CHAPTER 2 · 5 · Forgotten Memories

“This guy isn’t the protagonist!”
“Aaah!”
I sigh. So I guess it had been us, and Monokuma. He never really left, and it’s not that I thought he did, I just sort of… Forgot about him, somehow.
“Hey, don’t tell me you forgot about me or sumthin’.”
But I did.
“I just thought you’d left.”
Ciel sighs as well, crossing their arms.
“Hmm? But I’m not the headmaster anymore, so I can hang out wherever I want, whenever I want, really.”
“Oh, to hell with that.”
They turn their head to me.
“Let’s go, Neo.”
“Wha-wha-what? Hey now, that’s no fun at all!”
Monokuma lets himself fall sitting to the floor…
“I thought so… You guys really don’t like me at all… No matter how much I give you… Haa…”
… Then lies on his back and somehow drags himself out of the gym with his back paws.
“So depressiiiiiiiing…”
We look at him as he goes.
“Circus music intensifies.”
“Huh?”
“... Nothing. Hey, so… What do you want to do now?”
“Ah…”
With Monokuma gone for sure, I feel a little more… free. Like everything around me finally suddenly stopped attacking me. That’s when I notice I’d been sweating quite a lot—and wipe it off my forehead with the extremity of my sleeve.
“I was thinking I’d feel more comfortable hanging out with a bunch of people… so I was thinking about going to the dining room. What do you think?”
“Oh, really?”
“Is-is that a problem?”
“No, no, no, I just thought most people might want to take a breather on their own in that type of situation.”
“Is it your case then?”
I’d love for Ciel to stay by my side… The more the merrier, really. But I can’t force them to.
“Hmm… Nah. Thing is, I actually don’t know what I really want right now.”
Oh.
“In that case, what do you think of going to see Alice, Akiro and Jan? Since that’s where they must have headed to.”
“I don’t mind that. Yeah, actually, I wouldn’t mind seeing them in a calmer… setting at all.”
“Ha, same...”
Is that the reason why I’d like to hang out with them some more in spite of everything? I’m not sure. It really feels like it has something to do with me feeling lonely… or something that feels like it.
That being said, we finally head out of this damned gym.

FREE TIME

Only Alice and Akiro are in the dining room, sitting next to each other at the main table. Hopefully more people will join us “within the hour”…
“Where’s Jan?”
“Cooking something. I told him I wanted to keep an eye on him to make sure he didn’t try to ingest anymore metal, but then he told me about Kumakuma wanting to hurt Akiro…”
What an efficient way to get rid of someone…
“Give me a break…” he whines.
With his head down on his arms, Akiro hasn’t looked at us yet. Ciel and I sit across from the two, myself in front of him.
“Give YOU a break? Seriously, I can’t look away for a second without one of you trying to kill themselves!”
“I didn’t do anything!”
As he says that, he jerks his upper body backwards to look at Alice, but crosses eyes with me. He tenses up and his cheeks become red.
“A-ah, you, you’re here too.”
“Huh? Is… That a problem?”
I hate to be repetitive but—hey, that makes me sad! Why would Akiro not want to see me?
“Oof.”
“N-no! I swear!” he answers, hastily making cross shapes with his arms. “It’s just, uuuh…”
He lets out a long sigh and looks away.
“I’m very sorry about what I told you just then… I’m embarrassed.”
…
I think I might be blushing. He just sounds and looks so adorable. He didn’t even stutter once. I don’t know what to do.
“Aw, that’s okay, you kn… Oh, well, I guess Mina would tell me that’s none of my business.”
“I-I don’t know what I was thinking, so please accept my apology...”
He looks in my direction again, then bows his head slightly.
“A-Ah of course! You don’t even have to worry about it!”
I laugh nervously. Like I said… I forgave him immediately, so I’d dismissed it already.
“I didn’t even mind it, you just… Had your opinion, so that’s alright.”
He finally looks at me again, pouting with a sad expression.
“I way over… overreacted though… So I’m glad M-Mina said something about it.”
“Yeah, well, because of that, it’s alright now!”
I nervously scratch my cheek. “Try to pretend you’re not enjoying this interaction way too much.”
“Alright, that’s enough, be cute another day when your life isn’t in danger.”
“I-I’m not trying to be cute!”
His cheeks become even redder, and he hides his face inside his palms.
“Jeez, what did I just say?”
“Haha… No matter what you do, you just can’t help but be adorable.”
“Y-you guys are just s-saying that because you like me…”
“…Yeah, and we’re all collectively flirting with you right now.”
“N-not in that way!”
I wouldn’t refuse to flirt with Akiro, but he probably likes someone else.
“Don’t say that now, I have a girlfriend, you know…”
“Eh?”
“Ah?”
What is this pain that I feel inside my chest? I, I wasn’t interested in them—
They raise one eyebrow.
“…Is that so weird?”
“N-no… Ahem, anyway…”
Still blushing and now looking away again, Akiro crosses his arms.
“I’m upset, s-s-so leave me alo-alone.”
“We’re all upset...”
“Hmm…”
She was right after all. He’s being too cute right now. Someone needs to stop him. I can’t even remember why I was upset just a second ago!
“I guess you… The two of you had even more reasons to worry than we did.”
… “Huh, right.” Both Alice and Akiro tried to get Jan not to swallow the key, even though it turned out to be alright…  Kumakuma tried to attack him I guess, but she’d also had to leave for a breather right beforehand.
“Oh, that’s right, are you feeling better, Alice?”
“We also had to worry about you not coming back in time…”
“Oh right, sorry about that…”
She looks away as well—the two people I’m facing are looking in two entirely different directions.
“But yup, for sure. I just needed a second to process things.”
“I’m uh, I’m glad Isabella wasn’t able to hit you.”
“It wouldn’t have been the end of the world if she did, but I don’t know what I would have done.”
“I-it was totally unfair, though!”
They look at each other.
“I’m really… r-really mad she thought she could do that.”
“I know… That’s not cool.”
“So… You wouldn’t forgive her?”
She frowns.
“I don’t really care about forgiving her or not right now.”
“What were you thinking about then? I mean, when you left. What were you worried about?”
“Hem... I’m not sure…”
She rests her chin on her palm, and her elbow on the table.
“I’m usually the one protecting others, so that felt weird, I guess.”
“Oh, okay… I guess I didn’t expect Jan to come to your rescue like that either.”
“Wh-what? He was always… Uuuh…”
Akiro scratches the back of his neck.
“I mean… H-he always struck me as someone who… would do something like, like that.”
Alice giggles.
“Right… He doesn’t strike me as someone who’d be brave, but then he puts himself out there like that, so I guess I’m wrong.”
Then she sighs.
“But then what… Is that guy just perfect?”
…
“Is that what you’re worried about?”
“O-one would wonder, right?” Akiro says, chuckling.
“Hm? I thought you were mad at him.”
“A-ah? Oh! Y-yeah, right!”
He crosses his arms even tighter.
“God, I hate this guy! S-seriously…”
“Right.”
“Right.”
“Right.”
“W-wow, mean…”
He sighs exaggeratedly.
“I’m just messing with you.” Ciel replies, smiling.
“I knooow…”
“Well, obviously, neither of us would have gotten mad if we didn’t care about him so much. Seriously, who tries to swallow a fucking key? Did his parents never teach him not to eat whatever he grabs?!”
“G-guess not…”
“Well, it was pretty small after all, so I guess we had nothing to worry about…”
“Still, couldn’t he have… You know, broken it? Like a normal person would?”
“Hey well, you can’t be perfect AND normal.”
Ciels shrugs. It looks like they’re in a pretty good mood, given the situation.
But hey, they have a point.
“Oh, so I guess that’s it then.”
“Yeah, probably.”
She manages to smile as well.
“But if he’s not going to worry about himself, it’s up to us.”
“Sounds about right.”
“Now, about you…” she adds, turning to Akiro. “Did you try to pick a fight with the bears or something?”
“What? No! I… I didn’t do anything, li-like I said.”
“Oh, right, about that… Do you really think Kumakuma hates Akiro for whatever reason?”
“I-it probably just knows… I know… Its name is b-bullshit.”
“Its name?”
“Hm-hm.”
Once again, Akiro looks in another direction, this time visibly uncomfortable.
“What about it?”
“It… It’s “bearbear”.”
“What?”
“Kuma… That, that’s Japanese for “bear”. S-so…”
“Ah, so Kumakuma’s name's just… Bearbear.”
Wow, that actually sounds really dumb.
“Yeah…”
“And... Do you really think it wants to get rid of you because you’re the only person who knows Japanese?”
I’m assuming Akiro actually speaks it. I never lived anywhere else than the US, so I don’t really know how much people from other countries remember their old languages. All I know is everyone started to use English roughly fifty years ago… But that’d mean Akiro’s grandparents still spoke Japanese, right? Plus, I’d never heard anyone like that before, but there’s Oscar who obviously has an Italian accent.
“No, that’d be silly. Wouldn’t Lois know what “kuma” means, if she’s knowledgeable about Monokuma to begin with?”
“Hm-hm, there, there are a lot of anime with bears… as mascots, anyway.”
“So there has to be another reason.”
“To be honest, I assumed he was messing with us… Like, what he means is that they both hate us all or something.”
“Oh, right, that would make sense.”
“But for Akiro to get almost mangled twice in a row… I can’t help but feel like there’s something else…”
“B-but the door… That, that was Oscar, not either of the… of the bears.”
“That’s true…”
“Are you usually this unlucky?”
“Y-yes.”
“Ah.”
I thought the unlucky one was Keith. Actually, now that I think about it…
“The first time we saw Monokuma… He fell on top of Keith, didn’t he? Like Kumakuma tried to do with Akiro.”
“…Ooh, you’re right. I’d completely forgotten about that.”
“So maybe it’s just a thing they do.”
“And... And since Keith turned out alright after, after that… It would probably have been alright f-for me too.”
“I don’t know, actually. That thing sounded heavy.”
“Eugh…”
“Hey, now that it’s done, there’s no reason to worry about it. Yeah… Especially if it’s just a coincidence after all. We should all be careful, that’s all.”
I nod. I definitely wouldn’t want Kumakuma to fall over me like that… Or anyone else for that matter.
“Well, so long as we have each other’s backs, I’m sure we’ll be okay.”
