CHAPTER 3 · 4 · Heavy lifting

“…We need to do something about it, right?”
Not that much time passed before Ciel and I left the dining room.
“About what?”
They sigh. I guess I’m being annoying.
“Mina and Oscar…”
“Oh. Uuuh… Really?”
…I realise that I sound a little dumb. But still… I know what I mean. Should we get involved? Is this our fight to fight?
Well, to be honest, it probably won’t be hard to convince me.
“It’s that… I feel like we’re at least a tiny bit involved now… And we need to do it for Mina’s sake, right?”
“Oh, she’s here.”
“Making her cry, that’s fucked up. She needs to know that we know she deserves an apology.”
“That’s…”
Making Mina cry… Yeah… That’s not really something we can just accept. I don’t see her as the type to get emotional very easily.
“But we’ve already talked to her, right?”
“Yeah, that’s why… We need to try with Oscar, probably.”
“What do you plan on saying to him?”
“Aaaaah!”
Ciel jumps exaggeratedly high.
“Oh G- gee, I hadn’t noticed you were there…”
“…Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Lois doesn’t seem to care that much.
“No, it’s okay…”
Ciel shoots me a confused look, before resuming.
…What? What did I do?
“What do I plan on saying to him? I, uh… I guess I could try to learn more about his position. At first.”
“But he didn’t seem very talkative earlier.”
“But that’s also why I feel like I haven’t gotten everything out of him yet…”
“Interesting.”
Lois stands next to us with her arms crossed and a neutral expression.
“Uhm... What do you want?”
She looks away for a second.
“I’m curious. About the situation.”
“Oh, uh… Do you want to come with us?”
“Hmm… No…”
She hesitates.
“It might make things worse. Oscar might not want to talk if it looks like we’re interrogating him as a group.”
“But she did want to come with..?”
“I… Well, I’m not sure about that.”
“Oh?”
“My conversation with him earlier wasn’t exactly pleasant. I’m thinking… If we run into him together, it might look a little bit more like we happened to be hanging out…”
“Run into him…”
“You know.”
…I don’t know what to say. I can tell that Ciel isn’t fully comfortable with Lois, but there’s no doubt that they’re trying, and this behaviour is coming from a genuine place. At least, that’s what the inflexion of their voice tells me.
But Lois…
“Should I come, then?”
“Yeah, sure. Sounds good.”
“Woah, that’s neat!!!”
… … …Huh?
Oops! Oops!!!
“…‘kay.”
“Waaaahh!!! This totally came out of me without my consent!”
“So? Do you know where he is?”
“…Hmm…”
Ciel’s judging me.
“…No, obviously. That’s our first problem.”
“Is it?”
“Yes..?”
…She looks… somewhat… smug.
“…Well, we’ll be out of luck if he moved since, but…”
“You saw him, huh.”
“Yes. Outside.”
“Did he look like he was heading somewhere specific?”
“I don’t think so. Shall we take a look?”
“Uuuh… Sure.”
Ciel spins on their feet. We’d been standing almost in the dead middle of the main hall – they walk up to the entrance, and without giving it much more thought, I follow them.
I can’t help but check multiple times that Lois is indeed following us.
“Oh—Huh.”
Right behind them as they open the door, I soon see the same thing they do. Oscar is sitting by himself underneath the cherry blossom tree, on the small hill facing the building.
“If you’re going to be alone, might as well enjoy the scenery.”
“He’s making himself hard to miss, though.”
I don’t know why I mentioned that. I guess we had no reason to assume he was going to hide from us.
“Aaaand I guess we’re lucky that we happened to see him as we headed out. Let’s go.”
Right.
Something about this is making me feel tense…
And we walk up to the other side of the map in silence.

“I didn’t expect to see you there…”
“Hm.”
Ciel shoots Lois a “don’t blow this for me” glance—meanwhile, Oscar…
“…”
He acknowledges Ciel with a look, but doesn’t say anything.
“Can we talk?”
“Yes.”
They let out a discrete sigh of relief.
“Cool. Can we sit there?”
“Yes.”
It’s hard, if not impossible to tell if Oscar cares, but all three of us sit near him. I glance upwards as I do so; it’s like the sky itself turned pink…
“You think it’s beautiful, Neo.”
“Huh?”
Wait, now that I think about it, this sounded more like a question. “You think it’s beautiful, Neo?”
“The flowers in the tree.”
“Oh… Y-Yes. That’s what I was thinking. And there are so many of them, it’s uh… something… alright.”
I didn’t expect him to make small talk. In fact, he never looks like he’s about to say anything at all.
“A powerful colour, one could say.”
…I think she likes it.
“Yes. It’s weird to find a such pretty tree in a place like this.”
“Do you usually hang out here?”
“No. I had nothing better to do just now.”
“Feeling lonely?”
“...”
“When it’s one of us, usually we hang out with Jan, Alice and Akiro. They’re the stereotypical nice group of friends.”
“It would be intrusive.”
Ouch.
“So what? Are you gonna stay alone forever?”
“Cold.”
“No. I will wait for Mina to calm down.”
“What..?”
“…”
…
“F-For her to calm down?”
“When she is calm, we will hang out together again.”
“Aaaand that’s how you lose a friend forever.”
“She likes to judge, doesn’t she?”
“Y-Yes… No, that’s not going to happen. You know that, right?”
“What do you mean.”
It doesn’t help that he doesn’t emote, like, at all.
“You were way too disrespectful. YOU need to apologise!”
“…”
Are we… on the offensive now? I have to help Ciel… Since they’re my friend.
“And Mina’s not going to let you do whatever you want…”
“Hm-hm. She’s stubborn.”
“And… And… You know her enough to know that, right?”
“I don’t understand.”
“S-Sorry?”
“It is not like I committed a crime.”
“We’re talking about friendship here!”
Though to an Ultimate Detective, I imagine that would matter a lot…
…Wait, I think that matters to a lot of people.
“She would not be friends with a criminal.”
Ah, that’s what I was thinking!
“… … What?”
“Sorry. I’m just confused.”
“How much so?”
“Or, uh… about what, exactly?”
“You don’t actually care.”
“Huh?”
Something about his deadpan delivery… makes that sound sudden, and violent. But still… Ugh…
“You don’t have to care about my friendship with Mina. So I wonder why you’re talking about it.”
“Well, I… care about Mina.”
“I see.”
“Pfft-”
Lois laughs silently, with her hand on her mouth, and leans slightly behind me, as if to hide.
…Why am I blushing? Uuh, why is she laughing?
“I just… I just think it’s important that you apologise to her. I don’t care what comes next, that’s between the two of you. But she deserves to be treated better than that.”
“…”
Oscar stares at Ciel—and even though it’s not me he’s looking at, it’s intimidating as all hell. I couldn’t say that his stare is intense, but… it’s immoveable.
But how many times can I repeat to myself that Oscar doesn’t emote? He’s not the only person whose expression I’m not good at reading, but his is… impressive…
“And if you don’t understand why you should apologise, then we need t—”
“I do not know how to do it.”
“Hm?”
“I want to apologise to her.”
“Y-You do?!”
“Yes…”
“OAH!”
“That was a weird way to put it.
Unrelated, but are there French YTPs? Wait… do YTPs exist anymore?
…What am I talking about?”
“…Sorry, I overreacted again.”
“Is it part of your job?”
“What?”
“Overreacting. Because you are a clown.”
“…I…”
Ciel glances at me with a curious look.
I shake my head. There’s no way I can help them there.
“Sorry…”
“…I can’t tell if you’re making fun of me or,”
“No.”
“Ah. Uh. Well, I don’t know, but maybe it plays into why I’m a good clown.”
They shrug.
“So you were saying you want to apologise to Mina…”
“Yes. Sorry. I was curious.”
“Oh? Do you often feel cur—”
Wait, no, Lois is going to…
“Ugh.”
Hate that! Sob!
“No. Not more than the norm. But since I see you often but don’t talk to you often, I end up having questions.”
“Aah… Huh. That makes sense.”
In which case it’s probably a good thing that he feels comfortable asking now, right?
“But I understand that you think it is important that we talk about my apology to Mina. So… Yes. I don’t understand why she is mad, but I want her friendship.”
“That’s uh… A first step.”
“Quite frustrating that you still don’t get it, though.”
I see that she’s empathising with Mina…
“Yes. And that is why my apology would be improper.”
“Hm. Interesting.”
“Do… Do you want to work through what went wrong with us, then?”
I can tell that Ciel is making every effort to be as patient as they possibly can.
“…I am interested in what she told you. Then maybe I could understand something I’m missing.”
“Oh..! That… sounds like a fairly good idea.”
That’s right! Actually… Mina talked to us, as in, Ciel and I—so this is the perfect occasion for me to get involved again, instead of letting them do all the work.
(It’s just that I think they’re much better suited for it than I am.)
“If I recall correctly… She mentioned that what made her upset was that you refused to leave her a choice, but that wasn’t the worst of it.”
“Hm-hm. She could forgive that, but you started criticising her height and behaviour.”
“Right! She said it was an attempt to be authoritarian, but not the right way to do it…”
“…Yes.”
“I see.”
“Learn anything useful?”
“I did not mean to criticise her. I thought I was assessing… No.”
“No..?”
“I came off too strongly. I went too far.”
“Oh? Do you really agree?”
He nods.
“Yes. I think I see what mistake I made.”
“And? What was it?”
“She is a 17 years old girl. She is not professionally trained like I am.”
“Hmm…”
“Even though our ages are not incredibly far apart, it feels different being under 18.”
“I don’t know…”
“No… He’s right. Once you become an adult, you can tell.”
“Hmm…”
…
“How old are you again, Oscar?”
“21.”
“Aaah… Haha…”
Ha…
“That makes you one year older than me. But I assume there isn’t much of a difference.”
“At this point, it depends on the individual.”
She nods.
“…Yes, I assume.”
Lois looks mature for her age, but in a fairly natural way. Comparing myself to someone like Oscar, though… I don’t know if two years from now, I’d…
“If, if that’s right… Then are you just… ready to be kinder to her from now on?”
“I wonder.”
“Huh..?”
“Maybe I am just not good at it.”
“That’s… an awful way to look at things.”
“And yet. I know that if I apologise, I will say the wrong things again.”
“But if you know what things are wrong… Couldn’t you avoid them..?”
“It’s difficult...”
He sighs.
Oh..? But he looks neutral.
“I think I need time to think of a good apology.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“Ah? Okay?”
“…Since we’re in such a sensitive situation, for her own good, it’s probably better if you don’t take too long, but… As long as you promise to take everything into consideration, taking time to think about it sounds like a fair idea.”
“I will try. It is hurtful to think that she is mad at me.”
“Hmm…”
“Now, please excuse me.”
Extremely abruptly—Oscar stands up.
“Wha-What’s up?”
“I need to take good time to exercise.”
“To… exercise?”
That’s extremely sudden, isn’t it?
“Yes. I have lost a lot of weight since being here.”
“Seriously..?”
“Yes… I did not have tools to exercise very well. Now thanks to Akiro’s advice, I brought equipment to my room, to train in my free time. But even with that, I will probably lose a bit.”
“Heh. Sounds like this matters to you.”
“I have been making efforts to ignore it, but I still know.”
“Ignore it? I mean… It’s okay to be upset, since it’s due to being stuck here…”
He shakes his head.
“If I wanted, I could stay in better shape. But I would have to eat differently.”
“Oh..?”
“But the meals Jan prepare are very good for our mood. So I let it be.”
“Hm. A necessary evil.”
“Yes.”
“Evil” is not a word I would have used to describe Jan’s cooking, you know.
“Uuuh… Good luck, then, I guess.”
“Thank you. Maybe I will talk to you another time.”
And with that, he leaves without turning back.
…
“Maybe?”
“Yeah… I have no idea what he meant by that.”
“…At least this went okay, right?”
Actually, it went pretty well.
“Hmm…”
“Do you disagree?”
“I… don’t know. I’m probably just worried. Maybe things really are okay.”
“…Who knows?”
Lois closes her eyes and lets out a long sigh.
“I guess… Uuh, what do we do now? ‘cause I don’t think we want to exercise.”
“No, no thanks.”
It’s an ego thing by this point.
“Do whatever you want, I’m leaving too.”
She stands up, though a little more delicately.
“Really..?”
“Hm-hm. I just wanted to be here for the drama.”
“Seriously..?”
“I can’t spend all my time with you, right? It’s important that I do stuff on my own too.”
She smiles.
She looks so smart… I feel like she’s judging everything I say or don’t say, no matter what…
“Okay..? Whatever you say.”
“Hm-hm. Keep a close eye on each other, though.”
And with that, she leaves the exact same way.
After a few seconds, Ciel shrugs.
“It doesn’t hurt to let her do her own thing.”
“Do you think so?”
“Yeah. She’s not mean or anything.”
That draws a chuckle out of me.
“…That’s one way to look at it.”
“I’m not gonna look at her in whatever your way is.”
“Huh?”
“Sorry, just being a clown is all.”
They tilt their head slightly on the right and smile a laaaaaarge smile.
…No, I think that’s just bullying...
“Jokes aside, let’s move.”
“…Oh? Why?”
“I already told you. This place is way too romantic, and I’m taken.”
“That’s…”
They stand up and pat their butt, though I don’t think there was any soil on it.
“…I hope at least you’re planning on bringing her on a date near one of these trees when you get home.”
“Eeeeehh, maybe!”
Though that could turn out to be a little boring. Unless there’s a nice café or restaurant nearby…

