CHAPTER 1 · 3 · Scary

Chloe leads the way, and the door to the gymnasium is already open. We all enter, and it seems that almost everyone is already inside.
I immediately smile, reassured to see the group again, but am quickly taken by surprise as Alice runs towards us as soon as we enter.
“Alright guys, we’re getting stuck on the dumbest conversation ever here. Mina’s upset she can’t find who left a note telling us all to meet here, and we keep trying to brush it off but then it comes back and we all search for whoever did that. So, is it one of you?”
I immediately turn around to look at Akiro, and so do Ciel and Chloe. His cheeks quickly get a little red, and he glances around the room before he answers hesitantly:
“Uh… W-well, that was me. I left the note.”
“Aaaah! Finally!”
Mina, who was standing in the middle of the room, darts towards Akiro and seizes him for a few seconds before she says:
“Well, you got a very beautiful handwriting. That’s to be expected from the Ultimate Writer. BUT!”
And she turns around.
“Now I realize I must ask you all to write something on a piece of paper so that I can tell everyone’s handwriting! This is important for our security and-”
“Eeeh…”
“Nah, fuck it.”
“I think this would be too much trouble for no particular reason…”
“Yeah, Emily totally doesn’t want to do that!”
“Me neither, frankly.”
“What?!”
Mina looks at everyone in pure and utter shock, and soon clenches her fists.
“Don’t you realize-”
“It’s okay, little one, I will show you my handwriting.”
“But-“
She does not look as surprised as she looks angry, but she cuts herself off. She mutters some kind of sound, and walks towards a wall, seemingly to be alone.
“Hmpf.“
Oscar follows her anyway, and as I look at the others, I think that I had never seen so many people shrug at the exact same moment. They did not leave me time to say anything, but I truly did not want to bother writing something on whatever piece of paper I would not have with me anyway, and I may have ended up avoiding it too.
No one really seems to mind what happened, and some people start talking, or maybe continue the conversations they were already having. I look around and see Isabella and Emily laughing about something, Andi worryingly looking at Keith from one side of the room while he ostentatiously looks away from the other, Chloe, with Alice, already close to her, both trying to tell her something, Oscar trying to cheer up Mina while she stares at a wall, her arms crossed, and of course Ciel and Akiro… already chatting it up.
“So being the Ultimate Writer also means having a cool handwriting?”
“Hmm… Maybe?”
“You’re not even sure? Well, I guess we don’t always realize what’s due to our talent and what’s just, you know, our thing.”
“Yes, exactly.”
“’cause sometimes we just think it’s our personality, but it’s actually somewhat linked to our talent, yeah? Like pet peeves, for instance. I hate it when people draw a clown and they make it almost bald. Like we don’t try to have colourful, fluffy hair!”
“O-Oh, yes! I totally understand! It’s like, it’s like this new trend, writers who write a young character with an internal point of view, and always make them think their verbs fully instead of shortening them, like we do when we normally talk. They do that because they think it makes their teenager novel look like classical literature, but it really doesn’t, it makes it less realistic and I kinda hate it…”
Oh?
“What?”
I was listening, but it feels like I lost track of my own thoughts for a split second. I feel kind of weird… What happened to me?
”Haha! And you can’t help but think about it at least once a day, can you?”
“No I can’t, it’s… it’s so dumb..!”
”I dunno if it’s an Ultimate thing or if just everyone has these about their hobbies.”
I can’t help but smile while I listen to their conversation. It’s actually pretty fun, and it’s relieving to hear some of us get along no matter how stressful the situation is. I guess it’s the power of youth – or maybe they’re all just good people, and it’s easy for them to talk – I think as I glance at Keith, his foot still tainted by blood, looking angry more than lonely, against his wall. I can’t help but look at Andi again, and it seems she’s having fun now, chatting with Chloe and Alice. I finally turn around to look at the door, thinking that it’s funny that everyone should trust everyone to come in here, and suddenly Jan enters.