Yeah…
Ah, I hear someone’s steps. Light steps, not too different from Ciel’s… When I turn around, Chloe’s entering on her own.
“Hello again…”
See? It’s not like I became deaf all of a sudden… Or just developed a normal sense of hearing for some reason. I’m used to being able to hear people from pretty far away. I could come to terms with the fact that being surrounded with other Ultimates has to be different, and Benjamin did infer that his ability to be exaggeratedly discrete had to do with his talent that one time… But Jan?!
…Actually, now that I think about it, him and Andi must have an ability similar to mine.
While I’m worrying about losing the one thing I have going for myself, Chloe walks up to us.
“I figured… If Jan’s making something, I should come back here…”
“Sure!”
Alice raises her head and taps the table in front of the seat next to her.
“He might take a while since he can’t use normal knives anymore but hey, that’s his fault.”
“Aw, I wouldn’t say that’s his fault…”
She goes around the table and sits next to Alice without question, shyly smiling.
“…Actually, shouldn’t one of us offer our help? He doesn’t have to cook for everyone all by himself.”
“Oh, you could. I just didn’t want to leave that boy alone before you guys came by.”
She points to Akiro, whose cheeks redden a little bit, but quickly go back to normal.
“Right, how about I put my money where my mouth is…”
Ciel stands up, and walks to the kitchen.
“I’ll ask if he needs help,” they add, shrugging as they go.
Aw, my friend left. I should probably go too…
But someone grabs my hand. It’s Alice, who looks at me gravely.
“Tell me. How are you handling your heartbreak?”
“H-huh? What heartbreak?”
“Don’t lie to me. I heard your heart break in half when Ciel announced he had a girlfriend.”
“Uuuuuuuuh…”
That’s not even t—quit staring at me like that!
“Oh? I thought Neo was into Lois.”
“I know, obviously.”
Alice laughs, letting go of my hand.
“I’m just messing with ya.”
What—
“N-none of what you said was true!”
My cheeks are burning… For some reason…
“O-oh, it feels better when I’m not the only… the only one to get b-bullied.”
“Sh-shut up! All of you!”
I’m not into her, I swear! That’d be so lame..!
“Denial… Then anger… What’s the next one?”
“Seriously, just stop… You’re mistaken, I swear..!”
I might be getting a little too worked up.
“Oooh, bargaining.”
“Aaah..!”
I sigh and lower my head, disappointed with myself. I felt right into their trap.
“D-depression...”
…
“…Okay, whatever. I lost, somehow.”
“And acceptance! Such a piece of art!”
“Good lord…”
I laugh nervously. I really played myself right there… But still, I know they’re just messing with me, so it’s alright. Because we all know it’s not true, right?
Right?
“Truly inspiring…”
Okay, now Akiro’s bullying me. That’s a new low.
And that’s pretty much the worst it gets. The four of us continue to discuss about random things, with Alice very obviously trying to lighten up the mood. She does a pretty good job, as I don’t have time to worry about our situation until Ciel walks out the kitchen, drawing our attention to them.
“Alright everyone, the chef said we can all individually go get our serving in the kitchen whenever we feel like it.”
Hey, I hadn’t been feeling particularly hungry, but I’ll take a nice meal to brighten my day.

“So… How did you manage to do all this without knives?”
Alice asked Ciel to tell Jan to “bring something for her and Akiro”, which he didn’t seem to mind. I asked her why she wouldn’t simply go to the kitchen, and she replied that Akiro was too “fake mad” to go and she didn’t want to leave him alone.
He complained that he simply wasn’t hungry and she was a bully, but I don’t blame her…
Ciel and Jan have laid out a bunch of sandwiches, a big bowl of salad and a pot of macaroni and cheese on the counter. The two of them, Chloe and I take some plates and get to pick whatever we want.
“Round tipped knives were more than sufficient for this… But I’ll find a way to replace actual knives when I need them.”
After placing two small sandwiches on a plate, he puts his forearm in front of his mouth to yawn. With or without that, I was going to say he sounded a little tired anyway.
“Well, we’re very thankful for your efforts, you know!.. You sound like you might need a break.”
Putting some mac and cheese in another plate, he nods.
“Ciel’s help was welcome, but with this done I know I can take it easy for the day.”
“Ah, if you guys don’t know what to choose, the mac and cheese is awesome. Secondary chef's recommendation!”
Oh. Hmm… But I was feeling more like salad, right now.
“Secondary chef? Jan probably did most of the work…”
“Ouch. You didn’t have to call me out.”
That being said, and when we’re done taking our servings… We all head back to the dining room.
I notice that Jan is only bringing two plates with him, however.
“Two plates? Who’s grounded?”
“Groun- ah. It’s me. I’m grounded.”
… Not knowing what to answer, I think the look I gave him must have been a worried one.
“Just kidding. But uh, my tummy’s full already, for some reason.”
He smiles, so even though that wasn’t funny at all, I can’t help but smile too. Ciel, on the other hand, lets out a long sigh.
“Terrible…”
Jan chuckles, and the four of us proceed to the main table. Chloe, Ciel and I go back to our initial seats, and Jan sets down the two plates in front of his friends before sitting next to Akiro.
“Thanks sweetie! Oooh, cheese.”
It seems Jan had known exactly what she would pick, because she brings her plate closer to her excitedly. Akiro, oppositely, just glares at him then looks away.
“You’re welcome…”
I have to notice that his usual smile turns a little nervous. Taking a bite of one of the sandwiches… Oh wow, it tastes really good!
…What was I talking about, again?
Oh, right. Placing his head on his palm, Jan continues to look at Akiro. Nom, nom.
“Are you mad at me?”
The latter continues to look away, ignoring his plate. Alice won’t be able to help, because she’s too busy eating.
I take a glance at Ciel, who’s sitting right next to me, and they’re also looking at Jan and Akiro while eating a sandwich. Makes me think I should opt for a bite of that salad so we don’t look like two carbon copies… Just to make our stares slightly less ominous, you know?
Ooh, I like the croutons.
“I don’t get it.”
Jan’s nervous smile turns into a pout, and with the way his eyebrows are arching, he suddenly looks like the saddest thing on planet Earth.
“What?!” I let my hand fall next to my plate instead of taking another bite. How dare he look like that? This unreal amount of sadness might make me lose my appetite— What doesn’t he get? Can he get it? Please?
Akiro reflexively turns his head towards him, then tries to look away, but stops midway when he registers the face he’s making. Unsurprisingly, he becomes bright red on the spot.
“D-don’t look at me like that!”
Jan’s expression softens, and he opens his eyes slightly wider.
“Like what?”
“J-j-just stop!”
Akiro tries to hit the table with his fist… Realizes a plate is in the way… Moves his arm slightly, and hits the table with probably less conviction that he initially intended.
He simultaneously notices Ciel and I have been looking.
“You… s-stop too!”
“I just can’t.”
I shake my head.
“Me neither.”
I am simply unable to turn my attention away when’s someone forcefully drawing out Akiro’s adorableness, whether he’s doing it on purpose or not… …And jokes aside, Jan just looked too sad for some reason, and I’m too empathetic not to feel involved in this situation’s resolution.
Who wouldn’t root for the Ultimate Trio to stop being mad at each other?
While Akiro glares at us, pouting, Jan pokes him softly in the arm to get his attention back.
Oh, Good Lord.
“What?!”
He turns to look at the Ultimate Pianist, who looks sincerely confused and sad.
“Well, if I did anything that upset you, I’d like to know what it is so I can fix it…”
“Wait, seriously?”
…What they said. He doesn’t know?!
Akiro stares at him for a second, then sinks into his chair.
“Uuuuuughh..!”
“What’ch happening?”
“In her immense kindness, Alice finally decides to look away from her plate and towards her two best buddies…”
“Something’s happening..? I… was also too busy eating.”
“…What?”
“Oh, just tell him, he really looks nervous!”
“What’s the problem?”
“…I don’t know why Akiro’s mad at me.”
“Oh, that’s just because you scared us.”
Visibly satisfied with her answer, she resumes eating.
“Did you… seriously not realize that..?”
“But I…”
“Shut uuuupp…”
Akiro straightens his back to sit properly again and places his hand over Jan’s mouth.
“You have the right to remain silent,” he says, barely trying to look serious, red as his cheeks are.
Jan’s eyes go wide, but he grabs Akiro’s wrist to take it off his face, holding on to it… like he just did Isa- no, you know what, this is a cute and silly situation, so I’d rather focus on that.
“I didn’t actually do anything wrong, though…”
“J-just warn me next time, okay?”
Akiro still looks upset, but it sounds like he’s giving up.
“But you would have said no.”
“Aaaah! So you DO know I didn’t agree!”
… He whines, flailing his arm around.
I protect my plate with my free hand. My precious…
… In any case uh, this time, Jan lets go of his wrist.
“Alright, alright…”
He sighs… Then gives up on his sad expression, replacing it with his usual, calm smile.
“But as you see, everything turned out okay, so there’s no reason to stay mad.”
“J-just start by saying you don’t want me to stay mad, n-next time,” Akiro replies, clenching his fists in the air and pouting, because he HAS to be lying when he pretends he doesn’t know he’s the cutest thing.
“I wasn’t s… And well, that’s a given.”
“You’re cruel…”
“That’s not true.”
The Ultimate Writer sighs.
“Seriously… Just don’t do anything dangerous.”
It looks and sounds like Akiro finally calmed down. Great. My salad tastes even better now!... Somehow.
“Well, like I said, that was enough anyway.”
“G-good.”
Crossing his arms, he turns back in my direction, to look at the plate Jan brought.
“Aren’t you gonna eat anything?”
“Let me stop you right now, you’re not saying that joke again.”
“Sorry?”
“Terrible. Too soon. He’ll hate you for life.”
He chuckles once again.
“Ah, you’re probably right.”
“W-what joke? What are you t-talking about?”
“Nothing important… I’m just not hungry.”
“Akiro’s not very hungry either, so how about you just share this plate and stop making a fuss over everything?”
Oh, so she was paying attention.
“H-hey now…”

Rather than listen to Jan’s reaction however, I turn my head to look at the door. Unsurprisingly, preceded by the sound of Oscar’s steps, himself and the Ultimate Detective walk in.
“We were told there would be food.”
“Yes, yes. Everything’s in the kitchen, so take as much as you’d like.”