We moved to a bench closer to the dormitory.
“I hope Mina’s okay.”
“Do you think she’s still in her room?”
“If she made Jan come all the way there, I have to assume she’s planning to stay closed-in all day.”
“That’s depressing.”
“You’d know.”
“Hey—You’d know.”
“Damn. You’re right.”
They smile a shy smile, this time. At least it’s easy to tell when they’re messing with me.
It could even be something they’re good at.
“And we still have some time to kill before the end of the day...”
“Is there anything you want us to do..?”
I already searched the new rooms thoroughly with Akiro, Alice and Jan, but I don’t think Ciel did. If they ask me to, I could show them the labyrinth.
“Actually… Maybe it’s time we… talk.”
“Ah? A-About what?”
They look all around us before continuing:
“You know… It’s not super important, but since you asked me about it, I thought that maybe it’s okay for me to talk to you about that.”
I wait… I still don’t know what they mean.
They lower their gaze.
“…It’s been a long time coming. I don’t know how much this situation rushed it, but whatever. I…”
…
“…Yes?”
I feel tense. Not because I think they’re going to say anything that will bother me personally… Since they’re saying it’d been a “long time coming”… But because I want to be careful to follow the perfect code to being a good friend to them. Extra careful.
“I’m pretty sure I’m a guy.”
“Oh.”
“I used to think it was okay for people not to be able to tell what my gender was. But the more time passes, the more I realise I prefer to be looked at as a guy.”
“That’s… completely okay.”
“I don’t know that it is.”
“Wh-Why?”
They look at me again, though every now and then, their eyes wander in another direction.
“You may not understand, but… Is it really okay for me to say that I’m a man now? When I made such a fuss about being non-binary before?”
I don’t know that they made a fuss about it, but… They’re probably referring to something that happened in their private life, before we met here.
“I don’t care that much about people thinking I’m indecisive, because I know my journey, but… Was it okay for me to… appropriate an identity that I won’t even end up spending the rest of my life with?”
“I… Appropriate? I don’t think that’s fair.”
…I’m not sure I can help much, being cis and all, but… I’m queer too, so I have some idea…
“It’s perfectly normal to learn more about your identity as you age. At any age. But especially yours, you know?”
They look unsure.
“And it’s not like you kept the label from someone else. You thought it matched your identity, but maybe it turns out it doesn’t.”
I blush a little bit. I feel like I’m speaking out of my ass, but at the same time, this is a belief that makes sense to me. Like it already existed inside me.
“I didn’t steal it from someone, but… I’m giving non-binary people a bad rep… I don’t want people to look at me and think my experience is an excuse to invalidate other people who are actually non-binary… To say it’s just a phase, this kind of thing…”
This time, they look fully away from me.
“But if someone does that, they’re the ignorant idiot, aren’t they?”
“But because these people exist, I feel responsible for creating the risk for other enbies…”
“You’re not responsible for… for all the queerphobia that exists in the world. Your experience is real, right? And… You’re someone who needs and deserves support too.”
“Hmpf…”
“B-Besides… the examples you gave… are probably experiences you had anyway, right?”
“Yes… And I don’t want my silly ass to be the reason someone else has to go through those.”
“But you won’t be. Again, if someone tries to use you like that, they’re the one with a problem…”
…I need to make sense of this all…
“And… You know… You’re not the only one with this experience, of finding out you’d misunderstood your identity.”
“Y-Yes, but...”
They blush.
“When I heard people talk about that, I never… I never thought it would feel so…”
They swallow their spit and mark a few seconds pause.
“…I fought for everyone to acknowledge that I was non-binary… and I had people who fought for me… who are happy to support me as a non-binary person. This is going to be so embarrassing… and complicated…”
“Is it really complicated..?”
They sigh, looking in my direction again.
“You know… This top I’m wearing.”
“Yes?”
“I would never… That’s not how I want to dress anymore. At all. The cut isn’t right at all.”
“Oh… Right, you… mentioned that before.”
“But my granny… She was so happy to create the perfect clothes for me. And now I don’t even want to wear them anymore.”
“…But there’s no way she didn’t expect that.”
“Wh-What?”
“You’re 16. You could go through a goth phase while you’re in college. I could go through a goth phase next year.”
“…Will you?”
“...Probably not.”
“But… I mean, about my gran… I gave her whole speeches about how clothes had no gender, but how the way we dress in public contributes to our gender expression… She created clothes for me the way she did because of everything she learned from me.”
“That just sounds like… you have a lovely grandma who is willing to listen to whatever you tell her.”
“Yes! I do! So I don’t want to make her feel bad!”
“Can’t you just explain it to her?”
“But…”
“Tell her about how happy it makes you that she made clothes just for you. I mean, you’re still wearing this for her sake.”
“But she’ll be disappointed that I don’t like what she worked hard on anymore…”
I sigh.
…It’s not because I have anything against what Ciel is saying. It’s just… I’m feeling the pressure of having to defend my argument for their sake build up.
“I guess she could be. But there’s a lot more positivity within you accepting yourself for who you are, and communicating with her openly.”
“Pff…”
I notice that… they’re blushing.
“Basically, you’re saying that I need to be brave and stop avoiding confrontation.”
“Uuuh…”
Maybe..?
It’s not like I even know how to deal with one’s grandma, but this take on it makes a lot of sense.
“I guess that’s what I wanted you to say.”
“Really?”
Hahaaa… I shouldn’t feel so proud yet.
“Ultimately, I’ve been thinking about this for a good while. But being put in a scary situation like this… I realise that… I need to stop wasting time for no reason.”
“That’s…”
“…Depressing? I, I don’t think that’s the most depressing way to look at everything that’s going on right now. I… You know, you’re right. I’m still young, and… I think it’s common for people my age to think we’re invincible.”
I don’t think they realise… just how depressing it is.
“I feel bad for putting my grandma through so much of my bullshit, but I still have time to give back to her.”
…I hope.
“So… It’s decided?”
(I’m not sure what’s been decided, actually, but my mind feels messy right now.)
“Y-Yes. I… I don’t even know that I fully identify with the binary… I, I really do know that I’m gonna find out more as I go. So it’s probably okay for me to say that I’m a guy now. It feels like what I want the most.”
“…Okay.”
“So, I’ll have to ask that people stop using they/them to refer to me. That’ll give me some work.”
“Aaah… Well, I’ll keep it in mind for sure.”
I’m feeling slightly flushed once more. It’s uh… Probably a good thing that someone slapped me back to reality.
…Though it depends on what “someone” I’m thinking about.
“Th-Thanks. Also… Well, not right now, so don’t worry about it, okay? But I’m thinking about changing my name… again.”
“Oh. Ah… Ciel’s a pretty name, but if you… …”
“Hehe. I know it’s pretty. I bet a lot of people will say that.”
“Good… Good luck, I guess.”
“Thanks… for this whole talk.”
They… Aaah. He chuckles… He looks relieved.
“I think I’m done talking about it for now.”
“O-Okay.”
That might be for the best. I don’t know if I could have said anything much better.
“I don’t know what to say to change the subject…”
“Well…”
…I said that very strongly, and he turns to look at me with curiosity.
“While we’re on the topic of sharing about our personal… I don’t know…”
He chuckles shyly.
“Yes?”
I open my mouth slightly, but still need a few seconds to think about it.
It’s that… After everything I told him… And with the way I think about his friendship with me…
I may not know or understand much at all, but I do know that being his friend matters immensely to me. And if he’s my friend, then I should be able to… Tell him about this.
Right.
“I have something in common with…”
…No. Crap. I can’t say that. I can only speak for myself…
He's my friend after all.
“No, uh, sorry.”
“What do you want to say..?”
“…It’s something about me, that I haven’t told anyone yet.”
“Ah?”
Since he’s my friend, I can tell him. Knowing this is why I can finally do it.
Alright…
It’s that…
“I don’t remember anything.”
“Huh?”
“A-About my life. I don’t remember anything at all.”
“…Huh?”
“Well, I… The truth is, I remember being a voice actor. I remember doing work as a voice actor. I remember everything… At least I think I do… about being the Ultimate Voice Actor. But everything else, I don’t. I don’t know… where I live. I don’t remember my parents. My family. Or friends. That’s… all.”
His eyes are opened wide.
“But… Why didn’t you say so earlier?”
“…I didn’t realise it right away.”

And there are things I know for certain – but how do I know them?

♪♫ My mind overheats
My memories turn to vapour
My gaze in the mirror meets
Echoes of my terror ♪♫

It’s morning. I checked.
I spend some time in bed, staring at the ceiling, and I think…
“We were so focused on what we learned about Andi, we forgot to worry about the actual motive.”
Is there anything I can do about it?
I don’t know… I’m not fully awake yet. I wish I didn’t have to feel the weight of so many responsibilities…
Ugh, what am I saying? I’m never doing anything, except…
“Pff… Good morning… Y’know. Riiiiise and shiiiine! Be your best self today! I know that’s not much, but still.”
…Though maybe that’s safer for everyone.
Should I go to the dining room already? It not like Ciel will be up yet. We’ve all been telling this to each other… It’s not safe to stay alone. So…
I stare at the ceiling for a little while longer.

But honestly, I’m bored.
I wash myself… Hm. My hair dye is staying surprisingly well. I wash myself, dress myself, and go on my merry way.

Three heads turn in my direction when I open the door to the main building.
“’morning.
“Ah! Good morning!”
It feels surprisingly good to be seeing some people. Heading towards the stairs are Chris, Chloe and Isabell—
Ah.
“Good morning, Neo.”
Isabella looks uh.
Different.
“We just got here. It’s weird that we didn’t run into each other earlier.”
“…Oh, uh, really? I was assuming you were coming out of the dining room.”
“Nah… Our first stop’s the make-up room upstairs.”
“…My first stop, but I’m being followed.”
Maybe it’s because it’s morning, but Isabella’s voice is soft… reminiscent of the way she spoke before…
“...So we’ll eat breakfast in a while.”
“N-Not that Isabella takes that long...”
“No, I very much take my time.”
“…Ah.”
“Never mind the two other girls, huh?”
“It’s a whole routine.”
“It’s sacred.”
She crosses her arms.
“And I’m not going to stand around with a naked face, so…”
She hadn’t even fully turned in my direction, but still spins on one foot to face the staircase fully.
“...”
She leaves, and Chloe runs after her, while Chris looks at me for a little while longer.
“…Y-You’re a pretty woman, though…”
“...”
“…Yes?”
“I’m hungry.”
“Ah…”
She turns away pouting.
Ugh, am I a creep for thinking… ..? Watching her follow the two girls up the stairs, I wonder if like Oscar, she’s been losing weight since she came here. She’s probably muscular due to her Ultimate, not due to… lifting weights, like he could be.
Then again, my triceps felt a little sore after washing my hair this morning…
Maybe I should just go get breakfast.

Huh. Breakfast’s laid out on the table, but no one’s here.
That’s unusual. Isn’t it?
I guess that’s what I get for staying in bed after the morning announcement… and it’s not the end of the world. In the middle of the table, under a cloche, I find thick, yummy-looking pancakes – plain, this time.
What should I eat them with..? Hehe. That maple syrup looks enticing.

I ended up eating my ridiculously good breakfast all on my own. For as long as I was eating, it felt fine, but… Now that I’m done, it’s a bit… stressful.
For that reason, I do my dishes in a rush before leaving the dining room and heading upstairs.

DAILY LIFE

Where should I go..? I wonder for a minute, when my mind decides for itself. I can’t help but be drawn to… I walk upstairs again, and… What is it?
Taa da dadadadada dadadada dadadadaa…
As the music gradually gets more intense, I open the door to the music room without thinking, and stand there in silence for a while.

A rocky start and the belief that things can go on like this. But life keeps getting in the way. We continue going forward, with more and more weight on our shoulders, and soon we overcompensate. Soon, we start to run, and we don’t stop running.