“Hey, why wasn’t he in here already?”
He notices that I’m looking at him and walks towards me. I hear Ciel and Akiro’s conversation stop as soon as he approaches.
“Hey again. It looks like you’re all having fun, can I join in?”
I giggle.
“Is that really all you’re concerned about?”
He smiles in turn, not that he wasn’t already smiling. As always, he gives off this very calm aura, that doesn’t seem to disappear whatever he is expressing or feeling.
“Not really. They actually sent me out to search for the others, and I’d like to tell them that I came back alone, but now that everyone’s just chatting, I don’t really feel like yelling, or interrupting in any kind of manner.”
He pauses.
“I really just don’t feel like it.”
”To be honest, I get you. I think I would have just turned away and pretended I was never there.”
I take a look at the others, and it seems that no one else has noticed Jan.
“I mean… Maybe if Alice notices you or something, she’ll ask you?”
“That’s what I was thinking. So I’ll just stand here, pretending not to look at her, waiting for her to look towards here and see me.”
“I’ve never seen anyone handle awkwardness so… un-awkwardly.”
“You… You’re just lazy… I-I know you could totally walk to her.”
Jan shrugs.
“Or maybe I just want to stay with you guys.”
Akiro’s cheeks quickly become red again, and he looks slightly away. I can’t help but smile, as he really is very cute. I’m sure most of us here feel kind of awkward, but he’s the most shy out of all of us, and for some silly reason, I think that’s adorable. I wouldn’t want to sound patronizing though, since he in no other way seems childish, so I try not to show it too much.
“R-right.”
Jan giggles.
“Alright, I’m just kidding. I’ll make the effort to go tell her. I just hate to play the homing pigeon.”
He doesn’t seem too mad for someone who’s forced to do something that he hates, and he starts to walk towards Alice – only to discover, at the same time we do, that she’s already walking towards him.
“Hey Jan, did you come back alone?”
Chloe and Andi follow her, and seeing as three people are moving, everyone else starts looking in our direction.
“Yeah. Chris and Noah were guarding that one room, but they’re refusing to move as long as we can’t confirm everyone’s in here. And unfortunately, I couldn’t find the others.”
“Apart from Lois, who else is missing?”
“That would be Benjamin.”
Mina has gotten closer, and her expression and tone go to show that she’s calmed down now.
“Oh, you’re right… I haven’t seen him in a while…”
The whole room goes silent.
I dare not say a word. I know what they’re all thinking. And I refuse to believe it.
“Keith has blood on his left foot!”
“Emily..!”
Keith hadn’t moved from his spot, and he jumps a little at the sound of his name. Everyone turns around to look at him, and he looks at his own foot, before clenching his fists and starting to look really annoyed.
“Oh, that doesn’t have anything to do with anything!”
I hear Andi’s voice, but rather than looking at her, I keep looking at Keith. He turns his head aggressively to look in her direction, and I wonder how much time there is left before he storms off again.
“That’s just my fault. There’s a bunch of blood samples in the infirmary next door, and I accidentally spilled some on his foot.”
I can’t help but turn my head around to look at her. Did she just… lie? She seems very calm about it, and she shrugs. I turn to Keith once again, who looks confused, and no one says anything for a few seconds, before he shrugs in turn.
“Yeah. She did that. But it’s fine. And yeah, it means I didn’t kill anyone, if that’s what you were wondering.”
He’s doing his best to sound calm, but I can tell that he’s still kind of mad, and mostly confused. I’m pretty sure anyone could tell that he’s in a bad mood anyway, and no one would be surprised. If it weren’t for the company of Ciel, I would be too.
“Oh okay theeeen! Emily is sorry she doubted you! She’s glad we got that worked ouuut!”
Emily doesn’t sound bothered.
“Well, that sounds interesting anyway. So you found blood in the infirmary, right? How about we all tell everyone what we uncovered?”
“But what about Chris and Noah? And Benjamin?”