“Thank you.”
“Thanks!”
Holding the huge bodyguard by the hand, Mina’s the one to lead him to the kitchen. That’s… also very cute. What is with everyone today?
“So, you’re not really mad at me, right?”
I turn back to the table. Jan still sounds a little tired, but he looks a lot more confident now.
“Well, kinda, but you don’t have to worry about it, I gue-guess.”
“Why, but I always worry about you.”
Grins.
“Shuuuuut hhh-uuuuuppp!!”
Cheeks become bright red.
Akiro grabs Jan’s arm to slap a sandwich inside his hand, probably as a way to insist on him eating and shutting up.
Chloe sighs—she’d been silently observing the two, just like me.
“You guys are stressing me out...”
“S-sorry…”
Akiro scratches his cheek nervously, then stares down at his plate, unwillingly putting some mac and cheese on his fork.
“I plead innocent.”
He says, before he takes a very small bite of his sandwich. The Boys really aren’t very hungry.
“Nah, you’re guilty. This is entirely your fault.”
“Aw.”
“You don’t have to be stressed about this, you know. In the end, the two of them just want to protect each other, and not even Akiro will doubt that.”
“I c-c-can’t hear the haters.”
Nom, nom. He’s only starting to eat, when I’m almost done.
“I wonder... Just because someone wants to protect someone else… Doesn’t mean they can’t hurt them…”
“Hm..!”
Akiro hurriedly swallows his bite, shaking his head.
“We, we’re not really serious y-you know.”
“Oh yeah. If he’d thought Akiro was sincerely mad at him, he would probably have straight-up cried.”
“W-what?”
“…Yes.”
“Huh?!”
“I know right? Same!”
“Same, by the way.”
… I wasn’t planning on joining in, but I don’t have a choice.
“Same.”
Plus it’s not entirely false.
“Y-you guys are weird!”
“Really? That’s upsetting, but I guess you’re feeling emotionally invested in him…”
Aaah, how come she doesn’t get it? For someone as sweet as Akiro to dislike us would obviously feel like an insult.
I’d say something, but Mina comes back, immediately drawing all the attention to herself.
“Mac and cheese… That’s awfully American of you, Jan.”
She says, having picked that. She chooses to sit next to Ciel, facing Chloe, and Oscar sits next to her, leaving the seat facing him empty.
“American..? I’d say it’s a staple of British cuisine.”
“The British aren’t very well known for their cuisine…”
“W-well…”
“Neither the Americans or the British are known for their cheese either!”
She says, finishing her plate of mac and cheese that a British guy cooked.
“Pasta is Italian.”
“Ah.”
Oscar also chose the mac and cheese. It smelled very nice, but I didn’t feel like eating something so greasy.
“I’ll take your advice if you happen to be a pro.”
The bodyguard shakes his head.
“I don’t cook very good.”
“Well, no one asks you to. I still don’t get why the Ultimate Pianist would be such a good cook.”
“… Thanks for the compliment.”
He smiles, visibly unbothered by Mina’s antics.
“But I might remember you as a good cook more than I do a good pianist, doesn’t that bother you?”
“It’s not like this school has a piano…”
“I’ll remember Andi as a weirdo more than I do a guitarist.”
“Just artsy things.”
“There isn’t much we can do about it.”
“You’re right, you’re right. But still, I’m surprised an Ultimate would find the time to also become good at something else.”
“Why not? I mean, I’m surely not as good at it as Jan is at cooking, but I can also paint, and play the piano… I spend a lot of time gardening, but it’s not all I do in life, you know.”
“Play the piano? Not gonna lie Chloe, I don’t think you’re as good at that as Jan is.”
Chloe’s eyes widen, and she puts her hand over her mouth.
“Oh, oops!”
“See? You don’t even see him as a pianist!”
“Th-that’s not what I meant, I just… Uhm… I wasn’t paying attention…”
“We were just talking about him being a pianist, so I believe you…”
“Now... I can’t help but think that’s a little mean. It’s not my fault I can’t practice…”
He says, still smiling.
“Yeah, that’s why I was wondering about your usual life. You just have to be too busy to practice cooking.”
“W-why would that be the c-case?”
“Had you already heard about the Ultimate Pianist or his music, Mina?”
“Ha!”
She sounds very satisfied with that answer… Or, well, that question. But it’s a weird one… The Ultimate Pianist has to be ridiculously famous, so obviously…
… Even though I don’t remember hearing about Jan, he must have composed something I heard somewhere before, you know? I can’t dare to doubt his influence over the music industry.
“I know for a fact I haven’t! Now that’s some backstory to unfold, isn’t it?”
Jan chuckles.
“It’s not that interesting.”
“Why do you bring it up, then?”
I’m a little bit confused. He seems confident that we never heard his music, and that relates to this conversation because.. ?
“I take it that Mina’s assuming I should be famous for my craft, and busy working as a world-renowned artist.”
“Exactly.”
(Nom, nom.)
“But the truth is… That I rarely perform, and never outside of my city, and I never put out any of my original music.”
“Huh.”
“... While my title of Ultimate Pianist guaranteed my entry in a prestigious music school… I chose to finish my studies before I use it as a means to get a job.”
“Really? But since you’re the Ultimate… You probably don’t even need to study!”
He shrugs.
“I wonder if that’s the case… Or if maybe my capacity to continue learning contributes to my status of Ultimate.”
“…Oooh.”
But as a Voice Actor, my work is my practice. That being said, I don’t know anything about music…
“So as of now, you’re just a student and living your life as such.”
He nods.
“Man, I wouldn’t like to be in music class with the Ultimate Pianist…”
“I really try my best to use my talent in a way that boosts my classmates rather than bring them down.”
Sounds like he had that line at the ready.
Alice sighs.
“What a good boy…”
“But see, that’s interesting... As an Ultimate, you get to do that, but people like Oscar or myself don’t have a choice but to get to work.”
“I like my work.”
“But it’s not like you ever get to do anything else, right?”
“Ah. That is correct.”
“Oh, so you’re just jealous because you don’t get to have a hobby.”
Pausing in the middle of eating, Mina doesn’t answer immediately.
“…I guess it’s something like that,” she finally says, shrugging.
Oh, so that’s what this was all about. But now I’m just thinking I want to move to wherever Jan lives and be one of the privileged who get to hear his “Ultimate” music… Actually, I should ask Chris how she feels, having heard Andi’s on the radio.
“That’s understandable…  Your line of work isn’t easy.”
“Hm-hm. One would think taking breaks would contribute to my mental health and make me better at my job, but it just… never stops.”
Aw. She recently told us about the harsh choices she feels like she has to make as a detective, but hearing such a complaint coming from someone who just looks so young… It’s upsetting, no matter how you try to look at it.
“When this is over, you should ask for a break.”
“Oh yes, you will have deserved it for sure.”
“But it’s not about whether I deserve it or not… It’s about whether there’s a need for me or not.”
“The-there are o-other detectives in the wo, in the world r-r-right?”
“Of course, but if I know for a fact that I will be the quickest, and the best at resolving a case and saving people… It would be failure to assist a person in danger for me to let someone else do it.”
“O-oh…”
“Hey now young lady, you know that’s not entirely true.”
Alice frowns, exaggeratedly placing her fists on each of her hips… Taking over Akiro and Chloe’s personal spaces, but they don’t complain.
“Hm?”
“Like you said, you have to take your mental health into account. If you never allow your mind to rest, there’s bound to be a point when your brain gives up, and at this point, you won’t be able to help anyone anymore. Is that what you want?”
“Of course not!”
“Exactly! So for the greater good, you should allow yourself to take a break from time to time.”
“Oh, that is very well put.”
“Haa…”
Mina lets out some sort of uncanny nervous laugh.
“You’re right, but you’ll have to tell that to the ole caretakers, I guess.”
Oscar immediately pats her on the head… Wait, how is he already done eating?!
“I will tell them.”
“Pff!... Yeah, you’ll show them.”
She laughs again, a little giddier this time, and resumes eating in a better mood.
“C-caretakers though…” Akiro whispers, but no one follows up on that.
“Wow, I live for that wholesome content.”
“…Well, with that taken care of… Hey, Oscar, don’t you have anything to say?”
Alice crosses her arms this time, lifting her chin as if she could look down on this giant man.
“Something to say?” he asks, bringing his hand back on the surface of the table as he turns to look at her.
“To Akiro!”
“H-ha…”
“Akiro…”
Oscar pauses, expressionless, but I figure he’s searching for what he could need to tell him… Until he opens his mouth slightly, turning his head towards him.
“Oh, yes. I am sorry. I wasn’t careful with the door.”
“I-it’s okay, you didn’t… d-do it on purpose.”
“Yes, but it is unfair that you were in danger twice in a row and one was because of me. I will be more careful in the future so it does not happen again.”
“Okay, uh… Th-thank you.”
“That’s better.”
Otherwise unmoving, her fake frown turns into a satisfied smile.
Looks like she got what she wanted out of him, but with her open question to begin with, now I wonder… Shouldn’t Oscar offer Akiro his services? Not just as an apology, but also because of what we were worried about earlier.
“It’s unfair that Akiro was in danger at all, right? Don’t you think you could use your talent to do something about it?”
Oscar turns to me—his neutral expression intimidating as ever.
“Yes. I am taking the bear’s actions into account. I will keep an eye on Akiro especially. I am thankful Benjamin was here for him too.”
“H-ha...”
“We actually mentioned that earlier. Not only am I interested in learning that this “school”’s safety measures aren’t up to date… But I’ll be helping Oscar inspect every door and such, to tell where we could need to be careful, put warning signs and all that.”
“Warning signs..? If that’s what you need… I could lend you a hand and write them for you, if you tell me where they’ll be needed.”
“That would be very welcome, I’ll tell you more when we’re done looking, then.”
“Ooh, if you need cool signs, Jan has the prettiest handwriting, so he should help you make them more engaging and all that!”
“Hmm… Not a bad idea…”
“Really now..? Well, I don’t mind helping out…”
Jan had finally been able to allow himself that break he said he needed by not intervening in the last few minutes, but he shakes his head and gets up.
“But if you’re all done eating, I’ll just focus on washing the dishes for now, if you don’t mind.”