It’s only when Jan stops playing – after a good few minutes – that I wonder what this song was. It’s familiar, but… Beethoven? No… Yes? Actually, how would I know?
“H-How do you do that… with your hands…”
“A loaded question.”
Alice, leaning against the piano, looks in a very good mood. She’s the only one to have noticed me, and waves at me.
“Neooo! What brings you here? She asks, already knowing the answer.”
“Aw, but that’s embarrassing.”
What..? Your smile is like… enchanting.
“Jan…”
“What?”
Akiro looks overly excited as well – a sentiment I think I can understand...
“Get that, Neo. He played this from memory, just because Akiro asked him to show off.”
“From mem—?! And you did, huh? He asked you to show off and you did…”
I chuckle, and luckily, this looks to amuse the Ultimate Pianist.
“He told me to play whatever inspired me.”
“And you wanted to show off.”
“No way~ Who am I trying to impress?”
Gh…
“Uhm, everyone. I can tell.”
“Hmm... Not even true.”
“Hehe…”
…Akiro doesn’t know what to say and defaults to being cute.
“Uhm… So… What was this piece called?”
“Oh, it’s the third movement of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.”
Huh. Beethoven it was.
“That was just the third movement..? How many are there?”
“Three. But the two other ones are much slower.”
“And you were trying to show off.”
“And you’re trying to make fun of me.”
“Trying? I mean—Nooo, no way.”
She giggles. Meanwhile, for some reason, Akiro is the one to pout.
“He… He has, has more fun playing fast paced stuff.”
“That’s true.”
“Duuuh. You’re not boring.”
“Is that so? I’m sure some would say I’m quite plain.”
“No…”
“Oh?”
Ugh, seeing him smile is one thing, but when it’s directed towards me—well, it always catches me off guard.
D-Does he know the effect he has..? Besides, I don’t even know why that “no” came out of me on its own.
“… … Well, you’re amazingly skilled. That doesn’t stop being amazing.”
“Aww… Thank you.”
I chuckle nervously. He probably doesn’t need to hear it from me.
“It makes me happy to hear that from you.”
…
Huh? I’m…
I’m torn between thinking that I walked right into this one, and being immensely flattered…
But knowing him, he’s probably just being polite. Still, that’s…
“That’s… … That’s nice…”
“He’s getting choked up! He’s getting choked up!!”
“Uh oh…”
“D-Don’t band together to bully me!!!”
“Y… You may not even need to practice anymore, right..? You were able to pick it up so easily…”
“Oh, no, I have to.”
“Ah?”
“…And Akiro masterfully distracted you, but you didn’t come here to play Beethoven.”
“Indeed…”
Jan’s smile becomes softer.
“What then..?”
“I guess I’m trying to keep a promise.”
..?
Alice sighs, but doesn’t say anything.
“…And it’s true that I don’t know if I should, or if… But…”
Though he tries to keep smiling, his gaze slowly wanders towards the floor, to the side.
“I had never dealt with death directly, so…”
“If… If I could keep it that way, I…”
“…But that’s silly now, isn’t it?”
“I know…”
“A, A promise…”
“Yes.”
Jan recentres his attention on me.
“Andi left me with a lot of homework.”
“Huh?”
“She… asked me to work on the piano part of a song she wrote for the both of us, so…”
…My breath becomes short.
“You… Feel like you still have to do it.”
“B-But you know…”
Akiro… may have been staring at me. When I turn my attention to him, he blushes heavily, but doesn’t turn his gaze away.
“Let’s… Let’s not bother Jan with it too much. He… He… r-really liked Andi.”
“…He’s not bothering me.”
With a bitter smile, Jan slides his right hand in his pocket.
“I, I mean, I want you to feel free to express your feelings like… like this.”
He’s making it sound like…
“It’s okay.”
Jan looks up at me again. As he speaks, he brings his hand out of his pocket and clutches something against his chest…
“Andi seemed passionate about her music, and I felt a lot of respect towards her, so I don’t think I’ll stop thinking about her.”
“She’s gonna live rent free in our heads for a while,” Alice whispers.
“That was the goal, wasn’t it?”
But I can’t stop looking at his hand. What he’s clutching… it’s his broken necklace.
I think he notices me staring – and he smiles, politely, I’d say, but doesn’t say anything.
“You’re… You’re still carrying it around.”
“Of course. It’s my necklace.”
“…You said it was from someone important. But is it someone… …”
“You could say we’re meant to be together.”
He flashes another one of these smiles.
Maybe…
Maybe at least I made him feel better, at least for one second.
“But that’s all I’ll say about it, okay?”
“Right! You know how sad he is over this thing being broken?!”
…Oh.
“I’ll fix it.”
“…You will?”
“Yeah… So…”
Akiro can’t keep his eyes off the floor.
Jan turns his in his direction—then mine, then Alice’s, then Akiro’s again, then mine again… With an innocent look on his face.
“Wait… I didn’t make it sound like you had to worry about me, did I?”
…
… … Hey, he’s right. That’s silly.
“No, sorry. I know you’re doing fine, so don’t worry about it.”
“Hm?”
After looking at me for a few seconds, Jan’s eyes open wide… for some reason. Eventually, he shakes his head and turns back towards the piano.
“How embarrassing. What I actually intend to do is to make her art live on.”
“I think that’s a beautiful sentiment.”
“You’re out of luck, because… We’ll care about you anyway.”
“A shame!”
Jan marks a pause. From the side, I can see a smile drawing itself on his lips.
“…I’m still learning it, but listen to what this cool girl I met came up with.”
And fine as he is, he has no difficulty starting to play a completely new piece. It’s something… original.
I…
It’s hard not to focus exclusively on the music he’s playing.
I try to remember Andi, and her name is the only thing that repeats itself in my mind as he goes.
…
At some point, he stops.
“Hmm…”
He grabs a pencil from the top of the piano and scribbles something on the partition in front of him.
Akiro is sitting beside him, and Alice is leaning against the piano again…
Maybe I should let him practice. Because… There’s probably a reason he’s fine.

Trying not to lose focus, I walk out of the music r—
“Oof!”
Just as I closed the door, I bumped into someth… someone.
I take a step back, and Keith stares at me with teary eyes, and an air of utter confusion.
“W-What’s wrong..?”
He looks at the wall, then back at me.
“A… Andi…”
“Ah.”
He’s not exactly crying profusely… He looks more freaked out than anything.
“…I just wanted to come closer to… listen.”
I frown. I’m not sure… I can let someone stay like that.
“Jan’s probably going to work on this for a while, you know.”
“Ah…”
“Are you going to stay here?”
“N…”
…
“Alright… Come on.”
I know, it’s not easy to stay focused when Jan’s playing so close to us. If I can help Keith reason himself, I probably should. I gesture towards the staircase, and start walking.
He follows me.

Could be a safe place or something. I led him to the dining room… We take a seat together.
“Hmpf…”
“Do you feel better..?”
“I feel judged.”
…No, not too much. Right now, I mean.
He narrows his eyes.
… … He can’t read my thoughts, can he?
“I’m less overwhelmed.”
“Less, but not fully rid of it.”
I don’t know what else to say.
“It wouldn’t surprise you that I’m constantly at least a little overwhelmed, right..?”
He sighs. Just like every time I’ve been around him, he makes it feel like I’m bothering him.
“No... It makes sense.”
“…”
He stares at me with his eyebrows arched and a slight pout.
…That’s a cuter way to look like I’m bothering him, but I don’t care.
“I assume you feel like that too.”
“Oh.”
Does he care? I can’t help but feel like I’m being hard on him. I’m the one who brought him here… Maybe it’s a good time to have a slightly relaxed chat with him.
I don’t fully know why he irritates me, but to think about it, I’d have to think about something a lot more hurtful…
“…Uuh. Yes. Punctually, but still.”
“Punctually..? Okay.”
He looks away.
“I don’t know how you do it, but…”
“How I do… what?”
“How can you be… How can you manage to…”
He inhales sharply, and clenches his fists—but makes himself continue speaking in a calmer voice.
“I just can’t ignore, for a second, the time that I’m wasting here.”
“Tha… That’s what you’re worried about?”
“Y-Yes! How could I not… ..?”
He blushes. I… didn’t mean to make that sound judgemental or anything. I just didn’t expect him to worry about… wasting time, when he’s like… the brooding type, in a pretty extreme way.
“I… How long are we going to stay here? Hell, I’m not even sure how long we’ve been here anymore. My semester was just about to start. What am I gonna do now?!”
He speaks with his teeth clenched. I blink.
“Your semester?”
“Yes. Everything else, and my first semester of medicine. I’ll never… I don’t want to waste the year! If we’re going to spend more time here, I… I have to… Maybe if I can find a few books in the library… right…”
Wait—I want to say something, but he continues talking to himself, looking in every direction but mine.
“I’ll have to look. I’ll try to learn everything I can, and hopefully I’ll be able to catch up with the program when I get home. I know my other majors are a breeze, but I seriously need to learn for this. I’ll, I might have to spend a lot of time… I can’t believe I didn’t do this earli—”
“Wait!”
“Yes?”
He looks at me with a shocked look. Did he, uh… forget I was here? He’s acting weird.
“Why do you need to study medicine? I thought you were like, a sex therapist.”
He frowns.
“I’m a sexologist.”
“Y-Yes...”
“…You don’t know what that means.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
...This might be a grounding branch for this conversation to go in, for the both of us.
He sighs, and speaks at a normal pace again.
“Yes, a sexologist can choose to be a therapist. That would be what I’m most specialised in. But there’s more to sexology than knowing about consent and psychology…”
Part of me thinks, “I hope I didn’t offend him”. I don’t know why.
“… By the way, I assume that by “sex therapist” you didn’t mean that I sleep with my patients…”
“Uuuuuuuh…”
No, but now I’m thinking about it, aaaand… that’s… awful. I think?
“Anyway. To keep it short… A good part of sexology is also being a doctor. As a doctor, I should be able to identify sexually transmitted diseases and infections… and more, but I won’t bore you with the details.”
“O-Oh. Oooooooh.”
“Right. We should also participate in research, as far as those are involved. And as far as I’m concerned… I’m a good student, I have a good eye for these things, all that good stuff, but I can’t make up the knowledge.”
“…All that good stuff.”
“Hm-hm.”
That’s fairly interesting, though. I never thought to look at it that way.
“But… you’re the Ultimate, right?”
He shrugs.
“Whatever that means. I suppose they assessed that I had just the right ground to learn, or something. But I would have done this all anyway.”
“Ah, so… One would normally study psychology and medicine at the same time for this degree, is that right?”
“Uuh… Maybe?”
His uncertain tone is somehow not reassuring.
“It’s an option for sure. With being the Ultimate and all, I’m able to teach and give lect…”
…
“Lectures?”
He interrupted himself for some reason.
“My students… The program...”
“Urgh…”
“Wh-What?”
He chuckles nervously.
I’m starting to understand… He’s out of his mind.
“You’re… overwhelmed alright.”
“Haha… Pff… Nooo, no.”
Seriously? Liar!
That face he’s making—it’s not even in-character! … As far as I know.
“No, being here and wasting time is overwhelming, but everything to do with university is freeing, actually.”
“Freeing? Why?”
“Oh, uh, just, stuff.”
“…”
He’s looking in every other direction again.
“My mom’s not very… Well, she’s been very depressed my whole life… You know, I take care of her and all that.”
“N-No, I don’t know that.”
“Haha!”
…Voice Actor here to tell this guy sounds completely frantic… We may need another therapist.
“Yeah, well, that kind of stuff does get exhausting mentally, that can’t be helped. But university work, that’s a breeze. Hell, I enjoy it, even though I’m on tight sched… Which is fiiiine…”
“…”
“…”
He finally looks at me and notices my obvious grimace.
“…All that to say, I’m on a tight schedule, which is why I wish I were attending normally.”
“Uhm…”
“And-I’m-very-worried-for-mom.”
“…”
“Please-say-something.”
“I j…”
I try to sigh, but it comes out short. Damn it, he’s stressing me out!
I can’t help but shake my head... I… I probably need to think fast to save him from that spiral.
It’s that I haven’t been worrying about anything like that. I haven’t been thinking about a schedule, or people I’ve left behind. I had no idea, and now that I think about it…
“Is that why you’re so…”
…He makes a depressed face. Jeez.
“Well… I mean… Did you just tell me that you’re using your studies AND job as an escape from your… mom’s depression?”
“...”
He glances to the side before looking at me again.
“Not completely...”
“Huh. Okay. So. When we got here and you shut yourself in your room, like me…”
“I shut down emotionally, yes.”
“Why do you admit to it so casually?!”
“And no, I rarely ever spend time by myself normally. Yes, it’s scary. Yes, it’s also hard to go back to behaving normally now that I’ve tried it.”
“…So you’re aware of all of that.”
He looks away fully, this time.
“And I hate myself, which only makes things worse. Next question.”
“Huh… A… Anything else you want to say?”
“Hmpf…”
He tightens his lips. I guess it’s an obvious “yes”, but… what now…
“Ugh…”
“What?”
“Gh…”
His shoulders curl inwards with every grunt that comes out of his body, like he’s trying to make himself look smaller… Though I can’t tell just how intentional it is.
After a few seconds, he slaps the table in front of us with the palm of his right hand. It makes a ridiculously loud sound.
“Aaah!”
“When does it stop?!”
“Wh-What?”
“The… Ugh… Uggghhhhhh…”
He brings his head close to the table, but not close enough to faceplant.
“I need a cigarette so baaaaaaaad…”
“…Wait, what?”
“I’m out of my mind thinking about it… I’ve been needing a smoke since like, the second I stood up inside that weird corridor.”
“Don’t tell me… You’ve been going through nicotine withdrawal this whole time.”
“Ye-eeeeeesss!”
I… I think he’s trying not to cry again.
“S-Seriously… All of this… You’re not like, a complete jerk, you’re a complete mess!”
He sobs.
…Wait, did I just say that?
Oh my God. Oh my God. I’ve been so mean to this guy. He needs help, actually. We could have made things so much better for both…
…Argh, no, I might be going too far… right?
“Yes.”
He finally hits his head against the table…
“I’m not that mean, I promise… I’m ashamed of myself…”
He sobs again.
I’m… This is all making sense, but at the same time, I’m having a hard time believing it.
“I was going through the motions… Not expecting something dramatic to happen… But even then… Now looking back… I’ve already been letting myself get irritated and confused… That’s so irresponsible of me…”
His speech becomes faster with every word. That’s probably the point where… I have to talk to him.
“B-By something dramatic, I assume you mean… What happened with Andi.”
“…”
He doesn’t respond right away.
He takes a few seconds before leaning back into his chair, somehow pulling himself together.
But shouldn’t that… hurt..?
“I actually meant the drastic life change of being brought here, and all that ensued. But yes… Well… You already know the story, I guess.”
“Oh. Uh, right. But… What about now?”
He frowns and pouts again.
“Now..?”
“I mean… Hearing the music she composed was making you emotional, just now.”
“Ha…”
Yes… There’s no doubt he feels messy about it.
“And you said you could even have fallen in love with her in the future…”
He shakes his head and answers in a low tone.
“I don’t know that, though. It’s hard to figure out… everything.”
…Yeah, he’s right. I was probably not meant to take it that seriously.
I feel bad for bringing it up… I’m not sure where I wanted to go with this.
I guess part of me wants someone to find a solution for all these feelings for me.
“Most importantly, though... I don’t want you to look at her through that lens.”
“Wh-What lens?”
“A lens that’s in any way focused on me. We need to remember her for her, and not for how we felt about her. Especially… Especially when she went through so much.”
…
So Keith…
I already knew it, I just had other feelings… but evidently…

I failed.