“And Lois…”
“We’ll keep them up to date when we find them. We’re almost all here and we’re done searching the place, not sharing anything would be a waste of time, wouldn’t it?”
“You’re right. I’ll go tell them as soon as we’re done.”
“So Andi, is there anything else you found? And Keith, too?”
And we all start sharing. Andi and Keith found blood, the most basic of medications, and that’s all. Emily and Isabella only found stuff we already knew about… So did Jan and Alice… So did Akiro and Chloe… So did Ciel and I.
So did Oscar and Mina.
“Then, if we can’t destroy anything…”
She pauses for a second, visibly upset, but trying to stay calm.
“… then it means there’s no exit.”
No one’s chatting with anyone anymore. It took us a few minutes to say what we saw, but we actually didn’t see anything in particular, other than that we’re trapped inside a painted dome. And that there’s no exit.
And that still, for some strange reason, we could not find Benjamin and Lois.
My shoulders feel heavy, and that must be the atmosphere in this room. No one, not even Emily or Alice, manages to force a smile and pretend anything’s fine. We’re all trapped within this school, and some weird bear wants us to kill each other. And gave us weapons. It gave us weapons.
“But I could destroy the doors… If one’s the exit, then we’ll just run away as quick as we can. I’ll protect everyone.”
No one has the time to answer – quicker and more stealthily than our cute fashionista could have, Monokuma shows up and jumps in the middle of our group.
“Nu-huh! You don’t want to do that! I’ll destroy you!”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Oh, really? Then ask, uuuuh…”
Monokuma turns around, looking at each of us in turn, not looking happy at what he sees. He still ends up looking at Jan, and showing him with a movement of his mechanical paw.
“That guy!”
Jan is frowning, and he stares Monokuma dead in the eye.
“And why would I believe it more than the others? This is the first time I’ve ever heard of something like that happening in real life.”
“Huuuh… Bo-ring.”
Monokuma lazily sits on the floor and crosses his arms.
“Well, there’s no use anyway. I’m being serious here, there’s no exit. I wouldn’t want you to try something stupid and have to kill you so easily. That would be bo-ring.”
“N-no, that’s not true! There has to be an exit! It, it wouldn’t make sense that-”
“I’m a talking bear, what else don’t you expect?!”
Akiro suddenly turns completely pale. Monokuma stood up hastily, long, sharp claws appearing on the end of his paws, aggressively advancing in his direction.
But Oscar gets in the middle of them two, and stands in a protecting manner in front of Akiro, completely hiding him from the black and white bear.
“Do not hurt him.”
“Eh? I just said I wouldn’t kill y’all so easily, dumb ass. I just wanted to give you a scare. And it worked!”
I move a little to the side to look in Akiro’s direction, and he’s pale as ever, teeth clenched, wiping a tear as Chloe each holds him by the shoulder, hushing something, probably to reassure him. I stare at them for a few seconds. I’d probably be crying if a robo-bear suddenly tried to murder me with claws as long and sharp as Monokuma’s too, and I mean, actually crying. I’m sure of that – as I already want to cry and nothing has happened to me yet.
Yet, I say – and everything becomes kind of blurry.
I’m pretty sure Monokuma stays in the middle for a few more minutes, I hear conversations that I can’t quite make out, and then he’s just gone and I don’t know when he went away. And people are moving away, and I can’t really hear even my own thoughts.
I just feel… I don’t know. I feel…
“Neo?”
Ah… I could hear Ciel’s soft voice just now…
Well… I don’t think I’ve ever quite felt like that before. I’m such a positive guy, aren’t I… Everything’s always fine… Until… Until now…
“I don’t wanna die…”
I look up and I can see properly, but it’s giving me a headache. Ciel’s here, looking down and worried, everyone’s here, looking down and worried, and here I am…
Smiling.
“So I’m not gonna die.”
I don’t believe a word of what I’m saying.
“What are we doing? I wasn’t paying attention.”