“Th-there’s no reason for you to do that on your own…”
… And with that said, and with everyone being done eating, we decide to put an end to this back and forth and go back to the kitchen to wash the dishes. We agreed that there was no need for everyone to come, so we let Oscar and Mina go do what they’d just announced, and the rest of us helped clean the kitchen without touching the rest of the food, waiting for everyone else to take their servings.

When we were done cleaning up, Jan wrote a note saying “for everyone, from Jan (with a little help from Ciel)” and we all went back to the dining room. Chloe and the Ultimate Trio stayed, but Ciel offered me to take a walk “outside, not that it’s really the outside, but it still kinda feels like it”, and I accepted.
We ended up walking in a straight line, and wound up on top of the hill, under the cherry blossom tree.
Ciel sits down in the grass.
“Just to reiterate, I’m taken.”
“Wh-what? Why do you feel the need to say that?”
“Aaah… Have you really never even heard of anime in your life, Neo? Are you aware of Japan as a country?”
They smile, and I sigh. I have no idea what they’re talking about, but seeing as they seem to be kidding, I relax my body and sit next to them.
“I know that Japan exists… Enough to know that’s where Akiro is from.”
“That’s not much.”
“I’m more used to working on Western games and cartoons… So uh, that doesn’t explain why you had to mention your, uh, relationship again.”
“I can’t believe you never saw that trope anywhere… Don’t you know how in romantic anime stories, the main character will declare their love for their senpai under a cherry blossom tree, on top of a hill… that’s often part of their school layout for some reason?”
“Their senwha—wait. I’m not declaring my love to you.”
“Well yeah, you better not! I don’t want to have to reject you.”
I sigh again, but seeing their dumb smile, I can’t help but chuckle.
“That’s not happening. Anyway…”
Ciel is incredibly charismatic, and I can’t quite describe how. There’s something beautiful about their physique, and the way their clothes and hair valorise it… Still, one thing I love about them is the youthfulness that comes through the way they talk and react. I can’t help but see them as a “younger friend”, no matter how fond of them I am.
But they probably don’t care to know that reasoning.
“… Anyway,” I repeat, having accidentally marked a pause, “I take it you’re a fan of manga and all that.”
They shake their head.
“No, not really, but I have friends who are. I’ve just watched the really big ones, like Dragon Ball Hyper X² and some episodes of One Piece.”
…Then mumble something to themselves.
“It’s nice and all, but how am I supposed to watch all 5580 episodes..?”
5580 episodes of an anime? This sounds more like a record a gameshow would break…
“Do you at least know about these?” they continue.
“Oh yeah, I heard a bunch of stuff about Dragon Ball Hyper X². But the only anime I’m familiar with is this sorta dark sequel to an old series, called “Yuri on Life Support”. I voiced the talking dog in the English version.”
“Oh wow, you did? I uh, didn’t watch this one.”
“It was pretty experimental from what I understood…”
It didn’t really make me want to discover anymore Japanese stories.
“So… I guess this is the perfect occasion to ask, what else did you star in? You can just mention the stuff you actually liked, if you want.”
“Aaaah!”
I clap my hands once enthusiastically. It is the perfect occasion to talk about that. After all, Ciel was worried about not knowing a lot about me, so I’m glad I get to tell them about my life… In a way that feels natural.
“Well, my first breakthrough was the two roles that I got in the Steven Universe reboot miniseries, Steven Universe Forever. I voiced Steven’s son, Golshan, and Amethyst.”
“That was you?! I love Steven Universe!”
“What? And you didn’t know I was voicing them? I even participated in a bunch of interviews and roleplay events!”
“I-I swear, I don’t remember you at all. I must have totally missed on something… Man!”
They cross their arms and shake their head.
“Now I want to check out these interviews and see you, but I can’t…”
I can’t believe a Steven Universe fan would have missed out on my involvement, it was a pretty big thing after all… But hey, I’m pretty flattered to hear they’ll be interested in the stuff I did when we get out.
“I could do their voices right now, if you’d like.”
“Go on..? Oh, can you do Amethyst?”
I clear my throat… And put on the voice of Amethyst from Steven Universe.
“Being a weak baby would be a pain, so we suck up all the good stuff from the ground, so we can pop out all big and strong!”
“Wooow… No way!”
They shake their head again, this time uncrossing their arms.
“It’s that line from that old short, right?”
“Yeah! I had to rerecord it for that time it appeared as an ad in Episode 4 as a joke.”
“That wasn’t the original?!”
They stare at me, visibly in awe. Hehe… It’s really flattering, so I can’t help but feel a little giddy seeing them like that.
“No, it was me! Did you like the voice I went with for Golshan?”
They promptly nod.
“Oh yeaah… But it sounds nothing like you!”
Well, duh, that’s my one talent, I’m the Ultimate Voice Actor. Did Ciel forget they’re also an Ultimate and how that works just now..?
“What else did you do?”
I laugh. They sound genuinely excited… Hey, that makes me really happy. It feels weird… Because something about our situation makes me feel trapped, but being complimented like that for the first time in a while is somewhat… Freeing.
“Well, I had another pretty big role in the Five Nights At Freddy’s 11 movie adaptation as the blind dog animatronic.”
“That was—there’s NO WAY I don’t remember you were in that.”
“Also a FNAF fan, huh..? Then that’s definitely weird. Didn’t you see my name on the posters?”
“No..? Don’t you use a fake name or something?”
“Of course not!”
My voice-acting career is the most important aspect of my life… So it makes the most sense to me to go as “me”. Neo Devin, Ultimate Voice Actor.
Ciel’s cheeks redden a little.
“I’m a bit embarrassed… Am I really that bad at paying attention to my surroundings..?”
“I-I guess? But it’s okay… After all, these are all very old series, so maybe their casting doesn’t matter all that much?”
“Well, were you in anything more recent?”
“Of course! My most recent role was Charles’ english voice in that French movie, “Endearing”.”
“Oooh, I saw that one. But I wouldn’t be surprised if I just missed out on the dubbing cast.”
“Oh yeah, I guess that makes sense…”
I’m also guessing it means they didn’t realize that was me. Then what major role did I have… Steven Universe was my biggest cartoon role… Oh, would a game interest them?
“I also had the main role in Half-life 3.”
“Half-life 3…”
They scratch their head.
“I don’t remember your name being mentioned at all…”
They shake their head… Twice in a row… That’s a lot of shaking for just one conversation. Then they let out a loooong sigh.
“I’m really sorry… I truly want to support all types of creators, but I guess voice acting is a field I’ve just been paying no attention to. Else I’d definitely remember your name being linked to these things…”
“Aw…”
Well, it’s alright. I don’t necessarily feel the need to become more known than I am, besides, for someone not to recognize my work shows that I did a perfect job “blending in”… Especially when it comes to being the second voice actor to a character, like Amethyst. If they’d been able to tell it was my voice, I would actually have been a little upset.
“But now that I know that…” they smile again, “I’ll always make sure to check out the voice cast for everything. Especially if it means I might find your name in there!”
“Ooooh, that’s so sweet…”
I find myself thinking that this is a cute conversation to be happening in such a pretty décor, and remember their initial joke about the cherry blossom tree on top of a hill.
So it’s finally my turn!
“I’m not in a relationship at the moment, but I’m sorry, I’m not interested.”
I smile… Probably a little too proudly. I’m good at reacting, but I rarely participate in the contextual jokes and digs.
“Whaaat—did you just use my own joke against me?”
They open their mouth and eyes exaggeratedly wide.
“Whatever will I do..?”
I giggle. Accepting defeat was probably their best possible reaction.
They still shrug it off, softening their expression.
“But hey, in all seriousness, I’m genuinely impressed by how good you are at what you do, and I’m definitely on board with supporting you as an artist.”
“Haaa… Thank you. That’s really cool of you!”
“Of course!”
They nod, smiling…
Then mark a pause, looking away, seemingly considering something, and their expression deflates towards something more neutral.
“What crossed their mind now..?”
“Ah, I was thinking about telling you more about what I do, but… Suddenly I’m wondering if there’s a reason we decided to talk about our Ultimates.”
“Huh? Why in particular?”
“Well, I guess no one really brings up their own talent all that often, for some reason? But Mina asked about Jan’s, talked about hers and Oscar’s… Granted this isn’t her first time… But just now, we also chatted about yours. I wonder if that’s a coincidence.”
If it’s a coincidence..? For us to talk about our Ultimates… I think it has to be. They’re overthinking it… Probably.
“I don’t think there’s a reason to think it’s not…”
“Well I still have some sort of theory.”
“Ah?”
I guess that’s why they brought it up. I also tend to overthink lately, but I don’t do it as well as they do.
“It’s uh… The motive, I guess.”
They start to scratch the back of their hand nervously, but stop, and stare at their fingers instead.
“Monokuma mentioned we could start a new life… To the point people wouldn’t know we have an amazing talent anymore.”
“And... Is that… Something you would consider?”
“What? No! Do you, uh, remember what my talent is?”
They look at me, frowning at first, but smile again rather suddenly.
“Can you imagine… Secretly being the Ultimate Clown? That’s straight-up goofy.”
… I consider it, and snort when it hits me.
“Yeah, that’s stupid.”
I don’t know why I contemplated that that could be where they were going with this train of thought.
“But still, don’t you think it could instinctively have led us to question our relationship to our talent our something?”
“Hmm...”
I guess that’s a good idea. It makes sense for sure… But I can’t really relate it to myself. I definitely didn’t consider this option… What I got from the motive was that it offered a new life, in a new place, and I didn’t really ponder over the details of what it meant.
They say instinctively, but still…
“Still, like you said, it doesn’t make sense in relation to some talents… Like yours.”
“Well, it made me consider how dumb that’d be!”
“Aaah... Well, I guess to some degree… It might have just contributed to planting the idea… or the word “talent” in our minds, right now.”
“…Yeah, that’s probably all it is.”
“Besides...”
They’re the one who mentioned it.
“Mina might just be the one who used that as an excuse to bring it up. She’d also been interested in Isabella’s talent… Don’t you know? She had her prove she could apply make-up on a guy.”
I remember Jan’s make-up was on point, but he didn’t keep it on for very long.
“Oh.”
They don’t add anything else, and once again, their eyes wander somewhere else.
I wonder if they’re thinking about something in particular, so I wait before I say anything else. Finally, they throw their upper body backwards to lay in the grass.