Argh… My head hurts.
Now I know that it’ll probably make things better for everyone if we help him get better.
“S-Sorry… I guess I fixated on it. With your “pretty boys” thing, I thought you were probably gay.”
“Huh? What?”
He didn’t expect that change in topics. I know it’s sudden. I want to… It’s time we talk to each other a little more normally.
“… It was either that or you were like, super straight, but that sounded awkward for an Ultimate Sexologist.”
“S-Super… Seriously? Those were my only two options? Probably gay or super straight?”
…Unfortunately, he doesn’t look amused. But at least he’s not mad.
“W-What? Was I wrong? Haha…”
…Where’s Ciel anyway? I’m better at dealing with Ciel.
“Do you really care?”
Hm.
It looks like he’s assuming I don’t.
Do I?
I wouldn’t say I care, but… With what Lois said… Now I can’t help but think… That maybe this could be a good opener to force myself to ask that question too.
“Sure, if you want to share.”
“I don’t care.”
He shrugs.
“In fact, it ends up coming up often. Either because people think it relates to my talent, or because they’re a patient, or student, checking whether I’m safe.”
“Oh. Ah.”
“For that matter, I can be attracted to someone regardless of their gender identity.”
Oh. A—I actually felt like he was either gay and extremely closeted, or homophobic.
…Again, I’m starting to feel like I wasn’t looking at him in the most respectful way…
“So then, I guess you're like me, bi? Or pan.”
He shakes his head.
“No. I don’t use labels.”
“Huh..? What?”
He shrugs.
“Labels are useful, and using them can be freeing to certain individuals. But I seriously advocate for them not to be mandatory.”
“Oh, uh, but I kind of like… being able to say I’m bisexual.”
“Of course.”
Nodding, he sits himself in a more comfortable position.
“Being able to use a label can be therapeutic. But not having to use any can be freeing for other reasons—depending on the individual and their experience, one might feel uncomfortable with putting a label on themselves, or maybe they feel like they don’t know enough to use a specific one.”
…Why do I feel like I’m some sort of patient, right now?
“But on a more personal note, I personally feel like there’s something beautiful about letting yourself experience relationships, love and sex without thinking it puts you in a box of sorts. You’re just going with the flow.”
“Oh.”
So… Even someone who avoids his feelings, like him, has ideas of what’s beautiful.
“But that’s just my personal view of it. I advocate for the freedom of having our own bias.”
“That’s interesting.”
“…Hope so, because I just infodumped on you.”
“Ah, that’s what that feeling was about.”
“But then… Do you also not use labels… … You know, for your uh, gender identity?”
I sound like a weirdo for asking that. I sound like a weirdo for asking that. I sound like a weirdo for aski
“No, I don’t.”
Shit.
“How… do you know what pronouns to use, for example? Or, uh, how to present, I guess.”
He shrugs.
“I don’t have to decide, I just am.”
“…”
“But to be fair, being that I present as stereotypically male, it’s most appropriate for me to go as such… and makes the most sense to use masculine pronouns to refer to me.”
“Oh, okay.”
Phew.
He chuckles to himself, for some reason.
“That’s only with knowledge of our society, and in consideration of others, though.”
…That’s confusing to me, so I will ignore it.
“Why’d you ask, though? How do you identify?”
“Uuuh…”
Aaaah… I can’t tell him about… any of it. I knew I sounded like a weirdo. I have to think of a way to make myself sound less creep—
Ha!
Hahaaa!
“Oh, uh, I’m a cis guy.”
A cis guy about to be saved by the bell—two people enter the dining room just then, one of them noticeably short.
Unsurprisingly, that person turns out to be Mina, and to my relief, she’s accompanied by Ciel.
“Oh! Hello.”
“Good morning.”
Hey, she looks normal.
“Whoa..! Did Ciel convince you to come out?”
“Not qui—pfft—”
(He made himself laugh, but I don’t know how.)
“…Of your room.”
“Of my room, yeah, I guess.”
Ciel takes a few steps towards us.
“Hahaha… Ha… Uuh, anyway. Haha. I offered to accompany her for safety’s sake, for breakfast.”
“That’s sweet.”
I can tell… that Keith has calmed down.
For now.
“Ugh…”
Mostly.
“For breakfast at least. Then I might rope you into some shenanigans.”
“Uh oh.”
“Except Keith, whose back is killing him, isn’t it?”
“Those are fighting words.”
“Whut?”
“Don’t you have breakfast to eat? There are pancakes under that cloche.”
“Ooooh!”
“They can wait for your answer…”
She snickers.
…What’s going on now?
“Jeez.”
“Uuuh… What’s up, again?”
“Haven’t you noticed that Keith is particularly… mobile?”
“Why do you ask now?”
“You would question the ways of the Ultimate Detective?”
“…I’m not above that.”
I can’t tell if these two get along or if they hate each other.
“Seriously, what’s the deal? Are you accusing Keith of… not having hurt his back?”
“Hey. No. I still have giant bruises from that sh—and emotional trauma.”
“Buuut?”
Keith finally starts to get tense.
“L-Listen, I don’t know what’s going on…”
“I do… if that matters.”
“Eek!”
… … …
Huh? What? W- That… That voice, but then seeing Kumakuma jump behind Keith’s chair from nowhere… Both took me off guard, but… So did that ridiculous scream.

“You know what ? I’m not dealing with this on an empty stomach. Bon appetit.”
Ciel sits down and hurriedly puts together his breakfast.
Really..? That’s a surprisingly calm reaction. I, myself… just don’t know what to say.
“Nice scream, dude.”
I’ll let the others… Actually, Mina is the one who started this. I’ll let her deal with it. Whether it’s on purpose or not, Keith takes the same route, and stays completely silent.
“...So, what’s up?”
She takes a step away from the table, I assume to get a better look, from her height, of the white bear currently moving from the back of Keith’s chair to the table.
I hope… that at least… it won’t mess up our breakfast…
…It’s all that we have at this point.
“Hmpf… I’ll only say it… If Keith is interested in it.”
I hate this thing. I hate this thing so bad.
“Which he is, correct?”
My eyes go from Mina to Keith as she stares at him with an extremely serious look.
“I g… I guess.”
I glance at Ciel, who’s clearly focusing on his breakfast—I don’t get to do that. All I get is to… feel sort of bad for Keith, now.
“Well… See… I’m the headmaster now.”
“Great news.”
“I can sense that sarcasm at least.”
“Aaaaand…”
“Aaaaaaaaaand..?”
“I got tired of that plot point. Goodbye.”
The bear jumps down from the table and hastily makes its way towards the door.
…
Huh?
“Wait, what?”
“Hm?”
It stops right before exiting and turns its vacant stare to Keith.
I hate it so bad… Why does it sound so much like…
“What are you talking about?”
Glancing around, I realise that all four of us are now focusing our attention on the bear.
“That injury of yours, that was something the old geezer did, wasn’t it? Huge mistake in my opinion. Waste of energy. Not worth it.”
“A-And?!”
“Well since I’m the one who takes decisions around here, I got rid of it.”
“What the fuck does that mean?!”
Visibly agitated, Keith stands up and kicks his chair violently behind him.
“You know what it means. Your backache quickly got better. Soon it won’t even hurt at all. Be thankful.”
“Wait—”
…But Kumakuma doesn’t listen to him, and leaves the room.
“Gh…”
“What’s… going on, exactly?”
I thought out loud.
“…Something interesting, that’s for sure.”
“I’m not even gonna try to understand…” Ciel whispers.
“That’s… That doesn’t make any sense…”
Keith’s on the verge of tears.
“So Keith loses his handicap. I’ll keep that in mind.”
“But… But…”
“Wait, uh… If that’s… somehow… true, shouldn’t that be… a good thing, actually?”
“I… sure, but…”
Oh boy, he’s pale.
“Then why did I have to go through..? Was this all for nothing? What does it mean?”
He inhales sharply.
“What does it mean?”
“We’ll figure it out.”
“…”
Keith turns a helpless look to Mina…
“We will. And to that end, when you’re calmer, I’ll ask you some questions about your experience with all of this. Does that sound good?”
“… …Sure, Mina.”
…But his gaze soon falls sharply to the floor.
“You’ll see that your experience will be far from wasted.”
Is she trying to reassure him?
“Tch.”
I don’t think it’s working.
“A tired plot device? After everything that it led to? After Noah, after Andi?”
He narrows his eyes and speaks the next sentence in a lower voice.
“…Was it all my fault?”
“What are you talking about?”
Mina frowns—I notice Ciel finally turning his attention away from his plate to look at her too.
“Nothing.”
Keith steps away from the table and puts his chair back in its original place.
“That doesn’t sound true.”
“I’m going on a journey of acknowledging my wrongdoings, is all.”
He begins to make his way towards the door as well.
Wait, he’s… leaving?
“That’s good, but it shouldn’t mean feeling guilty for things you didn’t do.”
“…Maybe.”
As he’s about to pass the exit, I…
“Wait..!”
Thankfully, he waits.
“K… Keith. Are you okay?”
With his back turned to me, he stands still for a few seconds—but eventually, he chuckles.
He turns in my direction, but his eyes don’t leave the floor right away.
“I…”
When they do… For a second, it feels like Keith is looking at me.
But then, his face relaxes into something completely unlikely.
He strengthens his back and looks at me with a kind gaze… When he speaks, even his voice feels different.
“I appreciate your consideration, Neo…”
Gentle. Professional.
(…Ladylike.)
“But it’s not my intention to worry you. I fully trust my own process, and hope that you will as well.”
He smiles a polite smile before spinning on his foot and finally leaving.
…
Was that..?
“Wow, this guy’s lost his shit.”
Speaking with a mouth full of pancake, Ciel snaps me out of my short-lived daze.
“What the hell did you do to him?”
…
“Huh? Who? Me?”
“Yes!”
“I didn’t do anything!”
I have… I seriously have no idea what got into him.
Finally climbing onto a chair next to Ciel, Mina continues to watch me with a wary look.
“Who else would have taught him to speak weirdly like that?”
“N-No way you’re serious…”
After staring at me for a few more seconds, she turns her attention to the food in front of her, and for some reason, she says nothing else.

We end up patiently waiting for her to finish eating.

“So… Good news.”
“Y-Yes..?”
Once she was done, she practically yelled “WAITWAITWAIT” as she ran to the kitchen to wash her dishes. Now that she’s back, she claps her hands together enthusiastically.
“I am granting the two of you the privilege of partaking in an important mission.”
“I-I’m not listening in on one of your OTPs again.”
“Wut?”
“One of my what?”
…
“Anyway… I hope you like arts and crafts.”
“This is sounding less important by the minute.”
“And yet. Remember how a certain individual almost mangled Akiro that one time?”
Uuuuhh…
“You’re gonna have to be more specific with this one.”
“That’s… true. Hm. I meant that time Oscar slammed a door in his face.”
“Fun times.”
“Oh. That certain individual.”
“Yes, that one. Well, I conducted an investigation on what and which doors opened on what side, but we never got around to putting up signs, like we said we would.”
“Ah, right. Didn’t someone say Jan was gonna do it..?”
Mina shakes her head.
“Someone did, but I think we already ask way too much of him.”
You can say that again…
“Plus we losers are more than capable of writing a sign, right? So let’s get going.”
“Why are we losers..?”
“Just kidding, of course.”
With that said, she makes her way to the exit and… Ciel doesn’t question it, so neither do I.

We followed her upstairs to the storage room.
I could tell that she paid close attention before walking in… But she said nothing about it.
She made us grab a diversity of arts and crafts supplies (…) then led us to the computer room.

“Push a couple screens aside. No one is using those anyway.”
“When did I agree to work for her, again..?”
“Aw, but I wish they worked.”
After putting down what he was carrying, Ciel tries to push one of the buttons, but the computer doesn’t turn on.
“One of them does.”
“Huh, really?”
“Yes, don’t you r-remember?”
Ciel grimaces—and for a second I make a weird face, but…
Ah, right, I remember.
“That was when you said that “geekery” thing.”
“What..?”
That stuck with me, but apparently not with him.
“So you probably tried to look through it, right? It was completely empty.”
“Yeah…”
“It didn’t even have NEWPaintGigaX.”
“It didn’t even have NEWPaintGigaX?!”
…No, I’m not going to scour my memory for something with such a dumb name.
“Which is why we’re going to display our secret talents on paper. Let’s get to work.”
“…Oh wow, I walked right into that one.”
“These two would make a great comedy duo…”
Mina turns a chair to the desk we cleaned up and climbs on top of it to grab a blank piece of paper.
“In all seriousness, it doesn’t have to be pretty, as long as it’s easy to read. We’re trying to prevent a possible dumb accident.”
“Yes ma’am!”
I wonder if Ciel actually wants to do it. He doesn’t look in a bad mood at least, and since he sits down, I grab myself a chair and do the same.
“We’re making 22 signs total, for the main building, not counting the bathroom doors. If you die hit by one of these, you’re on your own.”
“W-Why?”
“Write an indication that there’s no doorstop on every sign. All 8 classrooms open outwards, plus 6, that’s 14 doors that open outwards and 8 inwards.”
She ignored me completely…
“I’ll make those 8, so just make 7 “door opens outwards” signs each, okay?”
“Uuuh, I think so.”
“So I just have to write “this door has no doorstop and opens outwards” 7 times?”
“Yes.”
“Can I be creative with it?”
She sighs.
“Yes, as long as it’s easy to read.”
“Duh. You’re speaking to a party clown doubling as a nanny.”
“I guess I’ll trust the nanny, but I don’t know if I’ll trust the clowns.”
“Clowns?”
She smiles.
She’s having fun with me, isn’t she..? It’s not particularly upsetting, though. Whatever her attitude could be called, it’s the same one that’s been practically saving our lives so far.
…Ciel has already picked a bunch of coloured felt pens.
“I’ll just use red.”
If that’s okay, then… I’ll stick to black.
I write my first sign.


