CHAPTER 2 VICTIM • BONUS FTE

Ciel’s asleep… No one’s available right now…
…Fiiiiiiine. I guess I’ll hang out with Benjamin today.

I walk up the stairs and into the library. Bingo…
*Slap!*
“…Hm?”
“Did I surprise you?”
Sitting at a table, Ben slapped a notebook shut the second I entered the room.
“N-no.”
I make my way towards him. A pen rolls on the surface on the table and stops against his hand.
He looks embarrassed. I guess he must not have been paying attention.
“What were you writing? Is this your diary?”
“…”
He replies by staring me down, clenching the notebook against his chest.
Jeez.
“You were writing something embarrassing, weren’t you?”
I’m not trying to be a bully, but he’s giving me no choice but to face the facts at hand. He acts weird enough usually already…
“N—”
“Was it about a secret crush?”
“N-no!”
…Well, I was joking, but… He blushes.
“What do you want from me?” he half-whispers.
Off to a bad start, are we?
“I was just looking to hang out…”
I grab a chair and sit next to him. He leans away from me. Rude.
“I’m not gonna try to read your diary or anything.”
“You better not.”
“Yeah..?”
“Is that a threat?”
He puts his diary down on his lap, and doesn’t say anything else.
I’m starting to regret coming here. But I’m a good boy. I’m nice. I’m patient. I can make an effort.
I don’t know what to talk about, but… I’ll find something.
I look at the table in front of us. There are bunches of books stacked at the corners, and in the dead middle, a couple of unlit candles.
“What are those doing here?”
“…I brought them.”
No sh— Zen.
“Why?”
Once again, he doesn’t respond.
“Oh, come on.”
He sighs.
“I found them in the storage room. They’re scented candles. I didn’t expect to find that kinda stuff in there. They make the space feel more personal.”
“Hmm, sure.”
I guess scented candles wouldn’t be very useful to us here. I push them with the tip of my finger, and read the labels. “Cherry” and “Hibiscus”.
Wouldn’t those stink?
“Why don’t you light them up, then?”
…
No reply.
I turn to look at him—huh, wait a second. Maybe that exaggerated grimace is his response.
“What? What is it?”
“Hmm... Pff…”
He shakes his head diagonally, from one side to the other.
“Ugh… I’m deathly afraid of fire…”
Oh.
“So… You don’t want to light them up.”
“Well…”
Another grimace.
…Seriously? That doesn’t make sense, does it?
“Hmm…”
He does look genuinely bummed, though.
I guess it can’t hurt to entertain such an innocent whim.
“I can do it for you, if that’s what you want.”
I back my chair up. I’ll probably find a lighter in the storage room, and if I don’t, I’m sure I’ll find a flamethrower in the weaponry room…
“I have one.”
“What?”
“Lighter.”
“O-Oh.”
He produces a shiny metallic lighter out of his pocket. It’s one of these big lighters with a cap. It looks expensive. He hesitates for a second before handing it to me… It’s heavy.
…It’s also covered in tape.
“I did that.”
He looks in the other direction.
Okay… whatever. I try to remove that tape…
…
… …
“What’s taking you so long?”
“H-hang on a sec, I just can’t find the end.”
“Pff…”
“What do you mean, “pff”?! I don’t have to do this!”
He turns in my direction again, and directs his hand towards the lighter, but doesn’t grab it. He stares at it for a sec, before pointing to a spot near one of the edges.
“Right there.”
“Hmpf.”
He’s right. I tug on the tape, and it comes off easily. What a stupid talent…
I lift the cap, and it produces a large flame. At that point, Benjamin is already looking away again.
Well, it doesn’t take long to light up both candles.
“Here, done. I closed the lighter.”
He turns in a snap, and takes it from my hand—forcefully, almost.
“…Thanks.”
He grabs the used tape from the table and sticks it around the lighter again, though I doubt it’ll stick as well as the first time…
After sliding it back into his pocket, he turns to look in front of him.
He stares at the candles, and for a while, he doesn’t say anything.
I don’t know what’s going through his head, but I see no good reason to force him to talk to me right now. His whole body is tense, and I’m not sure he even realises I’m still here.
As the candles start to melt, however, and as a strong scent fills up the room, his stance visibly relaxes.