“In need of a nap?” I ask, laughing nervously.
“No, hmmm… I just started to think about something completely different. Is it okay if I change the subject?”
That’d be twice in a row. I’d often heard people being labelled as fast thinkers, but I never thought it could apply to someone who could hop from one train of thought to the other… Well, at least not in the way Ciel does it.
That being said, I don’t really mind trying to keep up with them. I kind of like the way they express themselves.
“Sure!”
“Okaaay… Is it okay if I ask you a weird question?”
“Yep.”
I’m on board with that too.
They don’t speak up immediately. They stare at the sky a little longer before they sit up again, avoiding my gaze… for some reason?
“…What do you think of my t-shirt?”
“Your t-shirt?”
I glance at it. As usual – because it’s not like they have a choice – Ciel is wearing a teal-coloured off-shoulder t-shirt overtop what seem to be some tight black undershirt.
“Well, it’s pretty.”
“…Thanks. But what do you think of uh… Its style?”
Its style? I don’t know much about fashion, so I’m not sure what they expect… I seem to remember I always just sorta imitated celebrities I liked.
“It’s uuuuh… “Basic”, I guess? Not having a motif or anything?”
They sigh, visibly upset about something.
“That’s not what I mean…”
“Then what do you mean? I’m sorry, I’m just not very good with fashion…”
“Don’t you think it’s a little… Uuuhm…”
They grimace.
“… Feminiiiine..?”
I’m a little taken aback.
From what I could gather, clothes shouldn’t be gendered. Besides, I’m wearing an off-shoulder overshirt as well. I guess I wouldn’t wear one exactly like Ciel’s… But maybe it just depends on how the wearer presents or feels.
“I guess so? I mean, I see how it could be. Do you, uuuh…”
I tilt my head without thinking about it.
“Feel a little more feminine lately or something?”
“No!”
They answered immediately, their voice a little squeaky.
“Aaaah, okay, I’m sorry!”
“N-no, it’s fine, it’s just…”
They bury their face inside their hands.
“I’m sorry… I think I’m going to need to be alone with my thoughts for a bit…”
With that said, they stand up.
“Wh-what? I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?”
I feel really bad now… For misunderstanding what they meant.
“No, no, not at all!”
Taking them off their face, they rub the palms of their hands, staring into emptiness.
“Seriously, please don’t think it’s something you said. I just started thinking about something I uh… Don’t like, so now I can’t get it off my mind.”
“Really..? In that case, don’t you think it’d be better to change your ideas by talking about something else? I don’t mind changing the subject entirely.”
I feel a bit nervous, seeing them act like that. They look genuinely upset, but it doesn’t feel like it’s aimed at me, and I trust them.
“That’s uh…”
They nod… Then shake their head. That’s a bit contradictory.
“That makes a lot of sense, but right now I really, really feel like being on my own for a bit.”
“Oh…”
They force a smile, however, and finally look at me again.
“I’d love to take you up on your offer later in the day, if that’s still fine with you, though.”
“Well, duh!”
I feel like a bit of an idiot being alone on the ground, so I stand up in turn.
“You can hit me up aaaany time. Really.”
So long as we’re here especially… I’d rather be with Ciel than on my own. Wait, no, that doesn’t sound right… I’d rather be with Ciel than anyone else.
Which would also sound wrong if I were to say it out loud… But they’re cool, and I feel the most comfortable when I’m with them. They’re becoming a good friend of mine, and I’m happy about it.
“In that case… I’ll be going back to my room, and search for you when I’m feeling a little better.”
“Let me accompany you at least.”
I’m not going to… stay here on my own.
“Yeah, okay.”
They look at me for a few more seconds, then start leading the way. I walk up to them and together, we go back to the dormitory.

We don’t run into anyone, and once we get there, Ciel opens their door with their handbook. Their cheeks are now a little red.
“This feels weird, like my mom is dropping me back home because I threw up in art class or something.”
That’s oddly specific.
“Well, I guess you’re feeling a little unwell, right?”
“…Yes.”
They laugh nervously, taking a step forward.
“Thank you so much for being patient with me. If… You’re not going to your room too, try not to stay on your own for too long, please.”
…
And they shut themselves in.
…
Try not to stay on your own for too long…
I look to my right, then my left. I’m alone for now, which technically means I’m safe. But I guess I may just believe that I’m alone…
Aaaargh, why did they have to plant such a distressing thought in my brain? There’s nothing to do in my room, so there’s no way I’m going back there in the middle of the day. In that case, I should probably meet with someone… But it’s not like our Monopads have a chat app or something.
I wonder if the others are still in the dining room… They wouldn’t expect me to come back on my own, but I think they’d always be welcoming either way. So that’s an option…
But while I’m at it… Aren’t there other people whose situations I’m wondering about?
…
I list everyone in my head. The first one to come to mind is Isabella. I accidentally wound up being the only one to stick up for her… I guess? But I don’t think she’s very… Stable at the moment. Neither am I –  hahaha – so trying to talk to her might not be the best idea.
There are two people who sort of ran off without a word: Chris and Andi. The thing is, I wouldn’t necessarily know where they are…
Unless I take this as an occasion to check up on our worst friend Keith. Well, not that he’s been that bad lately, which I guess contributes to me feeling comfortable knocking at his door.
I could ask him how he is and, if I’m lucky, either he’ll know where Andi is or she’ll be with him. So that I do.
…And no one answers… At first.
I realize I should give him some time. Standing up is probably not the easiest thing for him… I actually kind of regret my decision to bother him for no particular reason, when moving around looks to be so painful for him. But finally, the door opens a little.
“…It’s Neo. Neo’s fine, right?”
I see part of Andi’s head as she looks at me through the slit of the door. Bingo!
“The hell does he want?
“I think he heard that.”
Yep.
I’m guessing I should give them a good reason to let me in… Without fear.
“Well, I was a little worried about Andi and figured there’s nothing she loves more than to bother you,” I say, rather loudly to ensure Keith hears me.
“Worried about me?”
She immediately opens the door entirely. …Guess that worked.
“That’s cute!”
She puts her hands on her hips with a satisfied smile, taking a step to the side to let me in.
“What a perfect occasion to get the fuck out of my room.”
“Naaah!”
To make sure that I don’t get to take Keith’s request into account, she pushes me in and closes the door behind me.
“Uuuh, I wanted to see how you were doing too, you know. But… Sorry to intrude.”
“Ugh.”
Keith is lying on his back with his arms crossed… Not too differently from the way a dead body would be positioned inside a coffin, if I’ve gotta be honest.
“He’s doing fiiiiine! I’ve been kinda lost in thought, so I haven’t been bothering him much.”
She smiles with her teeth, tilting her head childishly, then sits down on the border of Keith’s bed.
“A-Ah, that’s uh, nice, I guess. In that case… Why do you need to be in his room?”
Gotta give it to Keith, she’s been intruding nonstop for the past few days… Hasn’t she?
“Well, I haven’t been here for very long, you know? I wanted to check if he was in his room at all, then I decided I could hang out here.”
I don’t think you should be the only one taking that decision.
“This is supposed to be my room. I hate you.”
Very sincere. “At least he’s got his honesty going for him.”
“Hehe…”
She throws her head backwards to look at the guy.
“If you really did, I wouldn’t hang out with you at all.”
“…Or does he?”
“Fuck off!”
This would probably be a little less weird if he moved at all.
“I-in any case… Andi, I was wondering where you went, since I saw you suddenly leaving on your own back in the gym.”
She throws her head back forwards, so violently I fear it may snap off.
“You were? I just went back to where I was before. I was searching for stuff in the storage room.”
“Oh? Did you find it?”
…The stuff?
“There was a buncha stuff… But nothing convincing… Because I wanted to do something for the guitar picks Emily made me, you know? A sort of decorated case at least, because they’re so important. Oh, but I found some loose strings.”
“Guitar strings?”
“Well, duuuh.”
Hey, when she mentioned them at first, the thought crossed my mind that there was no way she’d find something so specific… So…
“That’s good news, isn’t it?”
“That I found what I was searching for? Uh, yeah.”
“No, I mean… Why would there be guitar strings if there weren’t a guitar somewhere in here?”
She stares at me for a solid second before she gasps.
“Do you think so?!”
Excited as she is, she jumps a little, shaking the mattress as her butt falls back on it.
“Oof.”
I’m sorry.
“Do you think Monokuma’s hiding a guitar from us? If it’s true, I’ll kick his ass! And then he’ll give it to me!”
She holds up her two closed fists, her cheeks reddening. I guess it was her turn.
“N-No, don’t do that! I… don’t want to give you false hope or something, but I think if this used to be a real school, there may very well be a music room somewhere.”
“Schools have those? They have to have a guitar, then!”
She joins her two hands and places them over her nose.
“If there’s a room like that there has to be some way to access it… I just need to find it.”
I almost expect her to jump up and run out, but she stays in place.
“It’d be very cool if we could find one… I mean, I’d love to hear you play.”
Andi nods to herself for a while… Then turns her head to me, smiling.
“I’m happy to hear that! Because I’ll be playing a lot. I miss it so much.”
She’s a little overly excited, but it’s still pleasing to interact with someone in such a good mood.
“Heh, I guess it’s fit for an Ultimate…”
Mentioning the word “Ultimate” again, because of what Ciel said, I hesitate, but I don’t think it’s all that important in the end.
“… to uh, be passionate about what they do.”
We mentioned the lack of a piano earlier, but a guitar is all that occupies Andi’s mind.
“It’s not even about being an Ultimate! It’s just me. I need to play the guitar to live.”
“Like, as in your job?”
“No, not that!”
She shakes her head. I wonder if that’s an effect I have on people…
“I already know you wouldn’t understand… It’s like breathing to me. When I’m not playing, I suffocate, and I can’t stand it for that long.”
“Wow…”
“Tie her up before she makes a mistake. There’s rope in the storage room.”
I laugh nervously. I take it he’s not much of a poet… So if he’s taking what she’s saying literally…
“Come ooon, don’t say stuff like that…”
…She pouts, apparently not on purpose.
“I really just want to play the guitar. At some point, I feel like I might just go into a coma, but I’ll let it happen… So long as there’s a guitar available when they wake me up.”
“Hey now, that’s a little extreme...”