Should I sign it?
…Am I proud of this?
Six more to go…
“Thanks for helping me, by the way.”
“Hm?”
Mina is moving at a slightly faster pace than I am. Ciel… … is focusing on his craft.
“…For your information, I’ll need your help hanging those up as well.”
“Oh?”
“I swear to God if you ask why…”
“W—”
…
“Yeah, we’ll help.”
… …
… … … Oh, because she’s so short.
“Thanks. Anyway, I was about to say, I was feeling pretty helpless, alone in my room.”
“What convinced you to come out?”
A second sign done.
“Someone named Ciel… who’s not still getting started with his first sign, is he?”
“I’ll be faster once I have the design down, I swear!!!”
“He’s totally overdoing it!”
“Ugh… I guess I can’t be mad at you, since like I was saying…”
“Ciel’s the one who decided to come pick you up, huh?”
There’s no denying that he’s been worrying about Mina. That could be why he looks so satisfied right now… Unless he’s just enjoying himself that much.
“Yes. It probably wouldn’t be safe for someone like me to waltz outside all by myself, so… I appreciate the opportunity not to impose myself on someone at random.”
Would she really…
“And yes, I would be self-conscious about that.”
“Hahahaaa…”
Have I always been this awkward, or am I just now noticing it?
“So… Did you and Oscar try to get in touch at all?”
I assume not. She’s behaving like nothing has happened.
“What? That’s not in the plans.”
“Huh?”
She glances up from her third red sign.
“I’m... Tch. I’m slightly embarrassed that I reacted so strongly yesterday, but it wasn’t… without reason, you know.”
“Yes, I, I know. That’s why I thought… you guys might need a thorough talk to get through this.”
She shakes her head, and pauses for a second before resuming her writing.
I probably shouldn’t waste too much time myself, but… Ciel just finished his first one, and he’s spending a little too long just looking at it.
“That train has left the station. I’m not dumb enough to spend time with someone with this sort of behaviour.”
“Is it really that bad?”
“Yes. I’m serious.”
“Ah…”
“But...”
Wait… I just need to finish this phrase… Uhm, but… Right, isn’t it weird for Ciel to accept this so easily?
“After all the time you two spent together… The way you got along, and every time he protected you…”
…Just earlier, we went to the storage room again.
“Are you really willing to give up after one fight?”
“Do you think this is my fault, Neo?”
“No, that’s… not what I’m saying…”
She continues scribbling.
“I wanted to be his friend, and appreciated that he was. I believed that he wanted to protect me, and of course I was happy about it. But after what happened, I’m forced to face the fact that I’m not safe around him.”
“Not safe..? But… Didn’t your argument start because he wanted to protect you… but didn’t know how to do it properly?”
She doesn’t respond immediately.
“Do you really believe that?”
“W-What?”
“That Oscar wouldn’t know how to protect me properly.”
“I…”
…Honestly, I’m not sure what she means.
Is she asking if I believe him over her? I thought she said he meant to protect her, but… Now that she’s calmer, it looks like she’s changed her mind.
But how do I know that she’s actually calm? If I understood well, she was happy to be his friend. And her feelings were seriously hurt.
I guess… I don’t know for sure. Maybe someone like Mina would appreciate if I admitted that.
“I guess I don’t have enough information to distrust him, but… I don’t have the information to put all my trust in him either.”
“Hmm.”
She tosses a new paper sign to the side.
“A pretty way to say a whole bunch of nothing.”
“Oof.”
…I wouldn’t have guessed he was still listening.
“But don’t worry, there’s a lot that I don’t know either.”
“Ah..?”
Maybe it’s because she’s in a bad mood, but she never looks up from her project.
“I’m not telling you to avoid Oscar from now on. Take my experience into consideration if you’d like; all I was really able to observe was that he’s not as stable as I thought he was.”
“Stable…”
“...You’re right, that doesn’t mean anything, does it?”
Her felt tip goes “squeak” against the paper.
I only have two more left… and I think this is her last.
“I cried and yelled to myself yesterday. You locked yourself in and pretended like nothing had happened once someone forced you out. Even Ciel locks everyone out regularly. I would never have known that Noah was unstable. Andi was visibly unstable, but she wound up being victimised because of it.”
A bead of sweat falls down my temple.
“In a ludicrous situation such as this one, we aren’t made to be stable.”
…
I thought she would add something else, but she doesn’t.
What is her conclusion, then?
“You didn’t have to throw me under the bus.”
Ciel breaks our silence in an unmistakably light-hearted tone. How does he do it..?
“You were used as a positive example.”
“Hm.”
...Meanwhile, I’ve finished all 7 of my signs. I put them in a neat pile next to Mina’s, and…
We look at Ciel while he finishes his.
…
… …
… … …
“S-Stop, you’re making me nervous!!!”
“You know we’re making signs for the people stuck here, right? Not for a birthday party.”
“I’m letting my heart speak!”
“I don’t know that your heart will speak to, let’s say, Chris...”
“Well, she’ll be nice and she won’t say anything about it, so!”
“You’re doing this for yourself, huh.”
“…”
And he’s very focused.
His signs are multi-coloured, with purposefully rounded letters, and small decorations all around.
“What do you think, Neo?”
“Hm?”
“Ciel’s the token child here, isn’t he?”
…Aren’t you just trying to deflect?
“Neo has the same degree of maturity as I do, that’s why we’re friends.”
Mina looks at me, expecting me to say something, but…
If Ciel says it, I’ll accept it.

A few minutes later, with Ciel being finally done with his arts and crafts project, we left the computer room to start hanging signs on every door.
With her instructions, we taped one on the outside of most doors. I wasn’t really thinking about it when I made them, but I don’t think these will be very useful… though it can’t hurt to play it safe. And I can’t pretend their starkly different appearances aren’t at least a little funny.
Mina’s handwriting is actually pretty bad…
“Achoo!”
“Bless you!”
“Thanks. Let’s put this stuff back where we found it.”
Now that we’re done, we’re walking into the storage room one more time. Most of the items we took were on the lower shelves, and Mina takes care of putting the majority of it back.
“…Thanks again.”
“Sure.”
“Not just for helping me with the signs, but for hanging out with me as well. I know I’m not super fun.”
“What are you talking about..? Sometimes I feel like you’ve been taking clown lessons from Ciel.”
“And that’s supposed to be a compliment how..?”
“That’s him saying you’re hilarious and endearing and a joy to be around!!!”
I wouldn’t have gone that far—
“Uh-huh.”
She sighs, but she doesn’t sound displeased.
“Besides, you’re saying that like you’re leaving now…”
“Yeah, I am.”
“Why?”
“It’s almost lunchtime, isn’t it? I’m not coming with you guys.”
“Again..?”
“I have no reason to believe that Oscar won’t be attending normally, so.”
“You really feel... unsafe?”
She inhales sharply before letting out another, longer sigh.
“No. I know my worth, is all.”
I’m not sure what that’s supposed to mean.
“You just don’t want to.”
“You’re sharp.”
“Am I now?”
She chuckles.
“For a 16 years old baby, you are.”
Ciel shrugs.
“You’re literally one year older than me…”
I’d joke that they’re both young or whatever, but… The reality is, to me, it doesn’t mean much at all.
Hell, I don’t even know how I know that I’m 19. I just do.
“Which is immensely older when you think about it. Case closed.”
She makes her way towards the door.
“I ate more than enough breakfast, so I won’t bother the cook today. Just tell everyone I’m alright if they ask.”
“Okay, grandma.”
“I’ll make sure to bother you, though, if I run into you again later today.”
“...That’s good to hear.”
“Yeah…”
I think she has a hard time admitting that she likes to spend time with us. Isn’t there a word for people like that? I could have sworn.
With that being said, she leaves.
Ciel takes out his handbook.
“Hmm. We should head downstairs.”
We ended up spending even more time hanging the signs than we did making them… We even had the privilege of seeing Chris give us a weird look from inside the gym, where I guess Isabella and Chloe were watching her train – which now that I think about it, sounds boring for every party involved.
Unless…
“...Neo? Are you still with us?”
“Hmm? What?”
“What are you thinking about?”
“Oh, uh.”
Uuuh… What was it?
“Why did Lois say Isabella “had a type”? Was she referring to Chloe? But why?”
“What?? Are you talking about???”
“…Good question.”
I got so lost in thought even I couldn’t tell what I was thinking about.
“You know, Lois will probably be in the dining room.”
“Uuuh… Y-Yes, and?”
“…Just trying to convince you.”
“What? I was gonna come anyway!”
Pff…
Ciel walks out the door, giggling, and I follow him without finding anything to say to defend myself. As usual, he giggles for a little too long—at this point, I would be worried if he didn’t.

Surprisingly… Or maybe I shouldn’t be surprised. He was right, and Lois is already waiting inside the dining room.
Actually, what’s surprising is that she is collaborating with Chris and Chloe in setting the table.
“Heyoooo.”
Oscar and Isabella – looking more like her usual self – are there as well… The former leaning against a wall by himself, and the latter sitting at the table by herself. She’s staring at her nails, while he’s just staring at… us.
“‘sup. Run into Jan and the gang at all?”
“Jan and the gang..?”
“Huh? They’re not already here?”
“I talked to them earlier, and Jan said he’d prepared something in advance…”
“Which I only trust partly, so I’m still asking.”
“Uuuh…”
“Hm.”
“What?”
Rather than react to her lack of trust in her, Lois walks in front of Chris and moves a glass she placed down slightly to the side.
“Aligning the glass with the plate like this takes too much room. It should be slightly to the side.”
“…”
Chris’ face turns worryingly red, but she keeps her mouth shut.
“Uhm, I, I think it’s not very important…”
“It’s fine, Chloe.”
…Oh, I wouldn’t have expected Isabella to intervene. But I don’t have much time to ponder on it—as a group of three walks into the room.
“See? I told you.”
“Cool.”
“Oh, you already set the ta—woah!”
“Fu—”
Somehow…
…No, seriously, how? Akiro trips on nothing and falls face first on the floor. He puts his arm in front of him just in time not to actually hit his head.
“Aaaaah! Fuuuuck!”
“Aah—Oh my God!”
Alice hurriedly kneels next to him. Right behind the both of them, Jan, with wide eyes, soon imitates her.
“Are you hurt?”
“Ughh… No!”
“You sound in pain, though…”
Once again, I thought out loud.
Akiro sits himself up, with his teeth and knuckles clenched.
“Ugh! Why does this keep happening?!”
“I, I don’t know, but it’s okay…”
“Nooo-o!”
He only unclenches his fists to bury his head into his hands.
“Is… everything okay?”
This has undoubtedly caught everyone’s attention, but it’s hard to know what to say. Akiro isn’t speaking particularly loud, but his frustrated tone is nearly impossible to ignore.
“No! I just keep… falling down, hitting myself on stuff, all the time, why?!”
He inhales—multiple times in a row. Whatever is going on, it’s seriously getting to him.
“I, I, I can get that I’m a little awkward usually, but I’m not fucking-g… stupid!”
“C’mon, this doesn’t mean you’re stupid.”
Alice places her hand on his shoulder to comfort him. Is this something that has been building up? Because neither her nor Jan look surprised.
But they look concerned alright.
“But I’m tired… that this keeps happening…”
“I agree, it’s unfair.”
Contrary to Alice’s comforting tone, Jan sounds like he’s expressing genuine agreement. Not that Alice isn’t genuine – but it’s harder to say that Jan’s statement was an attempt to comfort him. Yet, it reaches Akiro somehow, who turns his face, unsurprisingly red, to him.
“Maybe it’s a sickness that makes you lose your balance.”
“W-What?”
“If it didn’t happen before, I would think that.”
“That’s… not very reassuring…”
“N-No… I don’t think… I don’t know…”
He turns a panicked glace around the room before letting out a long sigh. He places his head against Alice’s shoulder for a few seconds, then reaches towards Jan to do the same thing on his.
“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to make a scene… I g-got frustrated b-but I’m okay, so I’m sorr—…”
Jan takes the opportunity to squeeze him, and his blush obviously changes colours as it goes from “frustrated” to “flushed”.
“Pff...”
Jan stands up swiftly, and extends his hand to Akiro, then Alice, to help them stand up one after the other.
“I, I’m serious though, I’m sorry s-so, everyone c-carry on…”
“Hmm… But it’s okay to be upset… okay?”
“Y-Yes.”
…Is she trying to match his cuteness?
“…What do you think?”
“Huh? What?”
I had to acknowledge his presence somehow. Keith walked into the room mid-whatever this was and placed himself not too far behind me. I didn’t have to look to tell that it was him.
In the meantime, Jan’s making his way towards the kitchen.
“I made a cold dish for lunch, so it’s already ready.”
“But if the table’s already set, then what use am I?”
“Just sit there and be pretty, I guess.”
“An easy task!”
…
“…I’m not sure what happened, but Akiro’s still seething.”
“Ah? Really?”
Ciel came back closer to me.
“Yeah, but let’s leave him alone.”
Keith sighs, and turns his attention to me.
“Anyway, I meant to say sorry about earlier…”
“What about?”
“Uh, I gave you the “concerned co-worker whom I obviously lying to” treatment for no reason. That was weird.”
“Yeah it was!”
“That’s an awfully specific treatment...”
“Well, it’s okay…”
“What about Mina, by the way?”
“She doesn’t want to eat with everyone else. But we were with her just now.”
“Huh…”
I wonder if Keith has calmed down. It looks like the bags underneath his eyes have somehow gotten worse since this morning.
“You seem to worry about her a lot of the time.”
“…Yeah. She’s snarky. We get along like that.”
“Ah? For you, I would have used “cynical”…”
“Gee, thanks for the assessment.”
This conversation thankfully doesn’t last much longer, as Jan walks in with an almost comically large salad bowl.

There isn’t much to say about our meal, because as usual, it had been prepared with skill, love and care.
Despite the couple freak outs earlier, everyone at the table appeared oddly calm. I wonder… if that makes sense.
Maybe these meals are just that important to us all.