“Uuuh… Uh… So most of us are going to the dorms. We figured we should each search our rooms, and even if there’s nothing, we could get some rest…”
“Ah, that’s a good idea. Let’s just do that, then.”
“Are you okay? You looked uh, really down right now.”
“Oh, it’s okay, I’m okay. Doesn’t everyone feel kinda down? I spaced out a little, but let’s go back to business. Going to the dorms sounds right.”
I feel like I’m out of breath from just saying all of this. I don’t even know what Ciel answers. I don’t even care. I just follow them, picking up some strands of conversations as I walk past the others.
“I’ll go to the dorms but then I’ll search for the others a little more…”

“… I said let’s go! I’m gonna find something, I said!”

“I’ll try to find them right away. The dorms are not going anywhere.”

Everything seems so slow. Soon we’re outside, but it doesn’t feel like outside anymore. And soon we’re in the dorms, and part of me thinks I should look around at least by curiosity since I’ve never been here before, but I’m just starring at the floor. The floor is all there is. And I advance slowly, following Ciel, who I think is not talking.
“Where’s your room, Neo? I saw mine right there.”
Oh, now they are.
I look up and blink a few times, because everything is all blurry again. I’m sure I’m doing a great job at looking unbothered. I don’t feel anything anyway. But searching for my room seems so tough, there are so many… All around me… My eyes stop on a group of people. Because I need to concentrate on something to wake up, if I want my brain to actually function.
It’s Akiro, Keith, Isabella and Emily. They’re all… They’re all very cute.
“You’re supposed to use your handbook to open the door!”
“B-but it opened on its own…”
“Maybe Monokuma didn’t close it correctly?”
clac, clac
“No, it just… Doesn’t lock. It closes but it’s never locked.”
“Oh no, that’s not lucky at all!”
“Ha, are you sure it’s your room? … Looks like it. Well, I guess I should be relieved I’m not the one to be out of luck this time. But I feel bad for you. That can’t… be safe…
“O-oh, no, no, no. It’ll be fine. I don’t see… Nothing’s going to happen. Whatever, really. Don’t worry about it.”
“Are you sure, Akiro? The rooms seem big enough, if you want, I could share mine with yours… You’d be safer this way.”
“Ah, uh… That’s really nice of you, but really, there’s no need to worry. I’ll be fine. It’s not like- uh, anyone else needs to know, right?”
I think they turn around to look at Ciel and I. Are we alone in here? Maybe we are.
“Hm-hm, Emily trusts everyone here! And she won’t tell anyone else! It’s a secret!”
“If you say so… You may be right. It’s best to trust each other. But if you change your mind, you can ask me anytime, you won’t have to stay in this open room.”
“Th-thank you! That’s really nice… But… Huh, yeah.”
I think I managed a smile, because my headache got even worse. They trust me, don’t they… It’s great… Do I trust them? Do I trust Ciel? Do I trust Akiro?
I don’t know anything anymore. But I want to lock my own door and never answer to anyone anymore.
“Did you find it?”
I look around very quickly. Yes. I just did. I nod.
“Alright, well, I hope our locks aren’t broken… Ahem… See you soon, Neo.”
I look at them right in the eyes and smile.
“See you soon!”
I feel emptier with every word I pronounce. What is it that I’m feeling? I don’t even understand. I’ve never… I’ve always been fine… This is just too much…
Ciel walks away, I hear a huge sound as Keith violently slams his door. He seemed fine… He seemed calm… Ha… So do I… I walk towards my room, hastily take my handbook out of my pocket and put it in front of the reader, and then I get in, and then I slam the door.
And without even looking at the room, I fall over pathetically, the same way Monokuma dramatically does sometimes, on what seems to be a bed.
And I stay still.