“Yeah, so it probably won’t actually happen. But it still feels that way.”
Phew. All things considered, I think I might prefer Keith’s objectivity.
“Is-is there a reason you feel so passionate about playing the guitar?”
“Nah, I don’t think so. It’s just natural to me, so if anything, I’d wonder why YOU don’t feel this passionate about playing the guitar.”
I don’t remember ever picking up one, so that may be the reason why.
“Well, I really wondered that at first, but then I met some people and understood it was a me thing.”
Something about the way she looks at me when she talks feels very genuine. Coming from such an oddball… It’s pretty sweet.
“I wish I had a passion too.”
Andi turns her head towards Keith, who does a perfect job of not moving a millimetre.
“Now that’s just sad.”
“Feel free to leave whenever you get tired of me.”
“Too bad for you, I have the patience of a saint!”
Do you?
“That’s not even true.”
Ah, I knew it.
“Well, I’m still pretty thick-headed.”
She sounds pretty satisfied about that.
“I guess the only reason she’s talking so much is that I barged in here… So I’m sorry, that’s on me.”
I try to say it light-heartedly, but I’m still a bit anxious, because Keith might take things too literally. I guess that means I don’t prefer that way of thinking after all.
“No, she bothered me before already.”
“O-oh, really? But I thought she was being pretty silent…” I look at Andi, so to not be speaking as if she weren’t there with us, “being lost in thought and all that.”
“Yeah, just sitting on the border of my bed in silence. Fucking stresses me out.”
Oh, so that’s how he saw it.
“Aaaah, so you prefer me when I talk to you?”
“No! I prefer you when you’re very far away!”
He finally moves in order to violently facepalm.
“Ouch!”
What an idi- no, that’s not very nice. I just don’t want him to hurt himself for no reason.
“That’s what you think, but what you’re feeling in that situation is just that you miss me.”
“Fuck no. Don’t say that as if you knew anything about feelings.”
“Huh?”
“…Huh?”
What does he mean by that? It was either a really, really mean thing to say… Or I’m missing something.
“You heard me, weirdo.”
“You know that’s not true…”
…
Her voice shakes a little, as if she were about to cry. Wait, really? She’s looking at him, so I can’t see her face from where I’m standing. But it really sounds like… That’s not cool at all!
“K-keith!”
“Wait..!”
He forces himself to sit up, grimacing so largely it looks like his skin might break.
“Don’t… Do that.”
“What..?”
Her voice is still a little weak. Figuring she won’t pay attention, I walk around the bed to get a look of her face from the side—and her expression has changed drastically from the last she looked in my direction, to something much more… fragile.
…I’m so upset, I can’t find what to say. So it was really mean after all. She’s not crying, but I feel like she might. This sudden change of emotion… may be normal coming from her, but it doesn’t feel that way to me.
“Just…”
Andi and I wait for the rest of his line, but it never comes. He slowly turns his head to look away, visibly upset.
But then, just… What?! If he didn’t mean to make her cry…
“Just… Just say sorry!”
She looks at me, looking almost confused, and Keith doesn’t move, once again. That may be the right thing to do in regards to his back… But does he think he can avoid everything by not moving?!
“She’ll never know you didn’t mean it if you don’t say it, you know!”
… I don’t know why I’m talking for her. She might know it but still feel bad that he said it, or something. After all, this jab really seemed to touch her immediately… But at least I’m trying to do something.
“Do you really think I don’t know that?!”
Keith shuts his eyes forcefully and as he ends his reply, grits his teeths.
“I never asked to interact with anyone to begin with..!”
What does that have to do with anything?! I don’t have time to ask, because Andi suddenly stands up.
Staring at the ground.
“Okay, whatever.”
Seeing that she tries to take a step forward, I instinctively take one back to make way, not that I know if I’m even okay with her leaving now…
But to my surprise, Keith grabs her hand.
“Wait…”
The look of regret on his face is so priceless I might be satisfied, if I didn’t know it was due to his instinctive decision to keep her from going and not to what he said.
Well, she waits.
And he holds her hand for a second, before he lets it go to instead bite his nails. He looks disgusted.
“You know… that I am sorry, right?”
…Wait, that’s the opposite of what we both agreed was the case.
“No…”
When she looks up and accidentally meets my gaze to turn to Keith, I can see that it’s not empty like I would have believed from her attitude, but rather, still sad.
“I don’t understand why you would say something so mean.”
He sighs, but it’s not his usual groan. He’s especially exasperated.
“I’m always mean, don’t you get it? I just… I just didn’t think that would hit you so hard.”
“Really? Did you think there were no consequences to wha—”
“Ah.”
Her “ah” was rather loud, almost as much as it was sudden. And for an instant, she does look empty.
“Ah,” she repeats, softer this time.
“Hm… Hm… Hm…”
It’s like a slow laugh, and to the rhythm of each “hm”, she manages to work up a smile.
“Okay, yeah.”
She nods, and now though her eyes still look a little sad, really smiles.
“That stuff really made me feel bad, so do you think you can avoid joking around this kind of topic from now on?”
That one makes me tremble a little. That’s… That was… Maybe she does have the patience of a saint after all.
For her to continue believing in this dumbass…
Said dumbass loudly swallows his spit.
“Uh, yes, okay. You made me feel bad, so… I’ll take anything to not make me feel WORSE than I already do.”
“SHE made you feel bad?!”
Now I’m the one to facepalm loudly.
“Cool, that’s better.”
She nods again, the look in her eyes gradually becoming more neutral, and turns to me.
“Thanks for sticking up for me, Neoboy! That guy needs a lesson or two in manners, right?”
Neowhat?
“Y-yeah!”
“Yeah, okay, we get it.”
That being dismissively said, Keith carefully lays down again, moving himself away from Andi. I have to say, he’s a little paler than he was before.
“Now that we’ve gotten it out of the way that I’m insufferable, I think you can leave.”
…
I hesitate.
I don’t want to tell him he’s right. Not because I think anything he just said was fine…
But I think… I don’t want him to indulge in it. Yeah, that’s it.
… I wonder if that’s why Andi tries so hard, too.
“I think he was really nice despite it all, so he can stay.”
She sits back where she’d initially been, shrugging.
“…Each word that I say is even more of an embarrassment, so I’ll really take loneliness over that,” he mumbles.
“I’m not leaving anymore, you know?”
“Fuck.”
I guess they never stop.
“Let’s, hmm… Hmmmmmmm…”
She looks up to the ceiling, calmly smiling.
“Let’s talk about something else entirely, this way Neo will feel comfortable staying with us too!”
With that said, she lets her head fall back to look at me expectantly.
… … Wait, why is it up to me to find a different topic?!
Guess I’ll just use what they’re giving me…
“In that case… On the topic of Keith embarrassing himself…”
“Oh-oh.”
“I said something else entirely.”
Hmm… I guess I failed at following this specific instruction.
“… Still, there’s something I just thought about. Or remembered, I guess.”
“Make it short.”
Maybe that’s just his way of being more conversational than before.
“Back in the gym… You sort of came to Akiro’s defense, telling Oscar he should apologize to him for what he did.”
…Even though it was entirely accidental. I guess he knows when a “sorry” is needed after all.
“Which is weird coming from me. Right.”
“Well, yes. Especially since… Back when we first met… You expressed a disliking for “pretty boys”, didn’t you? In that case, you should feel uncomfortable about Akiro for sure.”
And since I seem to remember he already asked to talk to him one-to-one before Monokuma attacked him, it’s very weird. Besides, I don’t think I need to prove that Akiro is, by far, the “prettiest” among all the “boys” here.
“Pretty boys? Yeah, I’d defo hate Akiboy if I hated pretty boys for whatever reason.”
“Akiboy…”
“Did you…”
He slowly brings his arms to his face, to hide it inside his hands.
“Did you really need to bring that up?”
The way he says it, it sounds like he might almost choke.
“N-No...” I answer without thinking.
It’s true that it’s a weird… and pretty dumb topic to bring up, but I did just pick whatever was the most logical train of thought that came to mind.
“Pretty boys... Just why?”
“I made a mistake,” he says solemnly, his face still buried behind his palms.
Just o—
“Only one?”
“Fuck you.”
When he takes his hands off his face, his cheeks are a little red. His turn.
He doesn’t look at me, but finally answers for real.
“I tried to be quirky.”
“Wut.”
“Q-quirky.”
“Yes, I know…”
He groans.
“I wanted to drive you off, but the situation wasn’t… what it is yet, or whatever. So I didn’t feel like saying fuck it and just being honest… And I said something weird, so you’d focus on that mostly. That’s what I usually do.”
“H-huh? So you don’t… Actually get uncomfortable about pretty boys?”
I don’t know why that’s what I’m caught up on.
“…Well, I feel like shit compared to you, but not particularly, no.”
…
I expected Andi to say “now that’s just sad” again, but she simply raises her eyebrows… and hesitates.
“You… know you’re sort of a “pretty boy” yourself, right?”
“What?”
“What?”
No offense to Keith… Actually, the reason for my reaction is that if that’s the only reason she’s sticking with him, I’ll forcefully take her by the hand and take her away.
“I’m just calling a thing a thing. You act like an 80 years old, but you have the face of a 16 years old. The cute kind.”
“I’m 21.”
“Sure, if you say so.”
She laughs.
“Just don’t think you can pretend you don’t have an adorable face just because you have a terrible haircut.”
“And here I thought you were complimenting me.”
He looks drastically away, now very red in the face.
This keeps me from getting a better look at him… But yeah, putting aside his typical expressions, I think I get what she means when she says he’s got a cute face.
“Well, I am. Just cut your hair and you’ll look great.”
“What’s wrong with my haircut..?” he mumbles once again.
“…A lot, actually.”
…I’m afraid she’s right. It looks too long, as in that state of growing one’s hair where it looks awkward, and his fringe is completely uneven. Add that to his stance… And I mean that of before a giant claw from the sky crushed his bones…
“Well, I’m not changing it.”
“Whyyy?”
“Just because you asked.”
“Oh, of course!”
She sighs, but still looks somewhat amused. I’m reassured to see she’s not upset this time.
In any case, I think there are many things Keith should change before his haircut…
“You’re so lame.”
“I know.”
“I’ll cut your hair in your sleep.”
“You’re sleeping in your own room tonight.”
“Why?”
“Why?!”