Once we were all done, Oscar offered to help wash the dishes. Akiro and Jan were about to head to the kitchen, but Alice insisted that the two of them took a break, and they didn’t seem very satisfied about it, but eventually accepted.
“I’m sorry, you know.”
“W-What..?”
Lois walks up to Akiro and speaks in a peculiarly soft tone.
“I’m sorry… you have to deal with this.”
Her smile is bitter… What is this ab…
“Uhm, Ciel? Neo?”
“Yes?”
Chloe grabs my attention with her cutesy voice.
“May I… talk to you for a second?”
“Jeez, you can just get to the point when you’re talking to these two clowns.”
“Hey… I’m this close to feeling offended that Neo is hijacking my actual talent.”
“I’m not claiming it..!”
“I just, uhm… I just thought… I don’t know if I’ll like it for sure, but since you took the time to pick an outfit for me, maybe I should at least come with you take a look…”
“Oh-ho!”
“If it looks okay, maybe I could try it on, I don’t know, but it’s worth checking out…”
“Cute!”
Do I even try to keep my thoughts to myself?
“Ch-Chris told me to consider it, so I did…”
“Bwahaha! Hahaa! I love you!”
Laughing evilly, Ciel is rocking his chair to an almost dangerous point—
“Good fuck you’re making it sound like you picked something awful, though.”
“You told me they didn’t, so…”
“They better not… … pervs.”
As Isabella stares at her nails again, I finally notice… did she already change her nail-art?
“I sw—haha, I swear, it’s just a cutesy thing, you’ll see!”
Ciel stands up enthusiastically, which we all take as our cue—we do the same thing, and leave the dining room together.

On our way up the stairs, I catch a glance of Keith walking in the library.

“Let me uh, just show you which one it is.”
I realised as we walked into the Fashion room that we left a bit of a mess. Ciel follows me closely, and I can’t help but blush a little when I turn around holding the cardigan-shirt-skirt ensemble.
“Oh, that’s… innocuous.”
“You were actually expecting something bad, huh…”
Chloe walks closer to me to poke timidly at the clothes.
“It’s cute… What made you think I should wear this specifically, though..?”
“Maybe there wasn’t enough purple between the three of us.”
“You can always pick yourself a new outfit…”
“According to those two, my body’s too freaky.”
“What? I never said that.”
“Me neither, me neither!!!”
I just know I’m gonna take the brunt of it…
“Uhm…”
“A-Anyway… I don’t think there’s a reason, I just saw it and thought of you right away.”
“Oh… Uhm… Well this looks about the right size.”
“Time to put on a fashion show, then.”
“Hmpf. I see that you’re on their side.”
…Coming from Isabella, this sounds light-hearted enough… if not… a lot more so than usual.
“S-Should I? But… I don’t know if I have the right shoes.”
“Ah, uh, there were those flats right there, but…”
I gesture towards the shoes, not too far away on the ground. Chloe takes a peek, but quickly shakes her head.
“These aren’t in my size, unfortunately.”
“Did you guys really pick shoes for her without knowing her size?”
“Nooooo.”
“Yes.”
“...”
Listen, I’m not even trying anymore.
“Well, uh, here, look at those.”
“Oh she’s actually on our side.”
Chris pushes the gardener lightly by the shoulders to lead her to a small shelf of different boots. She looks hesitant, but turns around a few pair of shoes, before grabbing two short white boots for sure.
“These will do… Uhm, if I’m actually trying this…”
“Yes you are!”
I… sort of force the clothes in her hands with a laaaarge smile.
“O…”
She sighs, before giggling.
“Okay, fine!”
“Really, though..?”
…Right as Chloe was accepting her fate, Isabella slides herself in between Chris and her, and grabs her arm.
“Aaaah...”
I guess I forgot there was a chance… She would have something against this.
“M-Maybe?”
“But you’re not going to put on a show… with a bare face, are you?”
“…Wait, what?”
“What are you saying..?”
“Without even accessorising… You have to let me do something, at least.”
“B-But Isabella, I… I never wear make-up.”
“It can be for fun… I don’t have to go the traditional route. I could use cute stickers, or draw a little something special… if you want.”
Isabella’s voice…
…I can’t tell if it’s manipulative for some reason, but… It’s so soft, so… It’s so…
It’s just like how she sounded when we first met her.
“I… I’m okay with something as an, an accessory like you said, but I don’t want my face to be covered in make-up…”
“Of course, of course.”
She begins to push Chloe out of the room.
“Besides, you weren’t going to change in front of these perverts, were you..? Come with me for a sec, we’ll be right back.”
“Aaaaahh… Okay!”
Aaaand… there they go.
“…”
“…”
“…First off, well, that was unexpected. Second off, do I count as one of the perverts?”
“I uh, I dunno…”
“But it was unexpected, huh.”
“Didn’t you imply she’s exceptionally slow at doing her make-up..?”
“No, I don’t think the process itself is particularly slow. It’s just uh… other things.”
…
We still end up standing in silence like three confused idiots for a little while.
Until…
“Ta-daaaa…”
Isabella opens the door, and forces Chloe inside the room.
“Yuss!”
…Gee. She is pretty.

Spoiler:

“It’s perfect!!!”
She’s cute… I think I should keep it to myself.
“Don’t stare too much… She’s not into you.”
,,
“It’s okay… I’m… I’m embarrassed, but I’m also flattered.”
Chris sighs.
“You’re making me miss going out. I’ll have to force you to hang out with me when we’re out of here and we’ll make ourselves look like the baddest bitches in town.”
“The what..?”
I can’t tell if Isabella had to convince her or what, but she put on her a shade of lipstick that suits her surprisingly well. She’s wearing nowhere near as much make-up as Isabella does… or… well, I don’t want to think about her…
…She drew a small flower on her cheekbone, and it looks like she also made her wear white mascara. I think that’s all of it.
“Is that a common thing? Drawing things on people’s faces?”
Isabella glares at me—wait, no, actually, she looks mostly neutral.
“It was fairly big, I’d say… 5 years ago. Not so much now, but I don’t assume Chloe cares about trends.”
“No, I don’t…”
Chloe laughs nervously.
“...It was pretty cute, seeing her fall for stuff she saw lying around.”
Isabella’s in a good mood… it’s hard to believe, but it’s undeniable.
“So you chose your own colours, huh?”
“Yes…”
“We tried two lipsticks, but this one’s just perfect, isn’t it?”
“It is. It’s a good colour on you.”
“Thank you…”
Visibly embarrassed, Chloe is slouching slightly. But Isabella is making it sound like she had some fun with it—and I can only imagine that she’s happy to see her in such high spirits.
“This is a bit different from what you wear, Isabella, so I’m wondering… do you do what you want too, or do you follow trends?”
Again, she glares at me—
Ah, no, she doesn’t. But I’m just not used to it anymore..!
“A little bit of both… I usually try whatever’s trendy at least once, to see if I like it.”
“That… sounds logical.”
I guess.
“So, uhm… What is it that you wear currently that is trendy?”
ShE’s EvEn CuTeR tHaN uSuAL—
“Hmm… Well, this has been going strong for a little while…”
Speaking in a soft voice, almost too silent, Isabella taps her eyelid very lightly.
“Cream eyeshadow is in style. Wearing a thick layer of a single pale colour is in good taste. When it comes to doing more original make-up, cream eyeshadow and clear cut lines are encouraged.”
Oh… That explains… What I’d sort of been seeing as a very basic make-up look that she wears.
“Glosses and sheer lipsticks have been trendy lately as well. But I’m getting bored of it, and I assume it will be short-lived.”
“Huh. But just those two things give a pretty clear idea of what kind of style is in fashion nowadays, as a whole.”
…Do they?
“I’ve seen that first one around. I’ve tried it too, but the first time when I used a pale colour, it looked really meh.”
“With your skin tone and features like yours… There is no doubt that you should use dark shades.”
Uhm. I
fear the power of Chris with dark eye make-up. On my
weak soul…
“...Pervert.”
“Huh? What?”
“Whaaaat?”
Oh God oh jeez. Oh jeez oh fuck. Oh Go
Ah..!
“Uhm, anyway, is that all that you wear because it’s fashionable?”
…Oh, Ciel jumped to my rescue!
But first off, I was thinking…
What are you doing at the door?

Isabella looks away, but her tone remains serene.
“Make-up wise… unless I have biases I’m yet unaware of… I believe so.”
“But make-up isn’t the only trend you follow, is it?”
“Ugh.”
Lois walks into the room with her arms crossed.
“Oh, uh, you were here?”
Possibly because I could hear her steps, it would appear as though I was the only one who noticed she was waiting by the door.
“...What do you mean?”
Though this is tame compared to her now usual, Isabella’s speech turns short. But why?
If it were just Chris, I would think…
“I’ve had a question for a while. A very contextual one.”
The make-up artist sighs.
“Shoot it.”
I don’t know who exactly is intimidating her, but Chloe absent-mindedly takes a few steps closer to Chris and Ciel.
“What’s the history behind your hairdo?”
“If you have something to say, just say it.”
Lois flips the back of her own hair, keeping one arm across her chest.
“Do you know what it’s called?”
“…It’s the Junko. It’s extremely fashionable.”
As though she didn’t get the clue, Isabella moves herself to practically hide behind Chloe—well, she places herself behind her.
“I know. It’s a good look on you as well.”
The taller girl narrows her eyes.
“Did you have something specific to ask about it, Lois..?”
Why is everyone so tense?
Whose fault is it?
“Do you genuinely not know of its origins, Isabella?”
“You’re right. I don’t.”
“Do we care?”
“I just don’t know whether we should.”
Lois inhales, then exhales, deeply.
“I’d just like to get this out of the way. You may not know it, but the Junko cut was named after an important character from Danganronpa.”
“Dangunwhat?”
“It’s that old game she talked about. With the Ultimates.”
“Uhm… But… Really..?”
“Didn’t you also say that it was the basis for this… “Killing Game” format?”
“Yes.”
Lois makes her way to the back of the room. When she walks by me, I hold my breath.
“And if you take a look here…”
She opens the chest, the one with the wigs… right, just like Isabella’s hair.
“Which would you rather believe?”
She takes a red wig out, and holds it at the tip of her index finger.
“That these are somehow related to Isabella… or to Junko?”
“I don’t know what you’re trying to imply, and I don’t care.”
“Why is that Junko character so important?”
“Y-Yes, if you want to talk about it… Why not?”
“Hm? What do you mean by that?”
“Uhm… Well, we were confused by Lois, but maybe she just wants to talk about this character’s significance.”
“…Sure.”
She puts the wig back in its place and closes the chest, before sitting on top of it.
“Why did it have to involve me?”
“It would be difficult for a Danganronpa fan to ignore your similarities to her.”
“W-What? Is there something else than her hair?”
“Pff, this is just embarrassing.”
Chris spins on her foot and walks right into a row of clothes, in the middle of the room.
“If you’re looking for me, I’ll be searching for outfit ideas or some shit.”
“...And you might not notice it, but you’ll find clothes taken directly from Danganronpa characters in here.”
“…Well, I don’t care.”
“H-Hey, don’t tell me that’s the case for the outfit we made Chloe wear.”
“This? No, not that I’m aware of.”
“I guess that’s a relief?”
“But she doesn’t know for sure?”
“As for Isabella… her hair would be the main thing. Some could even say that’s it, but…”
Lois tilts her head slightly to the right.
“Something about the way she stands… and emotes… it’s not as extreme, but for some reason, there’s something here.”
“…You don’t have to look at me.”
Isabella sounds frustrated.
“Yet it’s interesting. Do you feel as though… something about you changed, since you got here?”
“Huh?”
Her face turns pink, and this time, she actually places herself behind Chloe in a way so as to use her as a shield.
“Of course… Are you trying to mess with me?”
“…Maybe you’re not ready to talk about it yet.”
Lois looks away, her attitude almost dismissive.
“If I may, you didn’t answer my question.”
“Hm? Ah, right, about Junko.”
I think… as she turns her head, she glances at me. But she probably has no reason to, so…
“Well, she’s the big villain.”
“Ah.”
“A-Ah? But if that’s so, why would we dedicate a popular haircut to her?”
Lois chuckles.
“Because she’s iconic, that’s why.”
“Iconic enough for her style to survive all these years later, huh.”
“Right. Nowadays, wanting to wear this hairdo has nothing to do with liking villains anymore.”
“Your point being?”
“Heh, I thought you were busy looking for clothes.”
“Still bored.”
“Let’s say… I figured it would be more appropriate, in our current context, to make Isabella aware of it.”
“Oh, uh, that sounds nice.”
“Well, I don’t plan on changing it.”
“I never claimed you should.”
Lois stands up.
“I’ll leave you alone.”
“We could find you a cute outfit too, if you’d like.”
“Hah?”
She laughs.
“No, thanks. I’m supposed to match with someone.”
“Match..? What does that mean?”
Lois makes her way through the room, brushing against me as she passes me. Before exiting, she turns around, twirling her necklace against her finger.
“Just something that I’m using as an excuse. Don’t worry about it.”
She leaves with a vague smile.
…
Ciel taps my arm strongly.
“You still breathing or???”
“…Huh? What?”
“Hehe, Neo didn’t say a word the whole time she was here.”
“I… What? I didn’t?”
“Oh, sweetheart.”
“Huh. Even Isabella’s making fun of ya.”
Chris comes back from in-between the rows of clothes. I don’t think she was actually looking for anything.
“I j—I didn’t have anything to say, is all.”
It’s true!
“Yeah, I’ll bet.”
What’s this supposed to mean..? Actually, I don’t want to talk about it. I’ll try to change the subject.
“A-Anyway… We, we were here to make Chloe try this thing on. So, do you like it after all?”
“What..? Oh, uh, of course.”
She blushes. Isabella is still holding onto her shoulders, but she is visibly less tense, and the two of them look cute this way.
“I wouldn’t wear something with so much white in my everyday life… But… It’s innocent looking… I think it’s flattering that you thought of me for it.”
“Yuss!”
…Aaaaaah. Ciel knows perfectly well that this was his find. Seeing him get so enthusiastic about it is even better than Chloe just wearing it.
“So, are you gonna keep wearing it?”
“Whaaa—Uhm… Aaah, now that I’m wearing it, I guess I’ll keep it on for the day.”
“Yes! It’ll be your official OOTD!”
“Though I don’t know if I’ll keep this make-… my official what?”
“Oh, you’re not going to remove my hard work right away, are you?”
“Aaah… Uuuuh…”
“She sure got good at guilt-tripping her,” Ciel whispers.
“Yeah, I don’t know when that occurred.”
“And here I thought you liked it…”
“I, I do! I just don’t think I’ll be able to remove it by myself tonight, so I should probably ask for your help right away…”
“Oooh, that’s no problem at all.”
First-day Isabella is coming back again.
“I’ll help you pick a make-up remover from the other room.”
She grabs Chloe by the chin—who blushes immensely.
“Your skin is quite clear, but you spend a lot of time in the sun… I don’t think it’ll be difficult to find your perfect match. Come on.”
As soon as she finishes that sentence, she grabs her by the hand to lead her to the next room.
“O-Okay, if you say so!”
…Bye, I guess?
“Ahem…Gay…”
“You think so? I don’t think they’re into each other like that. At least I hope not. I don’t want to be the third wheel again.”
“Again..?”
“…Ah, shit, forget about it.”
She shrugs, and takes a few steps towards the exit.
“I’ll try to keep up with them. You staying with us?”
I look at Ciel. Are we?
“Uuuh, let me take a quick look…”
He grabs his handbook, and I think he looks at the time.
“Woah, how did we take so long? I thought… I bet it was that flower.”
“That sounds like an excuse to book it.”
“Haha… No…”
Putting his handbook back inside his pocket, Ciel looks at me and smiles. For some reason, he appears a tiny bit nervous.
“I just want to make sure I check something out before night-time. But you can stay with the girls, if you want, Neo.”
“What? No, I’m not leaving you alone…”
“You did that one time.” “You did that one time.”
“…Jeez.”
“Okay, though, I like it better that way.”
He catches up to Chris. Looks like all I have to do is to follow him.
“Thanks for partaking in our propaganda, though.”
“Pff…”
Chris chuckles.
“I owed you one, so.”
“Hmm? Oh… seriously?”
We walk into the hall together, stopping in front of the Make-up room.
“You don’t have to worry about that. We’re in this together.”
“Haaa…”
I wonder if they’re talking about… the first trial, still.
Even as more dramatic events unfold, it’s hard to forget what came before it.
“Yeah, I guess that also applies to finding some entertainment in here.”
“Was dressing Chloe up the entertainment here?”
I think I already know the answer to my own question. She exhales sharply.
“It really gets boring.”
She punctuates that sentence with a sigh, and steps closer to the Make-up room.
“Which leaves room for overthinking, which is bad. You know what I mean.”
“Yes.”
“…Yeah.”
“I guess what I mean is, hit me up if you get any more evil ideas. I’m bored outta my mind.”
“Okay! I’ll come up with more evil stuff!”
Chris looks at the both of us with a smile before heading in, and as always, Ciel chuckles to himself for a little too long.
“Heh… Anyway… Let’s go.”
“Where are we going?”
“…I’m not sure.”
He grabs my hand to lead me towards the stairs.
“After we talked to Mina… I’d like to check on Oscar. Get an idea what he’s planning.”
“Oh… Do you still think we have to keep ourselves involved?”
We spend a minute standing mid-way in-between the two flights of stairs.
Ciel grimaces.
“I don’t know, I’m just… a little bit concerned.”
“That’s okay, we can talk to him if you want.”
Though his eyebrows remain arched, he nods.
“Yeah, it can’t hurt. That being said, I don’t know where he is.”
“Urgh. If we have to look everywhere for him, I’ll feel like a stalker.”
“Aren’t you?”
“What?”
Ignoring my reaction, he grabs me by the hand again, this time leading me up the stairs.
“Let’s start with the new rooms. Maybe that’d attract him.”
Is that really a good reason..? Not that it changes anything, if we are going to look everywhere anyway.