I slammed the door. Did I close everything as I slammed the door – I don’t care. Keith slammed the door. Lois slammed the door. Lois. Lois. Me. The door. Me. Dying. Monokuma. Monokuma attacking Akiro… Scary… Heavy… Claws… Dying… Lois… Dying… Lois… Dying… Why Lois… … … …
…

I’m not crazily hungry… I’m just a little hungry. I keep waking up, then falling back asleep, then waking up again, not knowing how much time has passed. Not that I’m thinking much. I don’t know what I’m hoping for, or what I’m trying to do, I’d say maybe I’m hoping time will pass without me and things will work out by themselves.
But they probably won’t.
I could stay here for days and days, on this random bed that’s not mine, that’s never been mine, and I ever so rarely wonder if I’ll survive not drinking or eating for so long. Though it may only have been a day, or even less. As much as it may have been four. I have no idea.
I can’t get up. I can’t bring myself to. I’m just too… I’m just too…
Sometimes it’s that I’m too tired.
Sometimes it’s that I’m too scared.
Sometimes it’s that I’m too ashamed…
Nothing about this makes any sense… I’ve never felt quite like this before. I think I heard knocking on my door multiple times, I couldn’t hear people talking though, and then it stopped. Every time, before I could even understand what was happening.
I barely even remember the situation I’m in. It’s bad, right? I don’t want to think about it. I can’t think about it. Wherever I am right now, I’m safe from whatever was endangering me.
I guess…
…
…
…
“Dude, I’m sad.”
…
“Huuuh?”
I think I heard a voice, but it sounded all weird. I can’t even tell whose it was. How weird for me to not recognize a voice…
…
“You’re making me sad, make an effort.”
… Makes no sense…
“Mr. Devin Neo, I order you to get up!”
“What?”
My upper body darted up and I answered in a startled tone, like I was suddenly pulled up by force. I blink a few times and try to look around, feeling tired, feeling weird, feeling terribly lost.
I’m inside a room I’ve never seen before. Memories fall back into place slowly, and piece by piece, I remember that I’m in my assigned room, inside of the dorms, trapped inside a dome called Hope’s Peak Academy. A shiver crawls down my spine as I force my stiff body to turn around and look in the direction of the voice I heard earlier.
“Benjamin..?”
And all of a sudden, I can remember people. Keith, who violently shut the door before I did. Ciel, who was probably expecting me to come back soon. Akiro, Isabella, Emily… It all comes back to me, and all of a sudden, I wonder how all these people are doing.
And suddenly again, two thoughts cross my mind at the exact same time-
Wasn’t Benjamin gone?
Is everyone alive?!
“Benjamin!”
“Ah, yes, no need to worry, I’m not going anywhere.”
“Huh…”
“So tell me, do you need anything? I got food and water.”
He shows me the satchel hanging on the right side of his body and opens it to show me its contents, which are indeed multiple small bottles of water, some bread and a few snacks.
“Huuh… Wa-Water…”
I sound like an old man who’s about to die.
“Here you go.”
He hands me a bottle, and I drink like I want to drown myself. The moment water gets in contact with my mouth, I realize how ridiculously thirsty I was. And before I started drinking, I really couldn’t tell..!
I down the whole bottle and sloppily put it on my bed, before I scratch my head and stretch my back. I still feel really tired, but I already feel a little bit more alive.
“Don’t you want any food? We got fast sugars, slow sugars, anything you may need.”
“I- No..!”
I look at Benjamin for a second. He seems particularly calm, like nothing particular has happened.
“F- First of all, what are doing in my room?!”
I struggle to speak, as I’m breathing heavily for some reason. I’m somewhat light headed, but I feel like I’m becoming “me” back again.
“Oh, I hoped you wouldn’t ask that question… Well…”
He looks around, seeming vaguely bothered.
“I actually can’t tell you…”
“Whaat?”
“But…”
He puts one hand on his hip, and the other in front of the lower half of his face. In an extravagant voice, he adds:
“BUT! I can tell yooouu who told me NOT to tell yooouu!”
I blink a few times. This was awful.
“…Voice acting lessons.”