…
…
…
This went on for a while.
The two of them bickered for so long it stopped making any sense, but Keith still looked very upset by whatever the hell they were saying. This lasted until I managed to let in an audible sigh, catching their attention for an instant.
“Well, in any case… I was just here to know your whereabouts, so I think I’ll check on some of the others now.”
“Can you take her with you?”
I guess so long as he’s complaining about Andi, Keith doesn’t struggle to sound confident.
But uh…
I think I’m a little tired of both of their voices…
“No… I think you need to clear up your conversation to restore the world’s balance, at this point.”
“Oooh, that’s creative.”
“I know, right..?” I say, opening the door to run away.

Phew. I’m the one who chose to come in, but I feel like I just escaped from a trap. It looks like Andi enjoys the nonstop fighting, but Keith doesn’t…
Either way, I find myself alone in the dormitory once again. Spontaneously, I glance at Ciel’s door, but of course, it’s still closed. It’s not like I expected them to leave their door open once they felt better…
I consider knocking, but realize it probably hasn’t been long enough. This interaction felt a few hours long… But uh, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t.
With that in mind… I should probably go somewhere else. I’d like to run into Chris, but if I don’t see her, I have another idea of someone I could pay a visit to. Besides, when or if Ciel feels better, they probably won’t search for me in someone else’s bedroom, so I’m better off going back to the main building.
…Yeah, they’d probably give me crap if that’s where they found me, actually. Looking at their door one last time just to make sure it doesn’t open just as I leave, I walk outside and… trip over something.
“Oof!”
I only realize what happened when my hands and knees hit the floor.
“What the hell was that?” I ask, turning around to sit on my butt, blowing on my hands. It looks like some skin came off…
“Oh.”
“Owie…”
Why is Monokuma lying in the doorway? The way he’s positioned, it’s almost like he wanted me to trip.
I just stare at him as he lays there, unmoving, like he’s trying to imitate Keith. I don’t even find it within me to complain… All I feel whenever I see him is utter dread.
“As always… All you kids do is pay no attention to me… And hate me…”
“You did this on purpose!”
“Ah… Can you believe it..? For my dear students to assume, that I… Monokuma… Aaaah…”
…
“Aaaaaah…” he repeats, before he suddenly throws himself upwards to stand on his two paws.
“…For you to assume I would like pain and despair? Upupu. So weird.”
“So I was right…”
I wouldn’t judge someone for being a masochist… But I’ll judge him alright.
“Upupuu… Guess you were. It doesn’t matter to me, though. Tell me, Neo, why are you all alone? Did everyone get tired of you already? That’d be unfortunate.”
“Hah..? What… What do you want?”
I know he doesn’t care whether I’m alone or not, and I don’t care either. Can’t a guy go from a place to the other in peace? My palms hurt…
“Cutting to the chase, huh? I don’t know if that’s like you, or if you just hate me that much.”
I hate you that much… You and your plushie may have taught me the true meaning of hate, to be honest.
“Hey, don’t look at me like that, I’m on your side… Now, upuupuuu.”
“What the hell…”
That’s it, he’s just trying to bother me. I use my fingers rather than my palms to help myself up, meaning to walk away and ignore him.
“W-w-wait! You’re not leaving, are you?!” he asks, putting on an exaggeratedly panicked look. “I didn’t even get to ask you what I wanted!”
“What do you want?”
“Can you lend me a hand with something?”
…
“No?”
“Upupuu… Of course that’d be your answer. Because you hate me so much. But still, I’m not the headmaster anymore, so I’m not your enemy, you know?”
“You—You ki—You’re—”
…Haaaa! It hurts my head just to think about how much Monokuma has hurt us, in so little time. He can go to hell… I’m leaving.
I walk away for real this time…
But he follows me.
“See, there’s a problem with Kumakuma. Because of his whole shtick, he only ever speaks in that lowcost fashionista’s voice, you know?”
…
“Oh, I know everyone hates that, upupuu… So it’s fine with me. But I’m afraid you guys won’t listen to him when he makes regular announcements.”
Did I mention his paws make the littlest of sounds as he bounces on and off the ground, trying to keep up with me? Boing, boing.
I hate that.
“But of course, I can’t make these announcements anymore, because this is his school now, and I’m a supportive parent.”
Hmm. Tastes like puke.
“You’re a voice actor right? Well Mr. Devin, I would like to hire you for a role. Are you listening to me? I want you to announce to the entire school that one of the rules changed.”
…
As he talked, I reached the main door to the Academy.
“I refuse.”
He knows me too well… As he inferred, I’m not used to taking clear cut decisions on my own… I don’t think I am, at least. But the more he spoke, the more I repeated in my head that “whatever he asks, I have to refuse”.
Because Monokuma’s our common enemy, so that’s obviously the right move. I can’t doubt it…
“Wha-wha-wha-what? But what will you guys do if I don’t find a way? Everyone needs to be informed, Neo!”
“… Just find one! You’re making up your own problems!”
There’s nothing else I can say, or do. Without thinking, I run inside, slamming the door shut behind me.
(Alice—I’m so sorry.)
I head upstairs and continue running, with only one destination in mind. In this very moment, that feels like the only way to ensure I’m not alone and Monokuma can’t bother me anymore.
As I run upstairs, I briefly catch a glimpse of someone sitting on their own in front of a room on the last floor, but I… don’t care. Right now… I’ll only feel safe when I reach my destination… The library.
And when I rush in, panting, I’m suddenly surrounded with an aura of peace and quiet.

I don’t think Monokuma followed me.

“Phew…”
This was a little irrational, wasn’t it? I quite literally ran away from my problems… And I don’t know why I thought being with that person would make things better.
“Ben!”
The Ultimate Fortune Teller is sitting upside down on a couch, his hair touching the floor, reading a book… Ignoring me.
After looking behind me one last time to make sure no little troll is following me, I walk up to the couch and sit next to him. I exhale again… I’m not athletic enough to run up two stories like I just did, but most importantly, I think I started breathing heavily almost as soon as I started to panic. I simply couldn’t take it anymore… If I didn’t run, I might have exploded.
“I guess it’s no better than saying I might go into a coma…”
“Hey...”
I meant to look for Chris first, but ended up running to Benjamin immediately. Once I had this goal in mind, it felt the safest to me, but the main reason was that I knew for sure he was going to be there.
Because he’s still ignoring me, I wave my hand in-between his face and the book he’s reading. My palms still burn a little…
But he doesn’t react.
“Ben?”
I try to tap his shoulder, but he’s in an awkward position for me to do that. Hey now, after all this… If he doesn’t respond to me, I’ll feel even lonelier!
“Come on, if you’re mad at me because I suck, just tell me!”
I don’t know where the middle of that line came from, if not from my sense of guilt over not treating Benjamin fairly… Once again, I wave in front of his face.
“…Oh?”
Ah, finally..!
Before I can react, Ben suddenly puts his book down on the floor, and completely turns around to sit normally, grabbing my wrist with his two hands.
“Second degree abrasion? That’s no good. What am I supposed to do with that?”
“Huh..?”
He stares at my palm, pouting.
“There’s always that one guy… Here’s your fortune: you already fell, so statistically speaking, it’s unlikely you’ll fall again today.”
“What are you talking about?”
He finally looks at me in the eyes.
“Why would you show me your hand, if you don’t want me to tell you your fortune?”
With that unmotivated face he always makes, I can’t tell for sure whether he’s serious or not. I hurriedly jerk my hand away.
“I-I don’t you to give me my fortune!”
“Ah, I see.”
… He doesn’t insist, thankfully, and lets his arms fall to his sides. I’m not sure what he sees, though… Because if he didn’t understand what I was doing, I didn’t clarify anything yet.
“I was trying to get your attention. At least that worked…”
“Couldn’t you just call my na—ah, you already did that, didn’t you?”
“…Yes.”
I guess I should gather that he wasn’t doing it on purpose.
“Sorry. I was focused on my reading.”
As he says that, he leans over to pick the book back up. I glance at the cover…
“…Ah!”
Natural Order by Emily Louis.
“Did you, uh… Are you done reading your encyclopaedias?”
““My” encyclopaedias, he says… But yes. Now I’m reading Emily Louis’ novels…”
He turns his head to the right, and points to some of the shelves.
“See this book, Natural Order. I found it in the Science and Nature section, rather than Fiction, where it should belong.”
… I thought he would have wanted to say more about the encyclopaedias, but whatever. This is pretty interesting too. The novel I found was also out of place.
“Arthur touches on History… And it was in the History section, even though it’s a work of fiction. What Drives Me, which…”
“I, uh, think I get it.”
“… Of course, the reason I think they’re special is that all the other fictional stories are in the Fiction section, where they should be.”
“That’s a weird mistake to make.”
He shrugs, putting Natural Order down on the couch, next to him.
“Whether it’s a mistake or not, I think it’s interesting.”
“Are the books themselves weird, though? I mean, why are you reading them?”
… Now that I think about it, he could simply be reading the books because they’re, well, good. But since he forced himself to read these encyclopaedias…
“… They’re great books. I’d never read Emily Louis’ stories, so I think it’s interesting to get an idea of what they’re like, or about… If whoever put this library together thought they were so special.”
“Huh.”
“Before you ask, I haven’t reached a conclusion yet. About her books, that is.”
…
I can’t always read his emotions, but he looks very serious to me, and I don’t know why.
“What… What conclusions did you reach other than that?”
“Who knows?”
He stretches his arms, abruptly standing up.
“Well, I read a lot about Ultimates…”
He turns his head to look at me with this same uninterested expression he always sports, and yet…
“But that’s all there is to it, in a way.”
… I swallow my spit.
Not that I have anything to worry about. After all, he read about dangerous talents, and that doesn’t concern me.
“I’ll tell you more when I know more.”
I nod.
“Yeah. Okay. Uuh… Uhmmm… Especially since, I guess, uhm… You didn’t find the missing one, did you?”
He shakes his head.
“That’s a little concerning, actually.”
He stares at me for a second… then suddenly smiles.
“But if my theory turns out to be right… We won’t have to worry about it for too long.”
“H-huh?”
His smile is a proud one.
“I won’t say anything yet… But by thinking out of the box, I’m sure I’ll be able to try to get us out of here soon.”
“Huh?!”