We peek inside the music room, but no one’s in there. To be honest, loud as the piano is, if Jan had been practicing, I could have told from a long way away.
I let Ciel peek inside the hospital room, not that he’d have any reason to spend time in there…
We end up finding him inside the new exercise equipment room… or whatever we’re calling it… doesn’t matter, because…

“Gulp.”
“Oh wow.”
Lying on the floor shirtless, Oscar is effortlessly lifting monstrous-looking weights. He lifts them over and over at surprising speed – until he notices us, that is, and stands up smoothly.
“… Give me a sec.”
Reassuringly… he looks out of breath. Still, it’s with seemingly no effort that he puts the weights back in their original place.
“Uh, sorry to interrupt you.”
“It’s okay.”
When he turns to face us fully, I can’t help but stare at his body.
He’s like… a beast. His arms are massive, that much I already knew, but the definition of his muscles makes him look even more intimidating. Not very noticeably hairy, and with a clear-cut V-shape, he almost looks like… more of a model than a bodyguard.
I know I don’t remember much, but I can’t imagine having met anyone this big before. As I try to bring my attention back to his face, I also notice a small, sun-shaped tattoo on one of his pecs… Unless those scattered dots are meant to represent something else.
“No, really, though. I was wondering if we could have a talk, but if you’re busy…”
“No… I’m not.”
Parts of his skin turn slightly red as the blood rushes back through his body, and his accelerated breathing makes it difficult not to focus on all the bulging shapes that make up his buil—
Ciel punches me in the arm. Again.
“Oww!”
“It looks like you are.”
“No. I’m trying to spend the time, because I have nothing to do.”
“Oh. I think we have different pass-times.”
“It’s okay.”
Gee, thanks for reassuring us…
“At least I’m picking up on my training. But without Mina, I’m very bored.”
“Oh? Really?”
Ciel nods. He’s making a serious face—still, I think he’s satisfied that Oscar brought it up.
“Thanks for this time thinking about it, I realised that I was very dumb.”
“You’re going that far..?”
I feel like an idiot, standing here in front of the door. That machine Akiro called a weight machine, I can sit on it, right?
“Yes.”
“Hmm… Well, I’m curious about how you feel about it.”
“Okay.”
Yeah, I can fit here. I turn myself in Ciel and Oscar’s direction, and…
…
My eyes follow him as he walks up to the wall, to lean against it.
“It’s nice of you to worry about it. Since you get along with Mina, maybe you could help me.”
I didn’t realise… I didn’t consider… That there were so many different muscles back there…
“Tell me about it first.”
Ciel takes a few steps towards the middle of the room, but remains stood up.
“I realised that I really got heated. I was mad too. I wasn’t looking at it fairly.”
“Ooh...”
Oscar marks a short pause. I don’t know if I should say something, but it sounds like this is going in a good direction.
“Even though I thought I was fair, I made a mistake. So I understand why I need to say sorry.”
“That sounds good!”
“Y-Yeah…”
“Especially now, I realise that I miss my friend. Maybe I learned something from this.”
“So you’re… already ready to patch things up?”
“Yes. But I have never apologised before.”
“Oh, is that why you need our help?”
He turns his head to look at me, and I pretend that I’m not intimidated.
“Yes. If you can.”
“If, If that’s the case, then you have to promise something.”
“Yes?”
Ciel swallows his spit. I’m not exactly sure what he’s nervous about…
“If Mina doesn’t accept your apology, you have to accept that.”
Oscar stares at him for a few seconds – blankly.
Blankly, but still, his thought process is surprisingly thorough.
“…That would be a sad outcome.”
“Yes, but still.”
The bodyguard nods.
“I don’t see what I would do other than accept it. So yes.”
“…Okay. Then we’ll help you.”
“Oh, okay.”
Again, I can’t tell exactly why Ciel was so worried about this specifically. It could be that he’s taking Mina’s statement from earlier very seriously.
Maybe he’s right. I don’t know.
“Thank you.”
“What do you need, exactly?”
“I don’t know how to conduct an apology.”
That’s… vague.
“First, I don’t know when to do it. Because she avoids me.”
“Oh.”
But I guess he read our thoughts.
“Maybe we could tell her about it in advance. At least that’d tell you if she’s even willing to listen to you at all.”
“Ah. Maybe.”
“Hmm… Like tell her that Oscar is planning to apologise, straight up? That’s… a fair route.”
“But Mina would not sleep at night if she knew that.”
“What?”
“For example, if you tell her now, but I apologise tomorrow. She would not stop thinking about it. So maybe, if you tell her now, I need to apologise now.”
Ciel sighs.
“I don’t know if she wants to see your face right now, though.”
Oscar nods. This doesn’t look to hurt his feelings.
…But how could I tell?
“Then we can try tomorrow. And I’ll talk to her during the day.”
“Okay… I guess that’s worth a try.”
“So that’s decided?”
“Yes. But I still don’t know what to say.”
“Hmm... What are you thinking?”
Oscar takes a few seconds to reply.
“I don’t know. All I want to say is, I want to be friends again.”
Aww, that’s kinda cute. But it just makes Ciel sigh again.
“Okay… We’ll work through it.”

We ended up spending quite a lot of time discussing the best ways to start and conduct an apology.
Though Oscar’s responses are usually short, there was no doubt that he was involving himself in the conversation.
Eventually, we agreed on something that would make use of his simple, dry sincerity.

“If you feel comfortable with this, I don’t think we should get involved much more…”
Ciel relaxed gradually as the conversation went on.
“Yes. But now I’m the one who’s not going to sleep at night.”
The two of us chuckle.
“Aaah, well, that’s your one punishment, I guess.”
“True. This is my responsibility.”
Ciel nods, and we stay silent for a few uncomfortable minutes.
It would appear that we’ve ran the topic dry.
“…Time to leave you to your training, then.”
Ciel was probably just thinking of our escape plan.
“Ah, yes.”
Almost like a robot, Oscar turns in the direction of the weights he had initially been using. Surprisingly, though, he stops himself before reaching them.
“Oh. I’m very sorry.”
“Hm? About what?”
He turns his head, without the rest of his body, to Ciel.
“You said earlier that you were uncomfortable with shirtless people. I should have put my shirt on.”
“Oh!”
Ciel shoots me a nervous glance.
“Uhm… Ah, well, you’re lucky I guess, because I hadn’t been paying attention. D-Don’t worry about it.”
“I’m relieved, but I’ll be careful the next time. I should respect this kind of stuff.”
“Th-Thank you very much.”
…If not for Ciel’s sake, I still have more than one reason to help him get away from this situation.
“Let’s go before you start paying too much attention.”
“Y…Yeah!”
“Ah, sorry again.”
“No, its okay! See you later!”
Ciel leaves in a rush, and I smile awkwardly at Oscar before following him.
Oscar doesn’t emote at all, of course, but I’m starting to mind it less and less.

We walk away in silence.  Once we get to the first… ground… damn it.
Once we get to the lowest floor, Ciel stops, and lets out a long sigh.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s just…”
He looks all around us before continuing:
“Do you think this is okay?”
“W-What? Oscar apologising?”
He grimaces.
“I guess… When you put it like that, it sounds so innocent.”
“But..?”
“I just... I don’t know, I’m dumb.”
He shrugs.
“I believe in Mina, even if her claims sound a bit out there. I can’t not trust her.”
I feel a bit… bad, hearing him be so hesitant about this.
“But… I need to grow up.”
“Grow… why?”
He chuckles, but it’s not one of these long laughs he’s specialised in.
“Before these horrible things happened, I was… too close-minded, I guess, and I didn’t give enough of a chance to people like… Emily, Andi… or even your favourite lady, Lois.”
…I’ll ignore that last part for now.
“I thought it was okay to let myself think that some people were just annoying, to dismiss them somewhat… but I was so wrong.”
I feel my cheeks becoming red.
“I don’t think you did anything wrong.”
“N... It’s not that… It’s just… I want to give Oscar a chance. Like, obviously I like Mina more than him, but I’m in no position to dismiss him.”
I don’t know what to say… Somehow, it hadn’t crossed my mind that Ciel had favourites.
But… it’s not like I don’t. Even beside Ciel… I have people I focus more of my attention onto than others. But what causes that?
“…What I mean to say is… I can’t wait to see Oscar’s apology, whatever the outcome. It’ll make me feel kind of proud of myself for… trying in my own way.”
“Huh.”
Honestly, I don’t understand what he means exactly, but…
“That just means we’re looking forward to tomorrow, then, huh?”
Once again, he chuckles nervously.
“Doesn’t happen often around these parts.”
“…Damn, you’re negative tonight.”
“Ugh…”
He stretches, and gestures towards the exit with his head.
“You’re riiiiight… Let’s just go back to our rooms before I turn into a sad clown.”
“Can that happen..?”
“C’mon.”
He walks out, and not knowing what to say as usual, I follow him in silence.