He lowers his arms.
“This is exactly why one shouldn’t hang out with Ultimates.”
He quickly shrugs.
“Don’t you want to know, though?”
“I mean… I mean, sure?”
“It was…”
He starts inhaling as if he were going to pull the same pose and voice again, but he stops himself and continues in his usual uninterested tone.
“Lois.”
The sounds in my brain go something like “ijiorejthijtrojhijortohjoritmqgok”. Suddenly hyped up, I gasp and stiffen up.
“L-Lois? Where? Is she okay?!”
“Yeah... She said she’d rather see you later, as in, not yet, so I should better not tell you where she is at the moment… But she’s perfectly fine, if it reassures you.”
I hadn’t noticed my eyes were not completely open before.
“Of course it does! Oh, man, does she… Does she know..? Oh, I- I…”
I pause.
“Uuuuh…”
I look away, and he probably can’t tell, but I can feel my cheeks getting a little red. Thinking about Lois being there and being fine makes me want to smile, and I really can’t care about the fact that she doesn’t want to see me right now. I feel like an idiot, but I can’t help it. I’m just so, so glad that she’s okay, and that at least someone knows where she is. I don’t know why. I don’t understand why. I didn’t realize I felt that guilty about what happened with her. Would that be the reason for me getting depressed so quick..? No, it couldn’t be. I have so many other things to worry about…
“You’re a weirdo.”
“Huh..?”
I look at him again, and I suddenly remember…
“Oh my God, don’t tell me you can read my thoughts?!”
“What? Of course not! What the fu- You know what, I don’t even want to know what you were thinking about!”
“Wait, no, it’s not… I mean, I just wanted to know-”
“Heh, I don’t really care, actually.”
“O-Oh.”
He closes his satchel.
“Listen, Lois and I decided to go see those who were locking themselves up in their room to check if they were okay, and eventually help them out. You’re in way too much danger, you need to go out with the others.”
“Am I..? Wait, are there other people in the same case?”
The faces of all the people I’ve met in here come back to me, and imagining they could be feeling as bad as I was or hurting themselves in any shape or form makes me feel awful. Everyone here is so nice, no one deserves to suffer… It’s all this school’s… No, Monokuma’s fault, you can’t forget about this horrible bear!
“Yeah. I mean... it's actually just two of you... but that’s enough already. Before you ask me, the other one is Keith. Lois went to his room, like I am in yours.”
“But how do you even… Well, you won’t tell me. But…”
I don’t really know what to think.
“What… am I supposed to do…?”
“I don’t know, man. Take a shower, eat some bread or something… And then get out. I can assure you everyone will be happy to see you. You don’t have to hesitate.”
“Really..?”
“Everyone’s worried. They’re not going to judge you or something.”
I must not be able to hide that I’m doubting him, because he insists.
“Lois has been hiding, but I’ve been with the group already. I make the link between Lois and the others, believe it or not… You’ll probably learn more about it if you go out and ask them. I only have so much saliva to waste. Anyway, what was I saying..? Oh, yeah. They keep wondering how you two are doing, and Ciel’s been terribly anxious about you not coming back.”
“Oh… Ciel…”
“Listen…”
“N-No, it’s okay. I’ll get out of here. I mean, what else can I do? And I have to reassure the others. And we’re never gonna find a way out if we stay closed-in…”
He whispers.
“Oh, thank God.”
I don’t comment on it. I’m still struggling to keep my thoughts in order, a good shower and some food do sound like a good idea.
“I guess I’ll do that, then. I should take a shower before anything…”
“Ah, are you okay with me staying in your room while you take your shower? This way I’ll give you food if you’re hungry afterwards. And I since I can't let you see… ...”
“It’s okay.”
“As long as you don’t peep”, I almost said, but upon further inspection, that’s not funny.
I turn around, searching for the bathroom.
“It's right there, near the entrance. And you got some spare clothes in the closet, you may want to check that out.”