I’m unable to remain seated. Stood up, I spontaneously take a step towards him.
“If you know a way out, why won’t you say it?!”
He puts his hands in front of his torso.
“Shhh… I don’t know the way out. I have a theory, and I’m afraid that if I say it out loud before it’s fully fleshed out, someone will prepare something to counter my idea.”
“Hmm…”
Why is he being so weird? Still, I guess his reasoning makes sense… But in a way, waiting any longer in our situation doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t know if there’s any use saying it, though…
“Hey, keep staring at me and I might wind up accidentally reading your fortune.”
“…Motherfucker.” Instinctively, I turned my head.
I take a step back, struggling to get myself to look in his direction again.
“So you’re that guy.”
“Sh-shut up!”
…I should restrain myself before I become that Keith guy.
Benjamin laughs.
“I won’t do anything without your consent, so feel free look at my beautiful face again if you feel like it.”
…
“Grmbl.”
I don’t know what made me look at his dumb face when he said that.
“Why are you scared of me reading your fortune? We can talk about it if you want.”
“Nooo…”
I won’t pretend he didn’t read me perfectly. He probably sees a lot of people like me… all the time. But I don’t know what I could tell him.
“Let’s talk about something else.”
I take a seat again and look at him, hoping he’ll do the same.
“Sure. It’s not like I have 14 lives to save or anything.”
He sits down next to me.
“...You’re just a fortune teller.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment. So, what did you want to talk about?”
…
“No? Nothing?”
… Well, that’s a good question, I’ll tell you that much.
Before even I needed to run away from Monokuma, I’d decided I’d head to the library to see Ben eventually. I think I was interested in how he thought he could help us all by reading books all day long… But it looks like it’s been treating him well.
In this case… Like I wanted to check on Andi’s reaction to the motive, what’s left is for me to question how he felt about it. He said he was worried… But not about the motive itself.
“I’d like to know how you feel about the motive.”
“Hm? Well, I’m worried it’ll convince someone once again.”
“Y-yeah, I got that... But about you…”
I scratch the back of my head. If he’s directly linking the motive to the possibility of killing, this might be a little awkward, or rude to ask…
“The whole “new life” or… “identity” thing, I guess it didn’t shake you all that much..?”
He stares at me in silence for a few seconds, and I have to force myself not to look away.
“Oh, that.”
He stares a little longer, then shrugs and shakes his head.
“No, I don’t need something like that again. I already got it.”
“Ah.”
…
“Wait, what?”
“Hm..?”
He can’t keep himself from smiling. He knows exactly what’s wrong.
“You already “got”… what?”
“An entirely new life, with no ties to the previous one.”
“Huh?!”
“Hehe.”
What’s there to be proud about?! Did he… For what reason would he..?
“Well, what is it? Do you want to learn more about me? I thought you didn’t like me.”
Oh, come on. I sigh… He’s just making fun of me now.
“There’s no reason for me not to like you…”
To tell the truth, he’s a pretty great person… I just… Don’t get it. If I learned more about him, however, I’m sure…
“Heh, that’s always good to hear.”
He leans back and closes his eyes.
“The truth is… I’m an amnesiac.”
…
Nothing comes to me. I simply stare at him… Confused, I guess.
He opens his eyes to glance at me, and lets out some sort of cynical chuckle.
“I lost my memory 5 years ago, and don’t remember a single thing from before.”
He passes his hand through his hair.
“Nothing… So whatever I did, whatever I thought, isn’t the me I know today.”
“I-is that… bad?”
It’s a dumb question, I know… But facing such a sudden declaration, I simply don’t know what to think. Trying to piece a thought together, it just crosses my mind that this means he knows what this motive means better than anyone else.
“Bad? Well, it’s confusing… Scary…”
He looks at the ceiling, and for a second, I’m afraid he’s going to continue listing a good bunch of negative emotions.
But he stops there.
“Still, it changes nothing to me. I have 5 years worth of me registered in there,” he continues instead, lazily pointing to his head.
“But from that point on, how did you… I mean… What happened in the first place?”
Normal questions come out of my mouth, but I’m flabbergasted. I just had no idea. And that feels so weird to me…
“Are you really sure you want to hear me tell my story? You’ll probably get tired of me…”
“Come ooon!”
By this point, I can’t tell at all if he’s kidding or not anymore. If he could just cut to the chase… “He’s always so confusing..!”
“Alright, alright, I’ll stop.”
He chuckles.
… And all things considered, I think there’s a reason he’s taking his time. He continues to play with his hair.
“The thing is, I don’t remember what happened… Obviously. What I was told was… At some point when I was 14, I asked to leave the classroom to go to the bathroom.”
He marks a pause, but I don’t want to comment.
“But shortly afterwards, the fire alarm turned on. The class had to rush outside without me… Because there actually was a fire.”
He narrows his eyes… Like he’s trying to remember.
“… No one knew where I was. I never joined the others outside. I’m guessing they checked the bathrooms.”
He shrugs.
“It doesn’t matter anyway… Apparently, the gym had caught on fire. It was inside this large building, with multiple rooms and hallways… They found me in one of the hallways farthest from the fire, fainted, holding a kitten in my arms.”
“A… kitten?”
“… A kitten. The two of us were alive. I wasn’t burned, so I most likely fainted because of the smoke.”
“Huh…”
It’s not just the kitten… It’s the entire story. No, that’s not it… It’s not just the story, it’s the pauses he marks, and the way he tugs on his hair as he tells it.
Something about the way he recounts it confirms, to me, that he has no memory of anything.
“Her name is Destiny, by the way.”
“Her name..? Whose?”
“The cat’s.”
“Oh.”
“We kept her. She was probably a stray… I don’t remember anything about her from before, either.”
About the cat…
… Thinking about her makes me realize that this story makes no sense. He left for the bathroom, and was found inside this other burning building, with this random cat in his arms.
“The cat and you… Both escaped the fire, I guess.”
“For a reason or another… Well, I like to think she doesn’t remember anything either. But since she was a kitty, it makes sense anyway.”
“But you weren’t a kitt… uh, I mean, like, a baby.”
“Haha…”
He enunciated this “haha”… but follows it up with a normal “haha”.
“I wouldn’t remember, but my family never told me I used to be a cat.”
“Haha.”
I don’t know where this forced laughed came from, but I definitely didn’t mean to imitate him.
As a matter of fact, it wasn’t very funny anyway.
“… Well, that’s it for what happened.”
“That’s it..? What about uh, your family?”
He stops tugging on his hair to stare at me.
“… They remember everything, but I don’t. They told me a lot of stories about me, but, well. After a while, I complained I didn’t want to hear them anymore, so they stopped.”
“W-w-wait…”
Oh no, I sounded like him just now. I grimace, but try to ignore it and continue.
“… But then… What do you… What is there? When you think about you before this incident…”
Continuously staring at me, he starts to play with his hair again, twirling it around his fingers. He looks unenthusiastic… This time, I wonder what it actually means.
“Like I said, I don’t even remember that. I woke up in the hospital, not knowing who I was. I knew how to talk, to count… But I can’t say I remembered the lessons I’d been learning in school that year.”
“In that case… Ah, wait, no.”
I was about to ask about his identity, but his family remembered everything.
“To answer your question, though… Just try to remember what happened before you were born, and you’ll see.”
“…I can’t, obviously.”
“Exactly.”
Letting go of his hair once again, he sighs and lets his hands fall to his thighs, in a slap.
“All of this goes to say, if I wanted to start over I’d run into a fire and hope to get a new cat in the process.”
“Jeez… If you want a cat, I’ll get you a cat, just promise you won’t do that.”
He smiles with surprising sincerity.
“Really? Can it be a black cat? Destiny’s white, I’d love to be the fortune teller with the yin and yang cat.”
“Wh-whatever…”
Ahem… If it means getting out of here, I’ll get everyone a new cat. I don’t care.
“Well, I’ll hold you to that. You’re looking a bit gloom right now, though, so just as a reminder… It’s whatever.”
“It’s wha—… Your memory loss..?”
I immediately feel bad about being the one to look depressed when this is something that concerns him… all the time, probably.
“I’m not sad or something. I was just sort of born 5 years ago.”
“Ugh…”
I can already read the headlines. “Local voice actor bullies five-years old”—
“Besides, I wasn’t a fortune teller before, so it doesn’t really matter to me.”
“...Oh. Really?”
This was an unexpected comment, but it’s interesting. It means that not only he became the Ultimate Fortune Teller after his incident, but also that his talent is important to him.
“How did you become one, then?”
“I had no memories or interests, so I found some new ones. I started to pretend I could read people’s fortunes since my incident for some spooky reason, but it turned out I actually could.”
“Ah.”
Why am I not surprised?
“I really enjoy the culture around it…”
Closing his eyes, he leans back.
“… That’s enough talking for today.”
“That’s sudden.”
“I’m a lazy guy with random and short bursts of energy, are you really all that surprised?”
I guess… This is a rather accurate description. I never bothered to put it into words before, though.
“Well, in that case, thank you for bothering to tell me more about your situation.”
“Hm?”
He opens one of his eyes to look at me, like I’m waking him up.
“I really appreciate that you’d open up to me even though we don’t always get each other.”
“Hmmmmmm…”
He closes his eye again and crosses his arms.
“Weirdo.”
…Well, that confirms it.
I sigh, and turn my head to stare at nothing for a bit. I never expected a story like this… Yet, I think it was a pretty good response to what I asked about.
The motive… Someone who already got to start over a few years ago wouldn’t need something like that, unless they’d messed up very badly. The way Ben tells it, though, it sounds like he grew up as a teenager with a family around him, friends to mess with about his own incident, and a cat. He could have been the happiest, or the saddest kid on Earth before that, but he has no idea… And it doesn’t matter to him.
Phew, that’s a lot to register. It doesn’t change anything about who he is, but I still think I’ll have to see Benjamin differently from now on. I think it’s because… I was able to see that there’s something legitimate that bugs him in his life.
“Do you know where Ciel is, by the way?”
“Hm?”
I take a second to discern what he means. I was busy analysing the depth behind his own existence, and he suddenly asks me about Ciel… Pff.
“They went back to their room a while ago.”
“Is that where he is now?”
“Probably?”
Does he want to see the—
“Wrong.”
…
Bastard.
I can hear light steps from outside, before the door opens.