He grabs his notebook from his lap to set it on the table, and puts his elbows down on either side of it, leaning slightly closer to the centre.
“Are you happy now?”
“Yes.”
Ah. His voice sounds very different from before.
It appears that he’s being sincere.
“What made you think you would like those in the first place?”
“I already know that I do.”
His focus is on the candles, but he’s answering a lot faster than he did before.
“…How did you find out that you like scented candles, if you’re so afraid of fire?”
“Nice catch.”
“What?”
He glances at me. Uh-oh, I don’t like that smile.
“I’m just saying that’s a sharp question, coming from you.”
“I f—fu—You—”
“Why am I ever nice to this guy?!”
“It’s a good question, that’s all.”
“Then answer it!”
“Fine, fine.”
He looks satisfied with himself enough…
“Here goes. My family always makes sure that I won’t have to encounter any fire. If we’re visiting somewhere, my parents make sure that there won’t be any candles, anyone who smokes, some sicko who uses incense to cover up the smell of shit in their toilet, anything like that. If one of my mom’s friends uses a gas stove, we’re not eating at their place.”
I feel like at least one of these examples was unnecessary.
“But one time, exceptionally, we ate at someone’s house, and they had forgotten to put out their scented candles. They thought them so innocent that they didn’t even think of them as something I’d have a problem with.”
As he speaks, he twirls a strand of his hair around his finger, to the point of tangling it. That reads as nervous to me, but his posture is definitely relaxed.
“I noticed right away, but I didn’t say anything. I was surprised to find out that I found them relaxing. I liked them.”
“Huh.”
It’s not a particularly grandiose anecdote, but it might have felt important to him…
I find myself looking at the candles as well. I mean, to me, they’re random as it gets.
“So it’s scented candles in particular you like?”
“Yeah...”
He leans in closer – but not too close.
“They’re not just fire for the sake of fire, they have an identity of their own. They don’t just smell like fire. Something about them… makes the fire… feel more in control. It’s… like… zen.”
Hm.
“So I guess they’re the kind of thing one would find in your room at home, now.”
“No.”
“Ah?”
He answered in a snap, in a panicky tone. He shakes his head.
“I’m still… too scared.”
“But…”
“You just saw that I can’t even light them on my own. What if I—What if something else catches on fire when I have my back turned? What if I forget to put them out when I leave and something falls on top of them..?”
“Wouldn’t you be able to see that coming..?”
“Hmm…”
He sighs.
“I want... I wish. I think that when I move out of my parents’ house, I’ll try having a space for them. I’d like that.”
Don’t tell me this is just about his room being too cluttered…
“And then you’ll have to overcome your fear of lighters, I guess.”
“Hmpf...”
Oof. Sounds like someone’s not ready.
He shakes his head violently, looking almost like he’s trying to shake off his grimace.
“Fuck that. I’ll just find someone to live with who’ll do it for me. Whatever.”
“Hmm.”
I nod.
Hmm. Curse my brain. Well, he’s the one who’s gonna think that…
“…Someone…”
I peek a glance beside his elbows.
“… Like that secret crush you were writing about?”
“Ffffff—”
Most likely feeling threatened, he grabs his notebook and places it against his chest once again.
“…You didn’t see that coming?”
“Why don’t you mind your own business?”
“Not my fault you’re too obvious.”
“…I didn’t even say anything.”
“It’s not Lois, is it?”
“No.”
“Don’t tell me it’s Ciel.”
“No, why the hell would you even suggest that?”
I did look grossed out by my own suggestion.
“Alice?”
“No.”
“What are you into? Is it Jan?”
“No! And I wouldn’t tell you anyway!”
“Pff. Since when are you the flustered type?”
“I—Do you think I don’t have feelings or something?!”
He blushes harder and harder. He’s clearly on edge. Pff…
“I didn’t think you were the type to get a crush on some random person in a situation like this one.”
“You’re one to talk!”
“What?”

…We argued until Ciel showed up and made us stop. Benjamin turned his back to me and mumbled something about me being a meanie or something—that’s rich!