CHAPTER 1 · 5 · Fabricated

We all ate, and it was delicious, and we all got along, and… It was just all nice. I chatted with Andi, Chris, and somehow Noah a little, and now that we’re all done, I’m finally getting out of the dining room, feeling so much better than when I first got out of my room.
… And I can’t go back there, right? I don’t know if there’s anything useful I can do, and while almost everyone has accepted me back, I still don’t really know what the others are generally up to… But the best I can do is join someone, isn’t it? Maybe ask them what I can do, or…
Or keep them company! I should totally go hang out with Ciel! They’ll probably tell me what I need to know, and I wouldn’t want to leave them alone all afternoon. Well, I definitely feel like chatting with them anyway, so I’m already climbing the stairs!
When I arrive upstairs, I see that they’re sitting against the door of the weaponry room. I get closer… Only to notice their eyes are closed.
And they haven’t noticed me.
“Emily would have expected Ciel to take their job a little more seriously!”
Their eyes open wide and they dart up.
“Wh-what? Where is she?!”
“Who, me?”
“N-No, not you-”
“Do you mean Emily?”
“Y-yeah, but… Where are you? Seriously- Don’t tell me you got in?!”
Ciel starts to turn around towards the closed door.
“No, no, don’t worry, I’m not in there!”
“Emily, this is not funny.”
“Aw well, I’m sorry.”
“What? But this has nothing to do with you..?”
“It does, actually.”
They stop and gasp.
“Did you just...?”
“Yep, I’m the one who said that!”
“A-A-A...”
“Sorry for messing with you, I just wanted to wake you up and exercise my capacity a little!”
“I wasn’t slee- Your capacity..?”
“Yeah, you know, as the Ultimate Voice Actor?”
“The Ultimate wha- so that’s your talent?!”
“You didn’t even know?!”
Now that I think about it… I think I haven’t told that many people my talent. Lois totally warned me about this..!
“Oh my God, you were totally just Emily right now… And her voice is so… Girly… Wow…”
“Ciel, I’m sorry I freaked you out like this! I thought you knew, so I figured maybe you’d understand it was me…”
“Like you just went from a guy’s voice to a girl’s so easily… It’s so cool…”
“Oh, well, thank you!”
Are they really so shocked? They’re talking to me, but not really paying attention to what I’m saying. I laugh a little bit nervously, unsure whether they’re upset or amazed.
“I wish I could do that too…”
“I’m sure you could learn!”
“What? Uuh, yeah, I guess, but I would never do it as well as you. You’re the Ultimate, after all.”
“Eh, you know, I don’t really believe in that.”
“What do you mean by that..? It’s just a fact, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, but… I’m just a good voice actor, you know? Like there are so many others. What would make me so special?”
They think about it for a second.
“They made you take the tests, right?”
“Yes, and they picked me in the end, but… Why pick me at first? Who knows if they didn’t just completely miss someone who’s very talented but doesn’t practice a lot?”
“But practice makes perfect, right? If they’re very talented but don’t practice, then they ain’t shit by comparison with someone who’s talented AND practices.”
“But if they start getting better as I’m already named the Ultimate..?”
“Some Ultimates get replaced.”
“What? Really?!”
“Yeah, I’ve seen it happen multiple times. Haven’t you..?”
“No, I… I don’t pay that much attention to Ultimates, I just like to live my life with those who happen to surround me and not care about the rest… But either way… That’s kinda sad, isn’t it?”
“Not really… I mean, some have seemed hurt by it, but generally they don’t care that much, they stay equally famous as they were before, if they were, and if I know it, it’s that they were.”
“Oh… Okay then. Then I guess maybe it’s not as unfair as I thought it was.”
“Yeah, plus like, if you don’t really believe in being the Ultimate, does it mean you don’t believe in my talent either?”
I look at them worriedly at first, but I see that they’re smiling, and they let out a giggle.
“Though I’ll admit it’s not very common or that easy to demonstrate without a proper setting.”
“Well I’m sure you’re amazing at what you do, for sure! I just… Don’t really know what it is that you do.”
“You know, balloon animals.”
“…Do we even have balloons here?”
“Maybe in the storage room? I haven’t checked. I haven’t really felt like making jokes and playing around either. Clearly, I can’t demonstrate my talent as easily as yours… I can make silly voices, but I’ll just sound silly.”
“That’s… Pretty fitting for a clown, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, but I’m pretty sure people will just think “Ciel is being silly”, and not “The Ultimate Clown is being silly”. We already have enough with Emily- and oh, by the way.”
“By the way?”
They shake their head.
“Please… Never do this again.”
I can’t help but laugh – they’re smiling, but they still look exasperated!
“Okay, it’s a promise!”
“Thanks. I don’t need twice as much of Emily than I already get in life.”
As they finish their sentence they laugh too, and I feel like we’re both a little nervous, but at the same time, messing around like this is helping us feel much better.
We continue chatting, talking about how Emily is silly enough and how maybe she could be a good clown too, discussing talents and Ultimates a little more, and saying hi to anyone who passes by – and it has been four hours when Jan shows up and comes towards us.
“Oh, is it 6 already?”
“Yes, but if you want to stay here a little longer, I won’t take that away from you.”
“Good idea, let’s not do that.”
“What’s happening?”
“It’s just Jan’s turn to keep guard of the room. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to stay in one place forever!”
“Oooh- Oooh, of course! But are you gonna stay here the whole night? Won’t you be too tired?”
“I’ll be here until 6am. I’ll probably be exhausted by then, but I’ll probably be okay most of the night. I slept the whole afternoon.”
“Oh, okay, so you’re prepared.”
“Of course. And I’m sorry it has to be this way when you just came back – but you’re going to have to cook something for yourself tonight. I can’t be in two places at the same time.”
“You know it’s okay, man.”
“Yes, absolutely! It was already super duper nice of you to cook for everyone for lunch, and it must have been a lot of work. I’m sure sleeping after that must have actually felt nice..!”
“Ah, that’s for sure. But you know, I wasn’t alone. Alice and Akiro helped me a lot. I may be the one who knows how to cook, but that doesn’t mean no one works with me.”
“Oh, that’s so nice of them. And you. I mean, everyone’s dealing with the situation really well, aren’t you?”
“True, true… It’s nice to see that we can get along so easily, and that we all take everything seriously… Without getting too worked up either, do you know what I mean?”
“Yeah, yeah! That’s actually really cool.”
“Hm-hm. Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m kinda hungry right now.”
“Oh yeah, let’s go eat!”
I turn around to look at Jan one last time.
“See you soon, stay strong!”
He smiles and waves at us.
“Thanks, you too, Neo.”
Ah- of course. I’ll be careful to do that. Smiling too, I follow Ciel downstairs. We’ve been talking for a very long time, I feel like I know them so much better already, and I’m happy I spent the afternoon with them!

Ciel and I ate sandwiches for dinner, chatting a little bit more, until they left because they really needed to go to sleep. I stayed in the dining room, however, because I really didn’t feel like sleeping at all.
“I don’t know what I could do. I guess I’ll get out of here in hopes that there’ll be someone to hang out with me.”
That I do. I go out of the dining room, then out of the main building, and in front of the door, outside, I’m surprised to find Chris and Noah chatting! Wow! These doors must really be made with something good, because I couldn’t hear them at all from inside.
… I still can’t hear them at all.
Upon further inspection, I notice that they’re talking in sign language. I feel stupid for not understanding, but I’m still a little bit surprised. I mean… I thought Chris would just speak out loud while Noah would speak in sign language! I look at their movements, curious, trying to tell what they’re talking about, but to no avail. All that I can say is that Noah does it with much more dexterity than Chris, but she still doesn’t seem to struggle.
“Hey, why did they stop?”
“Hi Neo, do you need something?”
“H- Aaaaah!”
I immediately get completely flustered. I *was* just staring at them creepily… And didn’t except Chris to talk to me!
“Oh, it’s okay. I’ll forgive you for stalking us.”
“I, I wasn’t stalking you!”
“Yah, I don’t believe you. Noah hugged you that one time, and now you can’t take your mind off him, so you resort to stalking him whenever you can.”
“What? Wait- No, not at all! I swear! I was just looking at your hands becaaause… I think sign language looks cool, you know?”
“Oh? Oh yeah, it totally is! I actually love practicing it.”
Was she just joking..?
She turns towards Noah.
“Nooo I’m not!”
“What?”
She’s still looking at Noah.
“Just quit it.”
I feel ignored.
“I hate you. Okay, now let’s let Neo join our conversation. But not this conversation!”
“How sweet…”
After looking at Noah’s signing one last time, she turns towards me.
“He’s asking you if you’d ever met a mute person before.”
“Oh! No I haven’t, actually. This is all new to me.”
I look at Noah – he’s smiling calmly, as always. He reminds me of Jan, in that sense, but I don’t know either of them enough to know if I can really make that comparison.
“Actually, I didn’t know you could be born mute without being deaf. I mean… I could have guessed, but I just never thought about it.”
“Oh well yeah, you can.”
Noah looks away for a second, almost seeming to lose his smile… But not quite, and he’s smiling again when he signs.
“Hm-hm. But he wasn’t born mute.”
“Woah, really? But then, what happened?”
She doesn’t even look at him before she answers.
“A small bomb exploded right next to his face. Parts got in his mouth, and he hasn’t been able to speak ever since.”
“Oh my God!”
I turn to look at him. He doesn’t even seem bothered to hear it.
“I’m so sorry to hear that ! But… But…”
I look at his face… Rather, his hair…
“Then… Your face..?”

Spoiler:

Monokuma suddenly appears, jumps around Noah in a magnificent salto and grabs his fringe just long enough for me to see the right side of his face.
“Yeeee-haah!”
“Again?!”
“Again..?”
I don’t know why I repeated what Chris said. I keep staring at Noah, in shock. Half of his face is burned… It’s filled with pink patches of different sizes and forms, some swollen, some perfectly flat against his skin.
Noah looks slightly upset, and he doesn’t notice I’m staring, busy himself staring at Monokuma.
“Are you going to do this everytime someone mentions his face?!”
“Why, yes, of course!”
“B-But, what if he’d wanted to keep it a secret?! You motherfucker!”
“Upupu… The world must know he’s not just a pretty boy… You can’t hide your classmates how hideous you are, BWAHAHAHA!”
“He’s not ugly at all! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!”
“Oh-oh, it seems Chris had a glitch!”
“Ffff-”
Chris suddenly starts running toward Monokuma, preparing a low punch-
“No!”
But Noah starts running too and catches her before she reaches the bear, making them both fall over.
And it’s complete and utter silence for approximately a minute.
“Oooh… Oooh… I saw Chris’ life fly past my own eyes… Oooh… I really thought I was going to have to kill her on the spot… One of my precious students… Ooh, my poor heart can’t take it…”
“Go away.”
“Ooooh… And I must be having hallucinations now… I’m almost certain I just heard weak ole Neo giving me an order…”
“No one wants to listen to you! Go away! Now!”
“Oh wait, he actually is. Hell, I hadn’t even noticed you were here. Weren’t you supposed to be killing yourself slowly in your bedroom or something? I thought it was such a #mood.”
“Oh my God. Fuck off.”
“Heavens! He sweared! He must be serious! Ah! I must run away! Now!”
And that he does, ridiculously so.
Everything went so quickly. I stay still, confused, a few seconds, before I turn around to look at Chris and Noah. They’re sitting on the ground, both looking furious.
“Why did you defend him?! He deserves whatever he gets!”
"No, it’s not okay! He-he can’t just do whatever he pleases with us, at all times!”
“Nooo… It’s just not fair..!”
Chris starts crying. Her sobs sound filled with angst more so than anything else… And I take a step towards them, unsure about what I could possibly do to help, as Noah is reassuringly tapping her on the shoulder, when he starts hugging her.
She continues crying against his shoulder.
“It’s not cool… It’s not cool at all…”
I look at them, and I think “This is why no one wants to eat with us.”, and I think, “Shut the hell up, girl. Noah says welcome back.”, and I think, “Please, I’ll learn about other vegetables!”…
And I wonder if everything’s actually so fun and okay.
“It’s not…”
“Hm.”
I kneel next to them. Noah looks at me, seeming worried.
“I-It’s okay…”
“No it’s not!”
She doesn’t even look at me. Her voice sounds muffled against Noah’s jacket.
“We-we can get used to Monokuma being mean from time to time, as long as we stay strong, and nice! It’ll be over in no time!”
She still doesn’t turn around, but she moves her head back a little to answer.
“Huh? Yeah? And wh-what are YOU doing t-to make it be ove-over? Staying s-strong maybe?!”
…
I am rendered speechless.
It just feels like everything I’ve believed today… has just been destroyed completely.
“Being here sucks ass… The bear… Is the worst…”
She rests her head against Noah’s shoulder and starts crying even louder.
I look up to see his face and meet his gaze… But he immediately looks away.
I guess they want me gone.
Not that it bothers me greatly… I don’t want to hear her cry any longer.
She just seemed to strong. And so… Okay…
Everyone seemed okay!
But no one is.

That’s what I’m going to have to understand.
I get up and leave. I almost run towards the dorms and towards my room, in which I quickly lock myself up.
I don’t fall over my bed this time. I just fall down, slipping against the door.
And I stare at the wall blankly for a few minutes, in complete silence.

I hear a muffled voice; I don’t know where it comes from.

“These tensions are what we don’t want.”

It sounds soothing.

Somehow.

I may let myself fall asleep right here.