It’s not exactly super late when we reach the dorms, but without Ciel around, it’ll probably be better if I stay inside my room as well.
…I’m a bit hungry, but I need to keep my priorities straight.
“It’ll be okay.”
“Hmm?”
Standing in front of his room, Ciel opens his mouth to say something, but is interrupted by the sound of another door opening.
We’re both surprised to see Mina walking out of her room.
“Oh?”
“Ah, heading in for the night?”
“…Yeah.”
There’s no doubt that he’s glad to see her. His shoulders become a lot more relaxed, and he smiles.
“I’m the one who’s tired, and Neo is nice, so he’s not complaining about it.”
“…Ha.”
Is that me being nice? I didn’t really think about it this way.
“Meh. The most of us tend to go to sleep early, I’ve noticed. There’s something exhausting about just being here.”
Something about hearing this from the Ultimate Detective is particularly depressing.
“What about you, then?”
“Hmm…”
Mina crosses her arms.
“Gonna grab a bite. If no one’s in the dining room, I’ll just come back to my room to eat. I’m not exactly done for the night.”
“You’re not done? What are you planning on doing?”
“Pff…”
For whatever reason, she sounds annoyed. Nothing too different from usual, though, so I can’t tell how much of it could be due to her fight with Oscar…
…Though maybe I’m biased because we just talked to him.
“I’m not planning anything… It’s just… I guess now that I think about it, this has to be done.”
“Uuuuh…”
“What is it? Do you need any help?”
“No, no… I won’t bother you at night. Besides…”
She sighs once more.
“…I feel bad for joking that you’re a baby, when I’ve been nothing but childish this entire time.”
“Wha—Where’s that coming from?”
“Y-Yeah, what he said..?”
“Whatever. You know the motive is still going on, right?”
“Yes..?”
“We need to talk to everybody tomorrow. To guarantee no one takes a dumb decision.”
“Oh. I… didn’t even think about that.”
“Yeah, so…”
She marks a pause.
Is it just me, or is she looking a little pale?
“I don’t know if I should be more c… No, whatever. I need to be serious about this.”
“Again, what is it?”
Mina shakes her head.
“…The motive, I just told you. I let myself get caught up in… and I didn’t… so it’s important that I get everything back in order.”
“It makes sense that you’d worry about that…”
“We’ll be right there with you, okay? So… At least you know that for sure.”
She nods.
“I know… Thank you.”
Sighing, she takes a few steps towards the outside.
“For everything.”
“…I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”
She manages to let out one of her snarky chuckles.
“Yeah, that’s why I’m the detective here. Stick to your part of the job.”
“My job is to inflate balloons.”
Your job is slightly different every time you mention it.
“Yeah, I can tell!”
She laughs some more.
“…See you tomorrow. I’ll even hire Neo to make a compelling speech.”
“Oh? Uh, okay. Whatever you say.”
Damn, I made it sound like I didn’t want to help. I was just surprised she even mentioned me at all.
“Nice. See ya.”
“Y-Yeah, see you.”
Nodding to herself, Mina leaves the dorms.
I turn back to Ciel… not expecting him to look this worried.
“…Are you still unsure about the apology?” I whisper.
“N-No…”
He pauses for a few seconds before shaking his head.
“I’m just letting her stress levels get to me too much. Maybe that’s my problem.”
“Oh yeah, I understand that.”
“Pff, that’s right.”
But now I feel like he’s making fun of me.
“If this continues, the three of us will be crying all day tomorrow and we won’t be able to talk to anyone.”
“That’s... a bleak estimation of our progression.”
He laughs...
“I’m not risking it. I’ll go to bed right now.”
“Sheesh... Good night.”
“Yeah! Good night!”
He opens the door behind him, and I watch him walk into his room.
“…You heard the lady. Stay safe.”
“…Yeah.”
He sticks his tongue out, smiling one last time before closing the door.
“You too…”
I said it a little too late, but hearing him say that did get to me a little bit.
…But he doesn’t want me to spend the day crying tomorrow, so I’ll do the same as him, and just sleep for now.

That’s it. It’s all I do. Sleep.
In fact, I fall asleep very quickly, and this night, I don’t remember dreaming.

…
But I have to wonder if I rested well at all. When I woke up, it felt almost like I’d just gone to sleep, and nothing had happened yet.
But blurry as my vision was… I checked the time, and it was early in the morning.
What is my sleep schedule even?
My thoughts keep drifting…
I end up wondering about who I even am.
I mean, I’m Neo Devin, the Ultimate Voice Actor. And I know I have some memories from my life. From different stages of it.
I didn’t realise right away that some good chunks were missing. I don’t remember my parents, or any part of my family for that matter. In my head, I can visualise colleagues, but… there’s something vague about them. And I don’t think they’re my friends.
Aside from work… What have I been doing? And why did I forget it all?
What is it that gives me a personality? Do I even… have one?
When I first arrived here, I felt optimistic about everything, so I accepted that that was who I was. I had known nothing else.
When it turned out that I was a depressed sack of shit, part of me figured, “oh, I guess that’s who I actually am”.
But put next to each other, these two things didn’t make sense. They still don’t. And when I look at the way I behave today, I’m…
Not sure.
I think I’m just…
“Pff… Good morning… Y’know. Riiiiise and shiiiine! Be your best self today! I know that’s not much, but still.”
…Going through the motions.

If that’s really who I am… It’s no surprise that I’m still doing just that. After the morning announcement, I head right into my bathroom to get ready.
Once I’m clean and fully clothed, I head outside, and directly to the dining room.

“Good morning!”
I’m greeted by a charming voice, and instantly feel a little better.
“Hi!”
“‘morning.”
“Who is it..?”
Sleepy as ever… Akiro forces his head up from inside his arms.
“Oh, uh, hi.”
He looks around with a confused look.
“Did Lois leave..?”
“Yes.”
“Uuuh, yeah, a while a—”
“I didn’t even notice…”
“Yeah, you were asleep.”
Jan looks fairly amused by Akiro’s usual morning shenanigans…
“…Lois was here?”
“Yes, she was up early.”
“Thankfully, I wasn’t planning on making anything special today…”
…Still, the breakfast table is fully laid out, with everything you could possibly want to eat in the morning.
“Yeah, well, we’re still just getting started.”
“Y-You’re up early too… right..?”
“I guess. I don’t know what my sleep schedule is even trying to do anymore.”
“I w… I wish I could listen to my, my natural sleep schedule…”
“Shush.”
Jan slides Akiro’s cup of coffee closer to him.
“Poor little angel.”
“Shush yourself…”
The Ultimate Writer grabs his cup, and… … I’m just going to look away before his head falls right in. He’s making me anxious.
I’ll be normal and grab myself a bowl of cereal, and some… uh… coffee or tea?
Tea sounds nice. I add a sugar cube in, and call that breakfast.
“Is that smell still bothering you?”
“Oh, no, that was just outside. And I didn’t say it bothered me…”
“Right, you just couldn’t tell what it was.”
A smell? What are they talking about? I didn’t notice anything.
But with it being so early in the morning, and seeing them talk among one another… I don’t feel like intruding.
“…Akiro.”
He fell asleep again.
…
“Akirooooo…”
…
“Akiro?”
“Huh? What? What’s, what’s up?”
“You were asleep.”
“Oh jeez…”
“If you want to go back to bed, you can just tell us, you know.”
Akiro doesn’t even reply.
It doesn’t take long before I’m done with my breakfast. I spend about a minute washing my dishes, and head back into the dining room.
“…Something light, easy to eat.”
“Most vegetables do the trick right?”
“Why..?”
“Huh?”
“Why are you looking for something light… today specifically?”
“Hm.”
Clearly, I have no idea what they’re talking about. I don’t want to bother them, when I’ve already been in their way enough. I’ll try to do something else for now… I know I’ll see all three of them again at lunchtime.
“Uuuh… Yes to vegetables, of course. And I was just thinking that Mina told us she needed time…”
Alice notices me, about to leave. She tilts her head with a curious look, but I don’t want to interrupt them—I smile and wave before closing the door discreetly behind me.
Aaaand… where to now?
Since they said… I could… is that okay?
…
I can, right?
I’ll just look for Lois.

Something feels… grim… about the school being so empty. Part of me regrets not spending more time with the trio, but…
After looking through what feels like too many rooms, I end up finding Lois inside the library.
“Oh, Neo.”
She’s standing alone in the middle of the room, holding a book, which she slaps shut as soon as she notices me.
She looks actually surprised to see me.
“…Hey, uh… Alice and co told me you were around, so I was looking for you.”
“Why?”
…
“I was just wondering what you were doing, by yourself.”
“…The usual.”
I can’t tell what she’s thinking at all.
“What are you uh… reading?”
She hesitates for an uncomfortably long time…
But eventually shows me the cover.
It’s one of Emily Louis’ books.
“Oh. I’m surprised you heard me coming, then. There’s something, uh… oddly captivating… about her writing. You know?”
She narrows her eyes. For some reason, she looks… almost… sad.
“…I know.”
“What uh, drew you to it?”
I need to stop hesitating so much…
“I just wonder… why they were… like this.”
“Like…”
“Like Benjamin said.”
“The… weird organisation thing?”
“Yes…”
I sigh… and immediately wish I didn’t. Her voice is telling, something is making her sad, but I don’t know what it is.
Could it be… him?
I grimace. If that’s so… Regardless of what I think, I’ll respect her feelings.
“Why does it have to be… these..?”
I didn’t expect her to say something else. Maybe… I should take the opportunity to talk to her about something else, sort of. Someone else, at least.
“I think the bears are just using Emily’s name to upset us, you know.”
She frowns.
“Uuuh… When we were looking through the new rooms, Jan said that.”
“Was there… another one of them?”
“N-No, actually, there was just… a note, in that hospital room.”
Somehow, she frowns even harder.
“And?”
“Well, it was just… signed “Emily”, as well. That’s why he said that.”
She looks at me with wide eyes.
“You’re… messing with me, aren’t you?”
“No..? I could show you, if you want.”
I… clearly said something wrong, but I have no idea what it was.
She sighs.
“Yes… I have to look at it.”
“Okay, then…”
I’m not exactly comfortable going back inside that creepy room, but… I don’t mind doing it for her.
…
Actually, I feel that extremely strongly.
If it’s for Lois, I don’t mind going back.
“Let’s go.”
“...”
I can hear her putting the book down on the table from behind me. When I walk out the room, I know she’s following me.
She walks next to me up the stairs.
“...But like I said, I don’t think it’s actually the Emily we know.”
“I don’t think that either.”
For some reason, she replied in an extremely low tone – almost whispering.
When we arrive upstairs…
“Oh no!”
I see something surprising, and almost forget about my nervousness from being around Lois.
“What is it?”
“We hung those yesterday…”
I don’t know what happened to it, but the sign we had put on the Music room’s door is on the floor. Arriving upstairs, I noticed it immediately. Lois follows me as I head towards it.
“It’s one of Mina’s signs, you can tell because it’s red. The ones Ciel made are all… uh… I don’t know how to describe them.”
“Ah?”
Could it be that she somehow didn’t notice them on every door? I guess I don’t know what I would have thought if I’d seen these random things appear everywhere one day.
Having grabbed it off the floor, I turn to the door to simply tape it back on.
“Ah, shit, it’s op…”

…

I accidentally push
I accidentally
I acci
I accidentally push
The
I
accidentally
push
the
door

“What’s wrong?”

I accidentally push the door open
And for some reason, I hear a distant scream
But…
In front of me…
Something…
Grotesque…


Something grotesque unfolds itself.
“No…”
Struck by shock, I…
Let out a scream so loud, it pierces even my own ears.

This is not real.
I know that for a fact, don’t I?
This is not real, and yet… I feel so…
sick.

Noise. Everything is just noise.
The staggering steps of a young adult, about my height, slightly lighter than me, behind us – noise.
“What’s going on?!”
“W-Wait..!”
“Gh..!”
So…
(A bell rings.)
“Oh shit. You’re never going to believe it. A body has been- seriously? Someone was killed? Wow. Time to go to the Music room, I guess. Hear me? DEAD BODY IN THE MUSIC ROOM!”
noisy.
“Wait, what?”
Three girls. I know them.
Why do they bother to get closer?
“Hah?!”
What use is there in walking in?
“N—Ciel!”
She runs.
“Ciel!—”
But someone grabs her.
“Stop, this looks dangerous!”
At least, that’s what I hear.
Because all I see is…

DESPAIR
DESPAIR
DESPAIR
DESPAIR
DESPAIR
DESPAIR

It’s so… overwhelming.

Nowhypleasestopstopstopstop
stop
Stop…”
Right… that is… my own voice.
“STOOOOO-OOOOOOPPP!”
Screaming once again, I fall to my knees.
Stop! Everything needs to stop!
Stop!
Stop!
Please—
“We… we need to cover them up...”
“Huh?”
It’s not that I didn’t know that, but… Still, I just now realise that everyone has joined us in the room already.
This early in the morning…
…What am I thinking?!
“Y-Yes, that’s ri—Someone… Oscar! Lend them your jacket..!”
“Ah… but…”
“Just do it… please!”
They’re saying that, because…
Right.
My eyes have been open, but I haven’t been looking.
Ciel is…
Who did this to him?
Why?
I don’t…
I don’t even understand…
What’s going on.
With his face buried deep inside his scarf, almost just staring at the floor, Oscar walks up to Ciel to cover him up with his jacket.
Like he’s in a rush, he removes himself right away, and runs to the door…
“Where are you going?”
Everyone is standing still… like an asshole.
Just like me.
That is… except for Oscar, rushing to the door… and Lois, who hesitatingly makes her way towards… towards…
What is she doing?
Why?
“I need to look for… I don’t care if…”
Oscar speaks out of breath, and Lois makes her way… behind… why?
“I need to make sure…”
“N—”
And suddenly…

There’s a
*click*.

“Lois? What’s going on?!”
“A—”

“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!”

It’s not just her scream. There’s a loud
noise.
“L—”
I wouldn’t know how to describe it.
I wouldn’t care to describe it.
A sound from hell.
Something
starts to
fall.
“LOIS! NO—”
From the floor, I
jump.
Like a beast, or something.
I don’t know.
I jump because
I can’t lose her now.
But even then…

It didn’t matter.

There was nothing I could do…
There was nothing I could do about the trap that had already been set up for us.

And even though I’m holding her

With a loud, horrible

horrible

noise

we are made the public to a grim reality.

Spoiler: